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Chapter 5
by SG
Does she?
What else can she do?
Kat sat down next to Dani, who gently placed a hand on her back. Kat put her head in her hands and let out loud sob.
"Kat, babe, I'm so sorry you feel bad," Dani said softly. "But from where I'm sitting, this looks like a win for you."
Kat looked up from her hands, her hastily-applied eyeliner smeared across her cheeks. "A win? What, that people around me are suddenly turning into Stepford wives?"
"Oh, Kat," Dani said. "No, honey, that's not it at all. Do I look like a robot? Do I sound like a mind-controlled drone?"
Kat just shook her head, so she continued. "I'm not, like, not myself anymore. I'm still me, still gonna finish my dissertation this fall and get on all the apps after that. I just have this-"
"-urge?" Kat asked.
"No, that was definitely the wrong word," Dani replied. "Urges can be resisted, they can come and go. I can't resist this because there's nothing to resist. This is just how I think and feel now. Like, hmm... ok! Can you believe that pi is 3, not 3.14?"
"No," Kat said. Her curiosity was piqued and she was reassured by her roommate's familiar relaxed body language and precise reasoning. Maybe she had overreacted.
"Well, try. Try really, really hard." Dani paused. "Are you trying?"
"No," Kat replied with a roll of her eyes. "I obviously can't try to believe something that's obviously false. It's not something you can 'try' to do, it's just what I know. So what's changed? What do you know, that you're my **** or have to do what I say or something?"
Kat's gaze flicked downward for just a moment and Dani caught it. "Dude, it's cool! Just look! And no, I don't have to be your ****, that's the last thing either of us want. I want to... hrm, how do I put this? I became aware that your wellbeing and happiness are the most important things. Ever."
Kat groaned. "Shit, I was starting to hope it wasn't that bad. Can I like, release you from the spell or something? Uh, 'I release you.'"
Dani shrugged. "Honestly, it was worth a try. No, Kat, if you really want things to go back to normal, just ask! I bet if you go in there and tell Chris you'd prefer if he just acted like he always had, he'd go back to chewing you out every time you're late. If you want, I can just drop this conversation and act like none of this ever happened-"
"That! Do that!" Kat said frantically.
"-but I'm not going to just yet," Dani shrugged. "I'm not your ****, I want what's best for you. I naturally have a lot of insight into this phenomenon, and I can put my analytical mind to good use for you investigating it. Now, do you remember anything specific about your interaction with Chris? What happened right before his expression changed?"
"He touched me," Kat said, a look of horror dawning on her face. "Just like-"
"This is what I wasn't afraid of. For now, I think we can proceed on the theory that's contact. It doesn't need to be skin-to-skin, unless you went to work topless."
"So I can't touch anyone ever again..." Kat whispered. "Without..."
Dani put her hand on Kat's knee and rubbed soothingly. "Don't catastrophize. We need to think through the ramifications of this and panicking won't help. Now, let's try this. Can you articulate what you think is different about me and Chris?"
Kat replied hoarsely. "You have to do whatever I want. You're still you, but you're **** to obey me."
Dani smiled encouragingly. "You're almost right! I'm not **** to do anything, though. Yesterday you went out with your friends, right? What did you order?"
"Nachos."
"So why did you order them? Were you **** to?"
"Of course not," Kat said with irritation. "Nobody told me to. It was my choice."
"Because you wanted nachos! If you'd seen a sizzling platter of fajitas brought out, you might have changed your mind and ordered fajitas. Would that have subverted your free will? No, because you want what you want. You're not any less you because what you want changes from day to day. I just prioritize your wellbeing above all else. It's honestly not that big of a change, since I already wanted the best for you."
Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, Kat felt impossibly weary. Dani caressed her thigh gently as she sagged back into the couch. She sighed deeply and closed her eyes.
Naptime?
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Philosopher's Toolkit
Fundamental control
Unique forms of control and manipulation.
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