Thoughts and fears.

They renewed their journey, tied up behind their cart were a string of horses with the bandits that remained alive secured to them, many bandaged and bleeding.

In the back of the cart. Darya sat bandaging Aarni’s bleeding feet.

“I’ve never killed a man before.” Aarni’s adrenaline had worn off, and his brain was starting to process the events. “I’ve never been in a real fight before. . . There was so much blood.”

“You did what you had to do Aarni, you fought well, you saved us.”

Aarni started crying again, hot, angry tears. “I almost got you killed.” He was furious with himself. Losing sight of the tactical priority in the middle of a fight, Akim would scold him, make him write the priority lists a hundred times. He looked at Darya, tactical priority didn’t begin to cover it.

“If he had. . . If I had lost you Darya.”

“I’m okay Aarni, I’m safe.”

“I can’t lose you.”

Darya looked confused.

Aarni was surprised himself how attached he had become to Darya. They had been together for a day, and yet she felt like the only thing in the world that mattered. The only thing he had. . .

The realization hit him hard. He had lost his home, his place in the palace, his family, his daily training, his future, he had lost everything. Now he had Darya, and at this moment, she was all he had in this world. He held her, touched her hair, kissed her arm. He didn’t know what he felt about Darya other than right now, she was the only thing that felt solid.

The cart came to a stop.

“Darya, come up and drive.”

“But Aarni. . .”

“I will talk to prince, you will drive.”

“But Ania”

“No but Ania, you drive now, I take care of prince.”

Darya hesitated, then kissed Aarni on his temples, said “I’ll just be up front,” and left the cart.

Soon they were moving again.

“You have been through a lot young prince, taken from your home, from everything you knew, no longer a boy in the castle. Now you are a man who has lost, fought, taken life.”

“I failed, I nearly got Darya killed.”

“That is true.”

Aarni had expected her to disagree, try to comfort her like Darya did.

“But the man who has never fallen short is a man who cannot be great. You will learn from this, you will grow.”

Somehow Ania’s words helped him. He had failed, but Darya was alive. He would make sure next time he did better.

“Now we must talk about Darya.”

Aarni knew he was too attached to Darya, but he understood why, she was something reliable at a time when there weren’t many things he could say that about. It was obvious how much she cared about him, and he really needed that right now. Not to mention he found her irresistibly sexy and they had great chemistry no matter what they were doing.

“When Darya becomes an Acolyte, she will be responsible for a very important part of the worship at the temple. She will not have romantic attachments; she will have to let you go.” Aarni didn’t know that, didn’t know much at all about what Disciples and Acolytes do, and he really didn’t care. He’d find a way to see Darya.

“Darya knows this, she cares about you but when she enters the temple, your relationship will change. You need to know this, and you need to accept it. She will not be betraying you or abandoning you, she will be doing what she took this trip to do, what she has promised the goddess.”

Ania’s face got very serious, almost threatening.

“Do not make her choose between you and the goddess, you will not like the result.”

He had a feeling her warning had less to do with what Darya would choose, but what Ania would do if he put Darya in that position. He nodded. “What am I going to do? I’ve got nowhere to go, I’ve got no one. . .”

“What did Andor do when he was exiled to the mountains? What did Sune the pillar do when Aggador came for him?”

It felt unfair for her to bring his ancestors into this, but she was right. He had studied Andor’s mountain campaign, 4 years with a small band of loyal warriors, keeping the line of kings alive, protecting the artifacts of the goddess against overwhelming odds. And Sune the pillar, retreating into the great passage, fighting a vastly superior army for a year, never leaving the front.

“They stood firm.” He said, feeling inadequate to his own legacy.

“No. They trusted those that loved them, they had faith in their friends and in the people. You do not have your castle, your mentors, your wealth or pampered life that came with it, but there are still people loyal to you, people who care about you, people willing to risk the wrath of the King and Aggador to protect you.” She reached out to him, held his face and brought it close to her own.

“You are not alone son of Astra, find your strength and live to build a better day.”

Ania climbed out of the cart, went to the front and left him alone with his thoughts.