Why We Wrestle

For whatever reason, John was always into wrestling, and because he was so supportive and kind about it sometimes you obliged. He always said that he was trying to challenge you outside your comfort zone so that you could be more confident and less passive. You understand what he means.

In many ways you took the path of less resistance using your high marks to become a doctor and never really thinking of pursuing anything else. You never pushed too hard in medical school and residency to try and get into the top schools or top positions. But you were okay with that. You had a normal doctor job in a normal specialty at a reasonable hospital. Life is good but you sometimes wonder what it would have been like had you been more confident or had more drive. But you can't imagine being in a high-end administrative role, it just always felt so distant. Wrongly or rightly you always blamed it on being a woman. While maybe there was some truth to it, the truth is you had just been really passive in pretty much everything in life: jobs, dating, hobbies. More than anything you had been lucky to drift into this wonderful life.

Despite your husband's support you had never won at wrestling. John said that whoever won he would find it sexually exciting but that he would not take it easy and let you win because that would feel too false. If you did win though, that would be great. The thing is it's just too hard...