Wishing

Nadia turned in bed. It was warm. The smell of Leon’s anti-perspirant roll. Light and clean. He still sweated a little in the spring mellow. But it was such a good human smell.

Nadia leaned into his shoulder. Even sleeping, his arm curled in to bring her close.

She looked up at him in the dark. Then at the window. No moon. Just a hot clear night.

Her leg climbed over his. Tangled in.

Then she felt safe enough to venture into a dream.

***

The dream started easy. She was back home. But younger. Much younger.

Looking up. Walking around her middle school, then around the corner to the sweet shop, but she was not allowed in. She began to cry and tantrum.

“I want chocolate!” She yelled. She was going to steal them!

Then found herself grown up in a field. Grassy and warm. Dandelions and her in hands a tray of chocolate brownies.

She looked out of herself. She was Alice now. Black hair. Cheeky soul. Warm, so warm with those sunbeams and freckles…

“Hey Nadia… I’m so happy you are happy…” Alice said.

“I’ve been thinking that you are actually really cute…” Alice smiled, taking a bite of the brownie and then making an exaggerated mmm… face.

“Cute? He said that…” Nadia said.

“Yeah he did! And he is right!” Alice said, “Hey wanna smoke after we finish looking at my grave.”

Nadia looked at the tombstone in the grassy field, ALICE MOORFIELD 19XX - 20XX.

“How? Wha-? I’m actually trying to quit smoking… It causes cancer you know…” Nadia said.

“Hahaha… More for me,” Alice said, lighting a cigarette… But then Nadia found herself lighting it for her. They were sitting on the steps of The Pony — their old hotel.

“I wish…” Nadia began.

“Don’t. You need to live, Dove. Don’t be wishing anything on me,” Alice smiled.

“And Leon… Well he is a wish come true!” Alice chuckled, “Just don’t forget about me…”

Nadia held Alice’s hand. Alice lay down and rested her head on Nadia’s lap.

“I could never forget about you…” Nadia said.

But Alice was snoring. She looked so peaceful.