Turn around

Quickly you turn around and see...

An elf?

Her ears are hard to miss. Her smile shines at you like the sun itself, with a grin that only very very happy people can bring up at such an early hour.

"Good morning master!" she says in a high-pitched voice.

You look at the elf in mistrust. A young elf at your doorstep in the early morning, calling you "Master"? That's a trap, isn't it?

"So it is you. I really wanted to meet you in person."

"Me?" you ask her cautiously.

"Yes, you. You are Mr. Gunther, aren't you?"

"Yes..."

"There you go! The whole village is talking about you!" She claps her hands cheerfully, happy to have reached her destination: You.

"The whole village? What village? What are you even talking about?"

"Let me start from the beginning," the elf begins.

"My brother was here a few days ago. He has always been a bit... special."

"Your brother?"

"Also an elf. Light hair. Plays the flute. Likes music. A bit... loopy."

Now a light goes on in your head. The elf who played the concert for you is her brother.

"My father, the village elder, never thought that my brother would lose his innocence. To be honest, no one in the village believed that. You can't imagine how surprised we were when he returned home and announced to the whole village that he had slept with the wife of an Inkeeper."

"Oh please no."

"He told us all how kind you were when you offered him your wife and allowed him to inseminate her with his offspring."

"God, please kill me."

"I can't wait to become an aunt in nine months!"

You shake your head and cross your arms.

"No, no, no you've got it wrong, my wife is not pregnant. Not by your brother or anyone else!"

"Oh come on Gunther, we both know how babies are made. You know, the thing with the bees and flowers.. And from what my brother told us, your wife was a very fertile flower. Anway, now he does nothing else but walk around the village from morning to night, playing the flute and singing. He sings of her beauty, her lush chest, and the warmth his manhood felt when he pushed his.."

"..I get it!" you shout.

A whole fucking village full of elves knows that your wife is sleeping with other guys. Great...

"Get to the point. What do you want from me now?" you ask, getting more and more annoyed.

"Ahem." She cleared her throat, straightened up, and put on an even bigger grin, which you thought was impossible.

"I want to thank my brother's benefactor. With all my heart, with my words, as well as with my body."

"What is she saying?"

"With your body?"

"Yes, master. I have come to give you my body for one night because you have given my little brother that of your beloved wife. "