To the Couple Goes the Spoils

Inside the top layer of the twin-mattress-sized box were two thin boxes, one addressed to John, the other to Jenny. Opening the slim packages revealed information tablets, each about the size of a laptop screen. Apparently, the Waites had stockpiled a surprising amount of information on each of them.

Name: John Newman
Sex: Male
Age: 18
Height: 6’0
Weight: (Enter Here)
Mother: Brenda Newman, Mundane
Father: Benjamin Newman, Mundane
Siblings: None
Species: Human
Magical Potential: A+ - S+
Style: Hybrid
Guild Status: Unaffiliated
Sponsor: The Hermit

John entered his weight of two-hundred fifteen pounds and left the other things as they were. He couldn’t edit “Sponsor” or “Magical Potential”, even if he wanted to. “I wonder what magical potential means… how they quantify something like that,” John thought aloud as he peered over at Jenny’s tablet as she entered information onto it.

Name: Jenny Hudson
Sex: Female
Age: 20
Height: 5’9
Weight: 180 lbs.
Mother: Debra Hudson, Late-Bloomer
Father: Shane Hudson, Late-Bloomer
Siblings: None
Species: Human
Magical Potential: B+ - A+
Style: Ranged
Guild Status: Unaffiliated
Sponsor: Temperance

“Your magical potential is higher than mine!?” Jenny asked in surprise, looking over at his information. “You got your powers like a month ago! I’ve had mine for twenty years!”

“Late-bloomers rule!” John exclaimed, pumping his fist into the air. In reality, he didn’t have much of a clue if that had anything to do with it. Both of her parents were late-bloomers, which surprised him. Apparently, she didn’t inherit that trait from them.

Jenny pouted as she slipped her data tablet into her bass case. Wrapping an arm around her waist, John continued on, “Buuut two late-bloomers made you! Which makes you even better!”

“You’re such a dork.” Jenny replied, leaning in to kiss him. “Now let’s get to the actual good stuff!”

Jenny then reached further inside, taking out a heavy box that looked just big enough to be her bass. When she tore it open, a note fluttered to the ground. Though she wanted to play her bass much more than she wanted to read some note, she trusted her better judgement to see what the slimeball had to say. It read:

Mrs. Hudson
This item is bound to someone of your bloodline through a spell that even I can’t break - imagine that. In an attempt to supersede it, I have used one of your hairs (from my own personal collection, mind you) to attempt to rebind it to you instead of that person. It should respond better to you now than it ever has, though I highly doubt you noticed a change in performance depending on the user.
Regards,
Aeschylus

Reading the parenthesis made her skin crawl, and she made a note to wear a hairnet in his presence… something she definitely wouldn’t actually do.

“Return to me!” she yelled, and the bass flew to her immediately, neck first. “Hell yeah!” She slipped a pick from her sleeve and was about to begin playing when Keith grabbed her wrist.

“Not inside,” Keith said as he watched John reach into the box. Tearing open a parcel the size of a breadbox revealed his two guns inside. Keith noticed that the guns John picked out were littered with runes around the muzzle and handle. As John picked the first up, the soft, gentle glow of a divine rune hummed its power throughout the room. He guessed it was the soul-binding enchantment John had described.

John took in the physical appearance of the gun - the silvery white metal that made up the barrel, the dormant runes on the barrel, the wooden finish on the grip, the symbols glowing on the grip. That all faded into the background. The apartment itself smeared and smudged until it was abstract colors. Without command, his hand picked up the other gun. Matte black metal made up the barrel, and the same wooden finish stylized its grip. As John noticed translucent ovals were inset into the grips, looking into them allowed him to see. Like a corrupted film, grains appeared at the edge of his vision until they burned through and grayed him out.

A deep connection formed. John’s mind wouldn’t - couldn’t try to understand it. “This one already has power from a god,” the powerful voice laughed, “with her no less. Yet it still thinks I can contribute? Well, at the risk of messing with her plaything, I’m happy to oblige.” A hand reached into his chest and wrapped around his heart… no, it reached past his heart. It wrapped around something else. It’s grip was cold. Lifeless. Desolate. His mind reeled as he felt eternity.

“Her grip is strong with you. Hopefully she won’t notice a streak of something else.” John felt a perfectly groomed fingernail gently scrape across the… incorporeal absolute the hand had been grabbing. “So full. I have to say I’m a little jealous of her. Then again, it is so rare that she picks. Who am I to covet.” Abruptly it all ended. Two small bands of script identical to the engraving in the grips appeared around his wrists in black, though he didn't notice them. The apartment came back into focus, and John realized that Keith was shaking him.

“You good, Johnny?” Jenny asked; apparently something during his trance actually pulled her away from admiring her repaired bass. “Your eyes kinda got all glowy there. And you looked like you were having a seizure.”

“I’m good. Promise,” John responded, and Keith tentatively let go of his shoulders. It was then that John saw two pop-ups.

You have successfully bound your soul to Ebony and Ivory!

John felt the cool weight of the guns in his hands. They were heavy. Apparently whatever they were made of was incredibly dense. The mystic glow on the grip faded away slowly. He tossed Ivory into the air, and with a mental command, it flew back to him. I wonder if stepping on these and calling them back to me would let me hover on them. That’d be abusing a game mechanic for sure. Saving that test for later, John looked at the other pop-up.

Achievement Unlocked: Lap of the Gods
Form a pact with a God (other than me, though I guess what we have isn’t really a pact). Don’t forget that I have dibs on your soul!

• 25,000 XP
• 1 Skill Evolution Point
• 2 Perk Points

Now those are some rewards! This has to be mid-game content. Seeing her curious look, John slid the pop-up over to Jenny.

“Unfair! You paid to have a god suck you off and you get rewards for paying to have a god suck you off?” Jenny exclaimed, trying to swipe the pop-up away. John closed it for her before sticking his tongue out at her.

Looking back at the guns, John used Advanced Spy on them.

Advanced Spy leveled up!

Woah! That’s way more information than I usually get! All of those line up with the descriptors except for Hidden Potential, I wonder what it does. I guess I should use the tooltips for the others too, since the description should be slightly different than whatever was on the Auction, John thought, feeling the weight of the guns in his hands.

Hell-Forged, Item Quality
This item was imbued with demonic, unholy energy upon creation. As a result, it does triple damage to holy entities such as angels, cherubs, and champions. Beware, as such evil energies may seek to corrupt the user. Due to the unholy power, it can affect intangible holy entities such as spirits. Upon sensing familiarity, it pulses an incomprehensible black in the presence of unholy entities.

Heaven-Forged, Item Quality
This item was imbued with angelic, holy energy upon creation. As a result, it does triple damage to unholy entities such as demons and the undead. Due to the holy power, it can affect intangible unholy entities such as ghosts. Upon sensing familiarity, it glows a majestic white in the presence of holy entities.

Spell-Attuned, Enchantment
Due to runes placed on the inside and outside of this item, spells can be channeled into and through it, using it as a conduit. Spells channeled this way are affected by the other qualities of this item, and their power may be enhanced or diminished.

Runic Bullets, Enchantment
This gun can imbue the bullets it fires with up to three spells (depending on the size of the bullet and charge time). Effects of spells placed upon bullets varies.

Blessing of Orcus, Divine Blessing
This item has been blessed by Orcus, the Roman minor god of ****, related to the main Roman god of ****, Mors. As such, this firearm is now bound to your soul and is indestructible by any means except for reality-overwriting abilities and the will of gods greater than him. Most are.

Soul-Powered, Enchantment
Due to its link to your soul, this item has the unique ability to scale with you, upgrading its power in tandem with your own. You may also spend mana to further enhance this item and its potential for its intended use.

Hidden Potential, Restriction
Due to your low power level in relation to this item, certain features will be locked until you are powerful enough to wield them.

I’m angry that it’s not fully functional but ecstatic that it’s so amazing in this apparently weaker form, John thought, still tossing them idly and recalling them.

“Jenny!” John called out, and when she noticed he was done nerding out, she stopped paying as much attention to her bass… for now.