Tomb Raider remastered

“Oh, it’s boobmouse, back at it again, greeeeeeat.”

“Gina please.”

“Why is it always the authors I don’t want to come back who scream for a follow up? Where’s Ted? Where’s Sarckle? Where’s that lazy bitch Alexandra?”

“…”

“FUCK YOU, SARCKLE!”

“Just wanted to have you get that out of the way. Anyways, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with boob..I mean Hvast. That Star Wars story we covered last time was cool.”

“No it wasn’t, Marcie.”

“And this time we return back to the Lara Croft one. Quite topical, if I might add, given that a remake of the three first games was just announced for the Switch.”

“Uhu, I like to switch to a better story.”

“Gina…”

“No, seriously the fuck even happened last time? We covered that shit ages ago, the only thing I remember was that I got very angry.”

“When we last left off, our protagonist just impregnated Lara Croft. He is now pushing time forward so that he can legally fuck his own daughters.”

“Wait, hold on, Marcie...I could SWEAR he already did that.”

“You said you didn’t remember.”

“Wait….wait...it’s it’s fucking coming back. HVAST YOU FUCKING, DISGUSTING PIECE OF MONKEY SHIIIIIIIIT!”

10 anger therapy sessions later

“You know Gina, I am not sure I am willing to keep paying for these sessions.”

“Tough, that’s your problem not mine.”

“ehem”

“But thanks to this therapy I realized that the protagonist already **** one of his daughters on our prior read. And Dr. Zoidberg assured me I was not clinically insane. So what the fuck is going on here, Marcie?”

“Err, yes I think Hvast was caught by the remake bug as well. We are now back were the daughter are unspoiled.”

"Think positive, Gina. That means the thing that made you angry is now gone."

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr........."

"Whelp, that didn't last very long."

“You know Marcie, there are not many things I hate.”

“Dr. Zoidberg disagrees.”

“BUT SEXUAL ORIENTATION CHANGE MAKES ME WANT TO KILL STUFF WITH A RUSTY SPOON!!”

“So the first daughter our new father goes after is Kate Croft, who used to be a lesbian before she was caught by **** trainers and turned into a pleasure ****.”

“WHO SUCKS DICK!”

“That’s the part you take issue with, huh?”

“Duh.”

“But Hvast is not without the capability to learn. He took your criticism into account.”

“You drop your robe and stand naked just behind your daughter. Sure, true **** requires some prior history (or at least the girl knowing that you are her father) but still fulfilling your old fantasy is a massive treat.

“Glad we agree, you fuck.”

“We get a choice to make. Should we treat our daughter like a toy or like a masterpiece.”

“Like I give a shit, but like a masterpiece sounds...more interesting.”

“So you, ah, give a shit, Gina. At least a little?”

“Shut up.”

“But I agree with you, Gina. So we take the masterpiece route and...hmm, it basically just means he is relatively gentle with Kate.”

“The fuck were you expecting then?”

“You know, furniture play. Cast stone on her and use her as a garden fountain ornament.”

“WOW, this is a story about a father fucking his own daughters and you still manage to make it more fucked up!”

“You just lack my artistic vision Gina.”

She probably expected a direct **** on her pussy but you want to show her a new world of pleasure, not tongue **** her like a common street whore.

“Marcie, you could learn something from this fucker!”

“You want me to lick your entire body like a dog, Gina?”

“Yes! And bark while you do it!”

“See this is why we never use your roleplay ideas.”

“World’s best dad has some fun with his daughter before he gets interrupted, turns out the crime syndicate or whatever has captured daughter number two too. Her name is Jessica and she is some nerd.”

“Unlike Kate, Jessica was not trained as a sex **** so our protagonist is actually unsure as on how to proceed.”

“And when we say unsure we mean not “if”, but “how” to **** daughter two.”

Glad you guys like it, how would you handle the protagonist's dilemma?

“I don’t know, but something about Hvast asking the comment section, “so you are about to **** your own daughter, how would you handle it?” is utterly hilarious to me.”

“Geez, I don’t know, maybe by not **** your FUCKING DAUGHTER!”

“Look, just to be clear, I think we can give Hvast the benefit of the doubt. He probably just worded it a bit poorly.”

“Never give these degenerate fucks anything.”

“Ultimately, our protagonist decides to be even more gentle then with Kate. It is almost heartwarming, if you ignore the whole premise.”

Kissing up to the curve of the jawline, to her mouth you feel annoyed by the obstacle in the form of the red ball. So annoyed that you pause everything just to bring your arms up and remove it.

You got yourself satiated and decide to learn more about the situation, about how your daughter actually feels. You remove Jessica's gag, curious about what will she say.

“Aha! The gag was already removed last chapter! You fucked up Hvast, you stupid fuck! I bet you thought I wouldn’t notice, but I did!”

“Calm down, Gina.”

She may be afraid but not in panc. In fact, you can bet that she is making a plan of hot to escape

“You know, this isn’t the first time this happens, but every now and then writers just get a stroke.”

“Hm yes, Hvast writing, I would say, is usually pretty competent. So stuff like this stands out.”

“Then he ends with teasing lesbian sister ****!”

“So, you are ok with that, Gina?”

“I’m not ok with this. All I’m saying, if you have include your **** bullshit in your story at least make it something that’s actually hot. Like two twin sisters cuddling with each other at night while gently exploring their bodies...”

“hmm…”

“But instead, it’s always some stupid brother sister shit or the gross shit Hvast is pulling.”

How do your handle your the black sheep of Crofts?

“Hurk!”

“You alright there, Marcie?”

“Looking at that line made me physically ill. I haven’t encountered such a linguistic violation since the days of google2020.”

“Finally. I was getting sick of suffering alone.”

“You made a grave mistake for forcing us to read through that final chapter, Hvast!”

“It’s also the very last line we got to read, so good job ending it on a high note, you fuck!”

“Well, Gina. What is your take on this foray in Hvast cinematic universe?”

“It was about as awful as I expected it to be.”

“He really should have included those lesbian scenes in it.”

“Yeah!”

“I personally think the idea of a crimeboss having a bunch of sex slaves he treats well is kinda neat.”

“No shit, you think that. That’s basically you, Marcie.”

“But the **** focus admittedly makes it tough to enjoy. It is not a deal breaker for me...”

“It should.”

“But I rather had it not been there.”

“Awesome, so we both agree this shit sucks?”

“I suppose If I had to put it in such a crude way…”

“That’s good enough for me. Sayonara, you fuckers!”