We were scrolling through the internet to find you the perfect present

"Last night we decided to scroll through the internet to find you the perfect birthday, but we could not find anything that would get here in time until we found Goblin Spouses inc. website. Which gave a guarantee that they would get their in the morning so the person could meet their new Goblin Spouse so we answered the questions based on how we thought you would answer since we know so well. After we did that we paid them the money they were asking for after we found out who they would be sending which was Kimdile who is upstairs packing her stuff. She will do anything for you if it makes you happy including cooking, cleaning, helping you relieve some stress in the bedroom perhaps and it looks like she already started by giving you a massage while we were talking to you. So after today this house is yours since we are moving out of here so you two lovebirds can have as much fun as you want without thinking you are disturbing us. We are definitely going to miss this house, but we will come and visit anytime we want, but we will call first to see if it is safe."

My new wife than tells me "That is right darling I will do anything to make you happy especially all the stuff your parents said and I could even give you something that human woman can't give which is a baby to call your that is biological ours and it will be painless. So you can give your parents the grandbabies they always wanted from you so keep that mind and make sure you tell me if you want that and I can make it happen for you." That makes me a little scared that my wife is suggesting this to me incase I ever want kids of my own which I guess would be interesting to see me have kids.