Who am I?

Hekate sat her back down on the floor, leaning in an kissing her passionately on the lips. “Don’t worry dear, I will make this so special for you. Tonight when I get home, we will form our pact.” Hugging her tightly once more, “I have to go for now, I have to find some more research, after all it’s the only way we can…” Then rushing to her room to change.

Alexis just stood there lost, what has she done, what is she thinking. I am forming a pact with Hekate, she’s a demon. Oh wait they are both demons. Oh god, what does she do, she will never be able to be Robbie again. But, but at least this way she can go home, can’t she?

Not even noticing as Hekate exited fully dressed blowing her a kiss, “I will be back shortly, baby, I just have to get a few things and then I will be home for you. Amita Fidelisa should be here soon, I’m sure you have a lot to discuss. I love you my dear daughter.” Then departing the home in a rush.

Alexis just sunk into a overstuffed chair, her mind wrestling with how everything seemed to accelerate so quickly. She could feel her doubts but also something deep inside telling her this was the best move. The thought of returning home exciting her, but would anyone accept this version of her. Oh god what should she do.

Suddenly a realization hit her, she was referring to herself as her even in her inner monologue, “Arrgh” she exclaimed, balling up her fists and slamming them into the arms of the chair. “but, but I’m a guy….” blinking as she spoke to herself and finding herself glancing down to her body covered only by the long silk shirt. “Or am I, I, I don’t know anymore, why is this so difficult. I feel so right as this me, but, but I still yearn to be the me I remember and I know it felt so right also. God, what is wrong with me?” Leaning back deeper into the chair, as she pondered who she truly is now.

When Fidelisa finally arrived she found the young woman, lost in thought in a chair, her legs pulled up and folded beside her. “Alexis, dear, is everything okay?”

Alexis blinked as she shook her head, attempting to clear her head of the thoughts that were disturbing her. “I’m okay, Auntie Lisa.” Shifting in the chair to sit properly, “Oh I’m sorry, let me get changed.”

The Imp blinked, “Please dear, take your time and remember if you need to talk I will always be here for you. About anything you need to.”

The young woman bit her lower lip, as she wiggled in the chair, “um, um Mistress wants to form a pact with me.”

Fidelisa nods, “yes dear, but she has told you that since she recreated your form mixed with her essence.”

Nodding, “I know, but, but now she wants to, tonight…. and I, I said okay.”

Smiling, “That’s wonderful dear, what’s wrong don’t you want to form a pact with Mistress Hekate.”

“No, no, I mean yes, I do, but I, I just don’t know, will I still be me? I mean I was a man, but now I feel like this is me. Am I still the me from home? Or is this the real me? Did I never know who I truly am?”

Fidelisa stepped closer, her chubby, hand gently resting on Alexis’s arm. Her yellow eyes softened as she crouched down to meet her student at eye level. “Oh, sweet child, you’ve been through so much in such a short time. It’s only natural to feel lost - torn between the you that was and who you are becoming. But let me tell you something.”

Placing her other hand over the woman’s balled fists, encouraging her to release the built up tension. “You are still you. The soul, the heart - that core does not change, no matter the form you take. Those memories you carry, the love you feel, YOUR choices - all of it makes up who you are. And the questions you’re asking now? They only prove it is still you, that sweet soul I first met trapped within the mirror.”

Alexis blinked, her lips quivering as tears teased to form in her eyes, “But what if it’s all just a lie? What if all I am, is just what Mistress Hekate has made me be? Her influence seems to strong at times, her expectations. What if I completely lose myself when I submit to this pact?”

Fidelisa’s smile deepened, as she leaned in closer, “Dear, Mistress Hekate is a demon, yes, in fact a succubus with royal blood, and yes she can often be intense and at times overwhelming. Though I can tell, Alexis she does love you, she does see you as her daughter. As such she has fears for you, hopes for you, and dreams of seeing you find yourself and growing to be the wonderful person she can tell your meant to be. And she is not the only one dear, I have come to see you as one of my very own dear ones as well.”

Moving the hand from her arm up to brush a few stray hairs from her face. “A pact though is not about control, it is a deep bond. One in which both share a connection, where they can share strengths and even some knowledge. Although only if both partners allow it, it is not like enthralling when one being overwhelms and dominates the other. It will allow her a bond that you each can sense the other and know if they need you. That way she can help you, protect to and be able to come to you if necessary.”

Alexis hesitated, her voice dropping to a soft whisper, “But, but will it even change me more.”

Fidelisa softly chuckled, “Perhaps my dear, but not like you are afraid of, you may find a deeper understanding of the succubus side of your nature, and even Mistress herself. A pact is a bond, a trust, but that does not erase who you are at the very heart of your soul. They give you more tools to shape that part of you, perhaps aiding you in overcoming some of the fears and doubts that hold you back.”

Then leaning in to place a soft kiss on her forehead, “And dear you are already much stronger than you realize, braver and the love and kindness you have displayed at times show me you are diamond, just needing a little polishing for the entire world to be able to see how brightly you will shine.”

Alexis swallowed, her mind still spinning, the motherly reassurances of the imp calming her somewhat, “Thank you, Auntie Lisa, I, I am still not sure, but I know it will be okay.”

Fidelisa gave her relaxing small hand a gentle squeeze, “That’s perfectly okay dear, you don’t have to have all the answers right now. None of us do, we just hope we are going in the right direction. Just remember dear, you are loved, by Mistress Hekate and by myself.” Winking as she leaned in to allow their foreheads to touch, “Perhaps even by yourself, I just hope someday you see the wonderful person you are becoming.”

Alexis found herself returning the smile, and finally her doubts quietening, a quell in the storm that had been haunting her thoughts all morning.

Finding herself reassured by the calming evident in Alexis’s eyes, “Now young lady, why don’t you go change and we will find something to eat. We have an appointment at Mistress Fortura’s store later to pick up a special item she was making for you.”

Alexis smiled, eyes lighting up, “An item?” she queried.