Wonder Woman Wants Her Lasso Back

There was a ceremony already in progress. Lois could hear the lusty moans of women, the hard grunts of men, the slap of leather on flesh and cries of ecstatic pain. Good cover as the naked Amazon crawled forth.

"It's the cultists!" Lois whispered. "They must have captured you. They're probably responsible for the missing women, too."

"And they have stolen my lasso," the Amazon said. "They will return it."

Whatever else Wonder Woman might be—beautiful, passionate, powerful, intelligent, courageous—subtlety was not her strong suit. Lois just had time to cringe as the Princess of Themyscria drew back her fist, and let go with a blow that would have staggered Superman.

The shrine exploded in a million pieces. Condoms flew like shrapnel, the broken fragments of the idol, glass bottles of jizz and cocaine, tattered fragments of money all became part of an expanding cloud of dust that shocked and blinded the assembled cultists.

All save one.

Skin the color of fresh blood on parchment. Dark horns curling back from her brow. Tall and svelte, with the lean, lanky build of a marathoner, small breasts set high and barely contained by a kind of plunging, v-shaped tunic. Pure white eyes with neither pupil nor iris stared out from dark pits, and her mouth was twisted in a half-secret Mona Lisa smile.

On her otherwise bare arms, Wonder Woman's bracers. On her brow, the familiar golden tiara. In her hands, the glowing lasso.

"Blaze!" Wonder Woman recognized her foe. "Return my property at once. Or else."

"Or else what, Wonder Whore?" The demon sneered and took a stance, twirling the lasso about her head like a lariat. "You may have escaped, but you are no match for my power!"

Years of dealing with superheroes and supervillains found Lois Lane immediately head to the sidelines, inching toward the cultists. She would have to be careful to avoid being captured, but as long as the two supers focused on each other, she should be able to find the missing women...

Diana sprinted across the gap between herself and Blaze. The lasso shot out, and the Amazon ducked under it...but not far enough, the golden line closing around her throat! Still, the Amazon Princess closed the gap, striking the demon hard enough in the face to stagger the scarlet succubus. When Blaze turned back, there was black blood at the corner of her mouth...but the lasso tightened around the Amazon's throat, and Wonder Woman gasped as the demon drew on the line, bringing Diana her knees. A quick loop ensnared the Amazon's wrists.

Like most villains, Blaze gloated, enraptured in having someone at her mercy. She grinned cruelly, watching her foe gasp for air.

"Foolish bitch. It was to be my pleasure to wring the life from you slowly. To prolong your **** as I degraded your body. But now I see you are too dangerous to let live. Worry not, however..." The demon leaned in, pulling Lois down until the Amazon's elbows scraped the ground. "...I shall take pleasure in defiling your corpse."

Lois Lane's foot struck with all the might and power that she possessed. The bridge of her foot hit the demon's cunt hard enough to break wood, hard enough she felt the tendons rip as she put the boot in. The toe ripped through cloth, jabbing into the slit. Even a demon, inured to the tortures of Hell, could be staggered when struck a courageous blow in a sensitive spot. For just a moment, Blaze fell forward, her grip loosened. She turned, raising one claw to backhand the reporter into oblivion, her concentration momentarily turned from Diana.

Only a moment. It was all that Wonder Woman needed.

The lasso was torn from the demon's hands. A two-fisted blow struck Blaze hard beneath the chin, her head snapping back as though on hinges. She nearly fell over the reporter, who scrabbled out of the way, hobbling on her good leg.

What followed was not a battle. Wonder Woman stomped on the demon until the cement floor cracked. The whole building shook as blow after blow fell, black blood splashing, beautiful features deforming as the Amazon methodically rearranged the planes of Blaze's face. When the demon raised a hand, it fell back, fingers and forearm at unnatural angles.

Lois Lane had seen worse sights.

When, after half an hour, the bloody beat down was done, the gore-spattered Amazon stood over the crushed demon and retrieved her belongings. Nude save for her tiara and bracers, the golden lasso in her hands, Wonder Woman stared down at the broken thing that somehow still breathed and said.

"Do not ever touch my wife."

The reporter's heart gave a little flutter.