We skip ahead a bit

Ruby's head was spinning. A new baby in the family, on Christmas Eve again! Mum off to the shops to buy what Ruby couldn't get, Davina calling and saying her parents were nowhere to be found... an already eventful day was getting even crazier. And just as she thought that there was no way the day could possibly get any weirder, she heard a strange sound.

She looked around the kitchen. No one else was here. Cherry certainly didn't laugh like that. She heard the noise again and realised it was coming from the baby monitor. Slowly, softly, she padded over to the baby's room, then flung the door open. The room was empty. She looked at the cot. Too empty. No baby.

SLAM!

She looked up and saw a flash of color out the skylight. Hurrying as fast as she could, she pushed the ladder under it, climbed up, unlatched it, and climbed out into the cold night air. And what she saw outside cemented it as the craziest day she'd ever had.

A weird, little, green... thing, scurrying away with Lulubelle. And 2 others near it. She took a step nearer as the things hooked Lulubelle onto a wire which lifted her up... a ladder? Here, on the roof? She looked up, but saw only clouds. Then she heard a noise from the things.

"Oi!" She said, "Did you just hiss at me? Was that a hiss? Because let me tell you, I'm not... Oh, my God. I'm on the roof."

Her nerves caught up with her as she looked down and saw how big a fall it would be if she slipped. Then her nerves got worse as she looked down a little more and noticed her legs were bare. Her skirt must have gotten trapped on the ladder! Ugh, what a horrible time for bad luck!

She turned back to the green things and saw the ladder moving. Realising she had no time to go back for her skirt, she ran and grabbed onto the ladder, just as it slid away from the roof.

"What the hell are you doing!"

Ruby's head whipped around for the source of the shout. It was that bloke! The gin and tonic inspector! Running along the rooftops after her! Was he some sort of stalker?

"Who sees a ladder and just pops on? A ladder in the sky and you thought, 'Yeah, I'll give that a go, babes'?"

"They've got my baby!"

The ladder twisted around just as the strange man jumped off the roof and clamped on the side opposite Ruby.

"What's your name?" He asked, the most innocent and polite smile on his face.

"Ruby. Ruby Sunday." Ruby couldn't believe she said that! A potential stalker in her face on a ladder to the sky and she's giving out her full name!

"Hello, Ruby Sunday. And it's a Sunday right now, that's a coincidence! I'm the Doctor. Hi."

Ruby thought about her name's other coincidence, with the ruby panties she was wearing, then blushed as it occurred to her that he could totally see them! At least he had the courtesy not to mention it?

"I met you before." Ruby said, tentatively, trying to get a feel for who this man was.

"Yup."

"There are..." Ruby paused, knowing how insane she'd sound. "Creatures."

"They're goblins."

At the revelation, Ruby's grip loosened a bit, then she quickly held as tight as she could, realising a fall from this height would definitely kill her. She couldn't die in her pants!

"Oh, hold on," cried the Doctor, "because I spend so much time hanging off of things, I made a little invention."

He pulled a pair of gloves out of his pocket, almost normal except for the wiring and LED display. So not at all normal.

"Gloves?" Ruby asked incredulously.

The Doctor looked almost offended. "_Intelligent _gloves. One each. Should work. Put it on. Cos I thought to myself, 'What's the problem with hanging on?' It's all the friction and the weight and the burn, so I got rid of that. The glove's a kind of super-kinetic transfer of mass."

As he spoke, he and Ruby each put on one glove, then grabbed the ladder with the gloved hand.

The Doctor decided to demonstrate how wonderful his invention was by letting go of the ladder and holding it with only the gloved hand, splaying himself outwards.

"The glove takes all my weight. All the weight is in the glove. So nothing burns. Nothing pulls. Nothing hurts. All the mass and density and mavity exists in the glove."

Suddenly, a cranking noise could be heard as the ladder began to ascend.

"I think they're pulling us in, the, er..." Ruby stammered "The goblins."

"Do you know why they call them goblins?"

Ruby blinked and jolted her head back. What did he say? Was it time for some sort of etymology lesson?

"Cos they like to gobble you up." He said, with a glint in his eye.

Oh. No etymology lesson. He's just psycho. And she's trapped here alone with him and a bunch of goblins! Without a skirt or shoes or even a bra! She began to feel like she could cry.