To the weights room with Keegan

Spotting Keegan in the weights room, you decide to join him for your workout.

“What’s cooking?” you ask, spotting him on the last rep of a bench press.

“Just the usual, hitting up the Big Three today,” he says. “You in?”

“So in,” you reply, sliding onto the bench after he gets up. The two of you lift pretty similar weights, so you don’t even have to re-rack after each set.

“Have I told you about my latest Football Manager save?” he asks. “The World Cup’s wild.”

“Tell me about it,” you say, grunting under your breath as you finish up the third rep.

“Well, first of all, for whatever reason the game decided to host the World Cup in Qatar,” he says.

“Yeah, that would never happen in real life,” you say. “Everybody would be dying of heat stroke on the pitch. Even the keepers.”

“Tell me about it,” Keegan laughs. “But I guess the game doesn’t model the weather, because otherwise the whole thing would be a mess. But I’m half convinced my game’s bugged.”

“What happened?” you ask, finishing up the set.

The two of you move over to the squat rack.

“I don’t know man, Japan beat Germany and then they beat Spain,” he says. “And then Korea beat Portugal and Saudi Arabia beat Argentina and this was just in groups!”

“Dude, your game is definitely bugged,” you say. “Can you think of a single World Cup in real life that’s had anywhere close to this many upsets? What are the odds of that happening?”

“That’s what I’m telling you!” Keegan exclaims, straightening up out of a squat.

You and him switch places, and you begin to lower down into your first squat.

“How’s Australia doing?” you ask. “That’s the team you’re managing, I assume.”

“‘Course it is, mate,” he laughs. “And ‘course I made it out. Damn near beat France out of the group, too.”

“Give me whatever you’re smoking,” you say. “Because that’s some real good shit.”

“Next thing you know, we’re going to kick Argentina’s ass!” Keegan says, sounding convinced as heck.

“Your game’s broken, but it’s not that broken,” you snipe back, finishing up your set.

“Piss off,” Keegan says, ribbing you as he slides under the squat rack.

The two of you banter about Keegan’s totally imaginary world cup games through the workout session, and before you know it, you’ve finished your sets. You rub your arms, feeling the burn, and head back to the locker room to get changed.

Keegan +10