What Is Wrong With Me?

All my thoughts were focused on you. I don't know when it started, but every time I thought about submitting to a man, it was with you. Kneeling on the floor next to you, being pet by you, following orders from you. Always you. No one should have thoughts like these about their older brother.

I decided I needed to know for sure. Estroxin. I had to know whether the pet hormone was coursing through my veins, or if I was just a freak. Do you remember that weekend a few months back? There was an event you went to. I can't even remember the name because I was so focused on what was happening to me. That weekend was when I managed to get tested without you knowing about it. It took 3 agonizing days for the test results to come back.

A pet.

I was a pet.

I had enough of the hormone running through me that the doctor was surprised I didn't know years ago. That phone call acted as a million daggers, come to tear my psyche to pieces. I've never hurt so much from so few words. Everything I had planned, all of my future, gone. I know I've already said that, but I can't help it. Losing it all crushed me. If I had known years ago, like every other pet, I'd be fine. All my thoughts and feelings about my future would have had the chance to follow my heart. I could have been happy with my desires to be cuddled and owned. But now? After spending years working towards becoming an engineer? After wondering how many kids I would have with my future husband? It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to put so much effort into my life to have my brain turn against me and push me in a new direction.

Then there was you! Why were my thoughts about you, my brother? What could you have been thinking about how I was acting? The first few weeks when we moved into that apartment, we were talking like crazy. Then in an instant I shut you out. I didn't want you to deal with my mess, especially when I couldn't stop imagining you petting me. It must have hurt to think you only had me for a fleeting moment. Yet you were so kind and caring, you did everything you could to help make it through those months, even though you didn't know what was wrong with me.

And why wasn't I a specific animal? There was no such thing as a petgirl that wasn't a pet! I spent a while racking my brain, trying to come up with why I didn't know what animal I was, until I decided upon the simplest solution.

The park. Petgirls are always at the park, and there's one that's only a few blocks from our apartment. I don't know why I thought going there would help. I've seen thousands of petgirls before. None of them made me feel any different. I had been avoiding looking at or even thinking about them ever since this started. Maybe now I'd see them in a new light.

The park is actually pretty nice. If it hadn't hurt so much to see other petgirls, I'd have loved to have gone there way more often. After going on a quick jog around the main path, I found a bench and sat down. I let my eyes shift around without looking too out of place. Most of the pets didn't really do much for me. Whether it be cats, mice, rabbits, or birds, they all provided the same general feeling of envy that I could not comprehend.

There was one type of pet, though. The one that was by far the most abundant. Of course, I should have suspected that, since the animal itself is most well known to love parks. Dogs. Dog girls are everywhere. I had friends in high school who grew up to be dog girls, and talking to them never provoked any sort of emotion or reaction like what they were doing now.

Looking at their collars, looking at their dog ears and their tails, they made me feel... calm. Like they belonged on me, that I was made to wear them. I started to imagine you sliding a collar over my head for me, putting my ears on and calling me a good girl. I couldn't help it. My legs started to rub against each other subconsciously. Maybe you would be sitting down on the couch, watching tv, and I could be laying my head in your lap while you rubbed my belly. The thought alone was enough to send butterflies throughout my stomach.

It was at this moment that I realized the dog girl that I must have been staring at for entirely too long was approaching me. She was a brunette like me, but kept her hair much shorter than mine. She seemed to be about the same height as me, too.

"Hello!" the dog girl excitedly barked out. "You enjoying the park?"

"Uhh... Yeah, it's a nice park. I've never been here before."

"Oh, you new in town?"

"Kinda. I just moved here for college. I'm gonna be a programmer."

"Huh, funny. I coulda sworn..." she muttered.

I felt my breath catch in my throat. Did she know? I chuckled nervously before quickly stuttering out, "T-Thanks for talking to me, but I think I need to go now. Bye!"

I only made it a few steps before she said "Hey, wait! You wanna try on my headband?"

For a moment, time completely stopped. The ears were so nice. I wanted them so bad. But if I put them on... would I ever come back? And how did she even know I wanted to? It took every ounce of willpower I had remaining in my body to shout "No thanks!" and take off.