Time to Swab The Dick

Mark looked down at Sam, her face still showing some annoyance but also anticipation. “So we’re going to take a bath?”

“Yes.” Sam nodded. “You simply getting your dick wet isn’t enough to satisfy my TF. I have to be responsible for it. Based upon how I’m feeling right now, I’m going to have to do it every two or three days.” Sam’s eyes went wide for a moment. “Oh shit.”

“What’s wrong?” Mark asked. Laura also looked on in worry.

“I’m not going to have access to your dick for the second half of the round… Laura, we should talk to Sadie about **** Mary and tying her up as a prisoner. This will give us access to both Mark and Mary the whole round and deprive them of a team member. Also, I just realized Chloe and Hilde will probably be in a bad way because of that.”

Mark said, “No. Sorry, I’m kiboshing that plan.”

Sam looked up at Mark, “I thought you wouldn’t sabotage fair tactics.”

“Look, you get it cleared with Cassandra that if someone is a prisoner, that the person who is supposed to sleep with them still recovers the next day, and doesn’t get punished, then fine. On Merida’s date night last round, she ran away from me. I won’t go into detail why, but Cassandra said that if she wasn’t back with me quickly, she would get a temporary punishment TF. What do you think would happen if she didn’t sleep in the same bed as me instead? If you kidnap Mary and make it so that they can’t spend the night in the same bed—”

~POP~

Cassandra appeared floating in front of them and slowly drifted back so they could keep walking. “I’m not going to be the killer of fun. Sam, your plan is approved. I will rearrange the schedule if someone is a prisoner, and if you actually manage to capture Mary or Mark, the other team won’t be penalized beyond losing access to Mary or Mark.” Cassandra then disappeared just as quickly as she had shown up.

~POP~

Sam smirked, “So, I assume you are okay with that then?”

Mark nodded, “That’s fine. I just wasn’t willing to accept them getting punishment TFs over that strategy.”

“Good,” Sam said with a firm nod. “I want my hoard restored immediately, Mark. I don’t like not having access to it.”

Laura snorted. “Here I thought Allie would be the possessive one.”

“Don’t make me regret saying you could come with us, Laura. Also, Allie is possessive. In case you didn’t know, Mark, she is really only truly accepting of Isabella and myself being with you. She also accepts Talia, but I’m pretty sure that is only because of her TF. I think she mostly tolerates everyone else because of the show. Of course, Laura, if you wanted Allie to accept you and Mark, you could just decide you want to marry him.”

“I’m good. I am nowhere close to deciding that.” The three of them had reached the end of the hall where the bath was supposed to be. The three went inside and found a massive room that had a thin layer of steam permeating it. Laura commented, “I thought this was supposed to be a bath, not a pool?”

Mark started to take off his clothes and hang them to the side, “It is a bath. The water isn’t really all that deep. I haven’t been to any, but according to the media I’ve consumed, this resembles a public bath from Japan.” Mark looked around and scanned the room. “Actually… I’m blanking on which one, but I’m pretty sure that this room is a direct copy from an anime I’ve seen.”

Laura shrugged and entered the water, leaning back so she was up to her shoulders. Mark was about to follow suit, but noticed that while Sam had stripped out of her equipment and clothes, she had wrapped a towel around herself and was pointedly not looking at Mark. Mark asked, “Sam, are you sure you’re up for this?”

Sam shook her head, “No, but I also need to do this. I also want to be with you.” Before Sam could hesitate anymore, she went and got into the bath towel and all. Mark followed in after her. The three of them just relaxed for a few minutes in silence, letting the hot water ease their muscle aches. Sam moved to sit beside Mark, and Laura sat on the other side of Sam. Sam hesitated but slowly reached out to gently stroke Mark’s cock. She paused for a moment and just held it in her hand, then repositioned so she was kneeling facing him and started to use both hands. Laura could see Sam tensing, so she knelt behind Sam and started to massage her shoulders. Sam felt the tension in her body melt as Laura kneaded her upper back. As Laura touched Sam, music played softly in the background. Laura recognized it as Lover by Taylor Swift.

Laura whispered in Sam’s ear. “Whenever this gets to be too much, let me know. I can take over. Also know that nothing is going to happen here that you aren’t okay with. Mark wouldn’t do that, and I think you know that. But even if part of you is afraid of that, I’m telling you that I won’t let that happen. I would stop him if it came to that.”

Sam nodded and muttered a weak, “Thanks.” Sam leaned back into Laura, closing her eyes as she continued to stroke Mark. Sam felt Mark reach out and place a hand on the side of her face, and then his lips caressed hers. It feels wonderful and soft. Laura is hitting all the right spots, and Mark smells phenomenal. It’s nothing like… Sam transformed into a small dragon and, with a small roar, zipped to the side of the room in an instant, causing the water to splash as she went, and the sound of a record scratch echo throughout the bath.

Laura and Mark both looked at each other in alarm. They both stood up and at the same time said, “Let me handle this.” Mark said, “Laura, I know you are trying to help, but I think it would be better in the long run if I do it. I know I have you here if I need help.”

Laura nodded. “Just let me know.” Laura grabbed the towel that Sam had left behind and tossed it to Mark. “Cover up first, though.” Mark wrapped the wet towel around his waist, then waded through the water looking for Sam.

Where is she? Mark was looking around but didn’t see her anywhere. He looked up, checking the ceiling, but couldn’t find her there either. I know I heard splashing. Mark found it hard to see through the steam to see underwater. Eventually, though, he found Sam curled up in a small coil in the corner of the bath. When he got close, he heard a sound that came out through the water as a hissing. Mark stopped approaching and sat down in the water where he was, and just looked at Sam. She’s trembling, and also smaller than I’ve ever seen her like this. Mark’s heart ached for her. “Sam, when you’re ready, I’m here for you.” The hissing sound stopped. It took a few minutes, but Sam swam over and coiled up in Mark’s lap atop the towel. Mark gently laid a hand on top of her head and slowly stroked her scales, trying to soothe her. Mark saw Laura had gotten out of the bath and laid a set of towels at the edge, along with Sam and his clothes. Mark mouthed ‘Thank you,’ and Laura nodded and went to sit on a bench on the other side of the room. “Sam, when you want, Laura brought us dry towels and clothes.” Sam looked up at Mark and then down at the bottom of the bath.

After a few more minutes, she swam over to the side of the bath, got out, and returned to her humanoid form, quickly getting dressed while looking down at the floor. Mark gave her space to get dressed before getting out and getting dressed himself. He sat down next to her, giving her space, but she closed it and leaned her head against him. She muttered. “I’m sorry. I…”

“Sam, you don’t need to apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But… I just ran away. I…”

“Still did nothing wrong. Sam, you are always free to leave any sexual situation with me. There are no exceptions to that. You don’t need to explain or justify why you want to stop. You didn’t lash out and hurt me.”

“But I ruined the moment.” Sam choked out. “It was great, and I ruined it.” Mark wrapped an arm around her.

“Sam, you didn’t ruin anything. I’m glad to hear you were pleased with the situation, though. If you’re up for it, can you tell me why you ran?”

“I had a stupid thought, and then I was back there.” Sam said, looking down at the floor. “I… I just thought that it was nothing like then. Mark, what if I never get over this?”

“Then we’ll deal with it when it arises. It doesn’t mean you’re broken or that we can never be intimate together. Also, unless it’s magicked away, I never expected you to get over your trauma. That isn’t how trauma works.” Sam looked up at Mark, a little confused. “Right, therapy didn’t go well for you. I’ve mentioned I lost my dad to cancer, right?” Sam nodded. “Well, I got really depressed after that, but because of various other things going on in my life at the time, I didn’t really have a chance to properly grieve. A couple of years later, I lost both my dad’s parents, too. They were the only grandparents I really knew. I cried for them, but I broke down for a good long while about losing my dad after that. I started going to therapy, and it helped a lot. But despite it being more than a decade now. I’ve still ended up curling up and crying for hours. When making the guest list for the wedding, I ended up breaking down and crying for the better part of a day because I realized he wouldn’t be there. So I don’t expect it to ever go away completely. But it’s how we deal with things when it surfaces. I’ll be here for you, so will Allie. Honestly, I think everyone in the harem will be there if you need them. Not sure if you noticed, but Laura still hasn’t left.” Mark nodded in Laura’s direction. Sam saw that Laura was very deliberately not looking in their direction, as Laura actually had her eyes closed. “She doesn’t want to leave until she knows you’re alright. Until she knows that there isn’t anything she can do to help. Also, you’ve made great strides already. I noticed a distinct lack of getting kicked in the balls.”

That caused Sam to chuckle. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m upset, though, because I was really enjoying myself.”

“Which is also a sign of progress. You said so yourself that stuff like that was hard, if not impossible, for you before.”

Sam nodded. “Thanks, Mark.” Sam just leaned against Mark for a little longer. “Thank you for not thinking less of me for this.” Sam got up before Mark could respond and went over to Laura, hugged her, and then walked out of the bath.

Mark got up and walked over to Laura. Laura stood up and put a reassuring hand on Mark's shoulder, “Good job. Seriously. That isn’t sarcasm. I think you really made her feel better.”

“Thanks for staying.”

“Of course. That’s what friends do. Also, sorry for overhearing most of that. Sam actually mentioned that she realized I could hear.”

Mark noticed Laura looked a little down herself. “Are you doing okay?”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem like it. You seem troubled. I have a guess as to why, but if you don’t want to talk, I won’t push.” Laura made a consternated expression. “It’s about your own father, isn’t it?”

Laura nodded. “I… I don’t know how to feel. I had put him out of my mind years ago. Then to learn that he knew my mom was pregnant with me and chose to abandon me… It didn’t hurt at the moment, but now… now when I think about it, I’m furious. But I’m also ashamed of what I did to him.” The two of them started to walk through the halls of the palace.

“I’m not going to tell you how to feel towards him or about your actions. I will tell you to focus on it being about you and not him. His other children don’t like him either. Whether you went too far or not is something for you to decide. If you try to correct your mistake, it should be because your morals say you need to. Also, try to focus on the positives; you have siblings. One of which seems to want to know you.”

Laura nodded. “Yeah, she does seem nice. You know holidays are going to be an absolute nightmare for you, right?”

Mark laughed, “I think we’ll manage. We’ll just have to build a dining hall that can accommodate a few hundred people.”

“A few hundred?” Laura asked, a little in disbelief.

“Well, there are currently thirteen of us, plus the rest of the Lundevalls, which brings us to nineteen. If we count parents, I think we get to something like forty. If we include siblings and their partners, we are at something like sixty people so far, that I know of. That doesn’t include any other close relatives people would like to invite. Finally, we have children. That isn’t even mentioning any other people that end up getting added to my harem. So yeah, I could easily see a situation where we invite everyone over for Thanksgiving and would have like a hundred-fifty people to two-hundred-fifty people, if everyone shows up. Plus, if we want regular full family meals, which I would, we will need a space that fits something like fifty to seventy people.”

“You really think you will have that many kids?” Laura asked skeptically.

Mark nodded. “Yeah, probably. It really isn’t even that many with each of you, either. Remember, nineteen between the harem and my staff who will be family since Hilde is part of the harem. At two kids each, that is forty-three people. Also, Aubrey, Hilde, Allie, and you all have TFs that increase your fertility. So two kids each might be a conservative estimate.”

“Hey, just because I have that doesn’t mean I’m going to pump out kids for you.”

“Sure, but I do think eventually we will have a couple of kids of our own. Not to mention your TF affects others. Tell me, how were worship services with Talia?”

Laura blushed at the way Mark phrased that. “Is that really any of your business?”

“Maybe not, but I might remind you that your fluids cause other women to become more fertile. We don’t know if that is permanent or to what degree. So even if you don’t pump out kids, Talia and Ellen might. Regardless of who the mothers are, I’ve accepted that I’m probably going to have thirty or more kids. Probably more.”

“Good foresight on making Talia a billionaire then. It would suck if we ended up destitute after all this because we couldn’t afford you having so many children. Also, I’m still not sure I want kids, given that I might be immortal like you said, and I would outlive them… and you.”

“Well, that is less of an issue now.”

Laura looked confused, “Why? What changed?”

“Well, if you are immortal, you would only outlive those you don’t love. Remember, the upgrade to your youthful vigor literally made me younger. I’m physically as healthy as you are. I’m pretty sure that if you’re immortal, so am I. That would likely extend to any of our kids unless you stop loving them for some reason.”

“Huh… That will be its own can of worms.”

“Oh, trust me, that is going to be the least of our concerns. Have you considered that our children could end up as literal deities or demigods? I know Cassandra mentioned that any daughters I have with the others will end up as animal girls. Even some of my sons will, have animal features too. But did you consider that the same thing might be the case between us?”

“I had not… Are we going to end up being something like the new Greek gods?”

Mark shrugged, “The thought had crossed my mind. When crafting Merida’s kitsune TF, there was talk about divinity. I think Merida might end up joining you as a goddess when she gets all nine tails. Sam might also already be a deity, but we just don’t realize it yet, or an upgrade could easily make her one.”

“Wait, explain about Sam.”

“Well, her TF mentions Ryūjin, who, while a dragon, is also a god. When she got it, Cassandra said what was more like a sea dragon than becoming one. She might have also made Sam share other characteristics with Ryūjin. If not, I wouldn’t be surprised if an upgrade to that TF would result in her becoming a dragon goddess.”

“Speaking of upgrades, have you thought about what Cassandra said? I realize it has only been a couple of hours, but have you considered at all what you might upgrade?”

“A bit, but honestly not much. Mostly eliminating TFs.”

“Well, I think you should select my Amazonian TF either way.”

Mark sighed, “I don’t think you would like that if this team lost, Laura.”

“Why not?”

“Well, what do you think would happen? What portion of being more like an Amazonian do you think you would get? I did mention you were on the upper end of muscular women that I find attractive, so it isn’t that.”

“Hmm, now that you mention it, I can’t really think of anything more for it. I was mostly just thinking about the other two options and thought that one would be best.”

“I can think of something. Do you know the primary reason Amazonian women had sex with men?” Laura shook her head. “Procreation. They would get pregnant and if the child was a girl, keep and raise it themselves, and if it was a boy… Well, the legends vary, but the more charitable ones simply have them returning the son to the father to raise. The point is, you might have realized I have a bit of a breeding fetish.”

Laura burst out laughing. “Just a bit? Mark, you were talking about having more than thirty kids and didn’t even pause, like that wouldn’t be unusual, and simply assumed you would end up having kids with all of us. It is more than just a bit.”

“Fair enough, but the point is: I could see the upgrade to that TF having to do with that. Maybe it makes it so that procreation becomes your primary reason to have sex with me. Maybe it just makes you more fertile, or that any child you have will also be an Amazonian.”

“Okay, you made your case. Not that one. But I only have two other options. One of which already has to do with fertility. So I’m not sure that will be any better.”

“Then buy something.” Mark said as if it were the most obvious solution.

“What?”

“Buy a TF yourself. One you want me to upgrade. If all the options aren’t to your liking, then simply buy a new one.”

“I’m not Talia or you, Mark. I don’t get off on getting changed. The others are right, I’ve gotten really lucky with my TFs. I’ve adapted to my new body, but I’m sure you realize just how odd being so radically different in size and shape is.” Mark nodded with emphatic agreement. “But it is still not something I actively want to inflict on myself. Plus, our stores aren’t like yours. We don’t have a billion different options to sift through.”

“I’m aware of that. Most of the options are past TFs, but there are a few others, too. Still, you could select one of those if you think that would be preferable. Alternatively, just make sure that this me scores higher.” Mark and Laura had been wandering around the palace as they talked and came upon Ethel, Sadie, and a moose. They approached and greeted each other. Then Mark asked, “So what is up with the moose?”

Sadie said, “She’s my companion. Her name is… well, rather long and complicated, but she answers to Bertha. She will be traveling together with us.”

Laura held up a hand. “Wait, Bertha here is going to what? Fight with us?”

Sadie wobbled her hand. “Sort of. She isn’t going to charge our enemies, more like Bertha here has—” Bertha made a deep guttural sound. Sadie turned around and frowned at Bertha. “That’s rather rude…” Bertha snorted. “No, I don’t care. You should apologize.” Bertha grunted and rolled her eyes, which was likely one of the strangest things Mark or Laura had ever seen.

Laura asked Ethel, “Has Sadie gone insane?”

Ethel chuckled, “Not at all. Sadie and I went out into the nearby woods to look for some companions for her. Bertha here took a liking to Sadie and has decided that Sadie is clearly in need of direction and protection. So Bertha has graciously adopted Sadie. Sadie is rather lucky.”

Sadie grumbled. “I wouldn’t call it lucky.” Bertha nudged the back of Sadie’s head with her snout. “Hey, quit that. In any case, Bertha here is more of a guardian and guide than a fighter.”

Ethel added, “She’s also graciously permitted Sadie and me to ride her during our travels. Isn’t that just the best? Also, doesn’t Bertha look absolutely majestic? We were about to go get Bertha fitted with a saddle. Would you two like to join us? Actually, what are you two doing? Did you end your training early? Oh! I’m so sorry!… I… I mean, we didn’t mean to interrupt you two having some quality time together. The three of us will get out of your hair.” Ethel was blushing.

Laura jumped in to help Ethel, “It’s fine, Ethel. I’m sure Mark here would LOVE to go with you and Bertha to get her fitted for a saddle. I would actually like to borrow Sadie for a little bit, if that isn’t a bother.”

Mark glared daggers at Laura for throwing him under the bus of constant chatter that was Ethel. Ethel responded. “Really?! Excellent! Mark, follow me. Bertha, come along. Mark, here is the partner I was telling you about.” Ethel slid an arm around Mark’s arm and led him off to the stables with Bertha. “Now, let me tell you about the different types of saddles, Mark. I’m sure we can find the perfect one for Bertha together.” Bertha made a snort that Mark swore was a chuckle as the three walked away.

Sadie looked at Laura. “So… I guess you want to chat about Chloe.” Laura nodded. “I already told Mark my side of things. I don’t know if he believes me or not. I think he at least believes I’m not intentionally lying.” Sadie sighed. “Which I guess is something at least.”

Laura gestured for Sadie to walk with her and asked, “What is your side of the story?”

“I won’t lie, I don’t like Chloe, but I feel like that’s justified given everything she’s done to me.” Sadie launched into the same explanation that she gave Mark. Laura wordlessly listened as Sadie explained her view of things.

When Sadie finished, Laura said, “I’ll be honest, if I hadn’t seen an alternate reality almost identical to this one, save for a few very minor details, leading to you and Chloe both ending up in a relationship with Mark and me, I would call bullshit that Chloe would tell you it was okay to ask out Mark. But I did see that, so I won’t write it off as impossible. Still, something seems weird here.”

Sadie shrugged, “Honestly, at this point, I wish I hadn’t asked out Mark at all. My life would have been so much easier without this stuff with Chloe. Maybe I wouldn’t be here either.”

Laura shook her head. “Your life might have been better, but you would still probably be here. We’ve all talked about this amongst ourselves. We’ve thought, ‘What if I hadn’t screwed things up with Mark in the past?’ Here’s the thing: the only way you might not be here is if you were in a happy relationship with someone else. After all, it didn’t protect Allie that she had a good relationship with Mark. It also didn’t protect Ellen that the two of them had literally never met before. So don’t dwell on the what-ifs.”

Sadie nodded. “So…” Sadie gave Laura an appraising look. “We occasionally end up dating in alternate realities?”

“Yes. Also, that isn’t happening in this one. At least not until this mess with Chloe is completely resolved. Chloe and Aubrey are good friends of mine. They both hate your guts right now. Not to mention, I have two girlfriends at the moment. I don’t need things to get more complicated right now.”

“Two, not three? And no boyfriend?”

Laura blushed, “Mark and I… haven’t… I haven’t asked for anything formal with him yet, okay? But yeah, Talia and Ellen have officially agreed to be my girlfriends. I assume Mary was the third you were thinking of?”

Sadie nodded. “Yeah. Still surprised you are actually dating anyone.”

“Because I was the campus slut?”

“I would never call you that! But... yes, your reputation for only casual sex in college did color my impression of you.”

“It wasn’t just in college. I also don’t blame you. I’m a little surprised myself. Sadie, I hope you realize that if any part of what you told me about your side of things was a lie, not simply wrong, you are fucked right?”

“I do. I told Mark pretty much the same thing. That: it would be stupid to lie about my story, given the situation. It’s why I didn’t lie, try to sugarcoat, or omit anything from my story either. I’m willing to own up to what I did. I’m not proud of letting it get out of hand, but I view it as primarily Chloe’s fault. I asked if it would be okay to ask Mark out, and she gave permission. Then, when I did, she decided to mess with me. When I asked why, she said I should know, and when I said I didn’t, she just shouted, 'unbelievable' and stormed off.”

“You do know that both Mark and I are going to ask Chloe if she gave you permission and get her to promise that she isn’t lying about it.”

“And what? She says I promise, and you will just believe her?”

“I thought Talia went over our TFs with you.”

“She did, but there were a lot of them, and it was rather rushed. It isn’t like I was given a handy list to reference. I vaguely remember she has something about deals.”

“Yeah, she has to keep promises. So if Chloe says something like, ‘I promise to answer your questions truthfully and completely for the next hour,’ and then we ask if she gave you permission, and she says no, we will know that she isn’t lying.”

“Okay, but that doesn’t mean she’s correct either.” Laura raised an eyebrow at Sadie. “You just said she has to keep her promises. It isn’t lying to state what she believes to be the truth. But just because she believes it doesn’t make it true. So please don’t just assume I’m lying if you do that with her. I’m not saying not to have her do that, just realize the limitations of your method.”

“You seem defensive about that.”

“Wouldn’t you be? My entire life essentially hangs on being believed about this. I have to point out the flaws in your method before you use it, or else it will seem like I’m grasping at straws. Right now, maybe Chloe will tell you what I told you. Maybe she doesn’t remember and will tell you that she didn’t. I don’t know. I do know that I’m not lying, though.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Now I wanted to run something Sam brought up past you. Sam wants to find the other team and kidnap Mary. It would harm Mary’s progress and, therefore, result in our upgrades being better. It would deny them a team member, which should help us win the overall quest. Finally, it will put a few of their team members in awkward spots with their TFs, as they won’t have access to Mary or Mark to satisfy them.”

Sadie bobbed her head side to side. “I mean, that seems like a decent idea. I just have one worry. Could we even hold on to them? We would essentially need a dedicated guard; otherwise, wouldn’t Flora just walk right in? I don’t want to give Flora that idea because, honestly, it is terrifying.”

“Well, sure, she might be able to walk in, but it isn’t like Mary would be able to simply walk out.”

“Doesn’t matter. Flora could incapacitate our entire team by herself, unless Cassandra steps in and limits her TF. Laura, what are you going to do when you start randomly building up Horny Points and can’t locate the source because Flora is using her boon?”

“She can’t use it forever.”

“Yes, she can. That is something I remember Talia telling me. Mark upgraded it as a reward for something. She could simply walk in here and keep shooting us until we are all incapacitated, tie us all up, and just shoot us back to incapacitation every day for the whole LARP.”

~POP~

Cassandra sighed, “Okay, seriously, what is it with you all and trying to break the spirit of the game? I will step in if someone starts breaking the game like you described. That goes for both sides, and I will send out a message this evening. I do expect your TFs to matter, though, so I’m not just going to cut it off completely.” Cassandra just shook her head in exasperation and vanished.

~POP~

Sadie blinked a few times, “Well, I guess we can try it then. Might be fun. Care to join me in finding a saddle for Bertha?”

“I’m good. Ethel is a bit much for me.”

“She’s really nice once you get to know her. Yeah, she talks a lot, but it isn’t useless drivel, just very detailed information.”

Laura just shrugged, “If you say so. Have fun.” Laura waved goodbye and went back to the training yard while Sadie went to join Mark, Ethel, and Bertha.