Yes, I'll do it

I thought about the proposition all night. I know them all. They are safe men. They are all kinda cute. I could use the money. It's something different and kind of sexy. On the other hand, this could destroy our friendship, they will never look at me the same, and what if gets weird?

It's 8:00am the next morning, I typed the following text to Tom, "Hello, I hope you are having a lovely morning :). I thought about what you asked me re: Jack's birthday. As long as everyone promised not to tell anyone about it and remain respectful, I'll do it." I sat for what felt like an hour, hand hovering over the "send" button. If I click it, that's it. There would be no turning back.

A few moments later, I click "send". I hear the sent text sound. It's sent. I view my blue message pop up and wait for his response. Almost immediately, I see the three dancing dots indicating that he's typing. I tense up as I await his response. On my screen appears, "great" followed by a smile emoji.

I begin to feel chills go down my spine followed by a blast of thoughts. What did I just commit to? These are my friends, what will they think of me after? Will I chicken out? Will they see me as less of an equal afterwards? What will I wear? I begin to second guess my decision but realize that the ball is in motion now.

I committed. It's happening. Whatever, I'll do it.