Wednesday

Wednesday is a light day. You only have one class, late morning. You come in late, missing assembly, arriving while the first lessons are going on. The staff room is unsurprisingly quiet, with only a few teachers in.

The only recognisable face is Annisa’s. She’s sitting in a corner reading the Bible. You grab a coffee and then ask whether you can sit with her. “Oui.” You sit down and let her finish her reading, trying hard not to ogle her, but there’s very little else to look at. The other faculty members are old and uninteresting.

“Do you read the Bible, Monsieur Smith?” Anissa asks after she’s stopped. She closes the Bible as she says this. It’s quite an ornate book, and well thumbed.

“No, not since religious studies at school. Must admit, it wasn’t my favourite subject.”

“And you don’t go to church?”

“No, no. The only time I think I’ve been in a church is for weddings and funerals. Not even for Christmas carols. My family weren’t religious.”

“Not many people in this country are. It’s the same in France. It’s a shame that so many have turned away from the word of God. In my village everybody went to church every Sunday. It was part of the weekly routine. It was what brought everyone together. When you’re part of the church, you know you belong.”

“Abigail told me you wanted to become a nun. Is that why?”

“Oui. I want to dedicate my life to God.”

“Teaching in a school in England is an odd move to make.”

“My priest, back home, he told me I should see the world first, before I make such a bold decision. He said my decision would be more certain if I was better informed on the secular world. As for England? Oui. It is odd, I grant you, but my priest knew the priest here. He said this town had a strong Catholic community, and there’s a nunnery I could visit just outside town.”

There is? Ah, yes, you remember now, there is a nunnery a few villages over, a rarity in the UK. Henry VIII shut all the monasteries and nunneries down hundreds of years ago, and only a handful have opened since, hampered by the fact Anglicanism holds little reverence for monasticism.

“You visited it?”

“Oui. I tend to spend half term week there. It’s very relaxing.” Although animated by her statement, there’s an underlying level of wistfulness in Anissa’s statement.

“You don’t sound so convinced.”

She looks at you with a wry smile on her face. “It’s just… I was like many others when I was younger. I went to church because my parents made me. I believed because everyone told me to. Until I was thirteen. That day I went into the church for some peace and quiet. I liked it. I just didn’t like the ceremony. I went to light a candle for my grandmama, who had recently passed away. I was praying, going through the words, not really believing them. And then it struck me. A moment of clarity. A moment of euphoria. I’d never felt its like before. I’ve never felt it since. God showed me his glory, but only for a minute. Ever since I’ve been looking to repeat it”

“I thought if I dedicated my life to God, I would find it again. But non. Not to be. The nunnery is relaxing, but I feel happier here in the school, than there. And this summer, when I went home, I felt so out of place. The church, it didn’t feel so welcoming as I remembered it. I don’t know. I fear I’m losing my belief. Sometimes I worry I imagined that moment of clarity.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help. As I said, I’m not religious. I don’t see what religious people see in religion.”

She nods. “You lived in the city before you came here.”

“I did, although I grew up in this town.”

“I don’t know if I could live in a city. This town is big enough for me. My village back in France was so much smaller.”

Any further conversation is broken by the appearance of Blair. She smiles at you, but she turns her attention to Anissa.

“You still up for this evening?”

“Oui, I’ve got my stuff in my car.”

“You don’t need racquets or anything?”

“Non, non. I’ve brought several. I don’t think Spencer has any.”

For a moment you look confused. “What’s happening?”

“Badminton. Leisure Centre. After school,” Blair informs you. “Women only. Although if you want you can come and watch.”

She gives you a wink. “Tempting. I’ll see how it goes.”