There's no place like home

Mysterious voices continue to whisper advice from beyond the veil - whether they are real or a manifestation of your crumbling sense of self outside the safe haven of Blowjob Universe is unclear but, looking down at your fingertips starting to fade, you have no choice but to trust them.

Following their advice, you focus on all your prior exploits; the throats you’ve ravaged, sloppy submissive blowjobs you’ve received, and all the women in the world at your personal disposal, and you start to feel more grounded. Your hands stop fading and Hazel’s hair feels more real in your grip as you instinctively push her down into a kneeling position.

“Right here, sir? Right out in the open?” She asks, surprised but willing. “Wow, being a big shot business person is like, crazy!”

You keep your eyes closed, trying not to think about the tentacled demon dicks wriggling towards you. Instead, you focus on the feeling of a teenager's mouth suckling on the head of your cock and the tongue swirling and lapping, once again coating your shaft in drool.

She pulls away from your cock for a moment with a wet pop to ask, “What’s an Able Master?”

You realise you’ve been muttering to yourself - the running theory is that if you can draw on enough of your residual BJU powers, you can call for aid from a certain ever-helpful deus equine machina.

You hear the faintest of whinnies in the back of your mind. “Come on, Able mate. Don’t fail me now. I need to get the hell out of here.”

You think about your step-mom strip teasing for you, your sisters throats bulging with their brother’s cock, busty black police officers offering up their heaving busoms just for you, evil witches getting defeated by the power of cock, mind-fucked lab technicians tapping out as you pump gallons of semen into their stomach and a thousand and one other oral conquests. With every passing thought you hear the clopping of hooves getting closer.

Hazel is obviously still confused as you babble on about dominating the multiverse, but does as she’s bid by implication of your hand remaining on her head, and suckles you as you start thrusting deeper.

You hear footsteps, closer and more real than the echos in your mind, and then are abruptly interrupted by the sound of Kristi running up to you, panting and hopping over a demon dick to slide to a halt at her sister’s side.

“Kristi! What are you doing? How did you even find me? I told you, I don’t need you looking after me any more!”

“I used mom’s phone, she still has that family tracker app installed.” Kristi pants. A slimy black demonic dick writhes toward her and wraps itself around one of her high heels. She doesn’t notice… yet. “Thank god your GPS was turned on and you grabbed your phone before being dragged out the house.”

“Ugggghhhh,” Hazel groans, tilting her head back and rolling her eyes. “Just go home, Kristi!”

“Actually Hazel, maybe she should stay. Kristi, think you can do something about those things whilst I get us out of here?”

You point at the nightmarish phalluses all converging on Kristi, but she just looks around, just as confused as Hazel.

“David, I don’t know what you're seeing, but this is the space outside BJU. Did you somehow create something out here? You’ve barely any residual Blowjob powers left! It won't be stable! You need to get back to… wait, what was that? Something just crawled up my leg!”

“Yeah. Those things. Keep them busy, would you?” You close your eyes again and think even harder about all the bitches you’re going to skullfuck once you get back home.

Taking the advice from another mystery voice, you tap your cock against Hazel’s tonsils and think of home. Wet squelches signal your cock’s passage in and out of Hazel’s throat, her soft gagging the perfect background noise to fantasies of a million scantily clad cheerleaders (and their mothers, and female teachers) all lining up to worship you on their knees.

“There’s no place like home!”

*gaaack*

“There’s no place like home!”

*Gluk glukk glurrkk!*

“There’s no place like-”

“This ain't the Wizard of Oz, you daft twat.” You open your eyes to the sight of a large white stallion with glimmering mane looking at you in disapproval. “What are you doing all the way out here, buddy? In fact, how did you even get here?”

“Is that a TALKING HORSE?!” Hazel exclaims, wide eyed and wiping spittle from her lips.

You shush her and address your saviour. “Exit sign, not my fault. Blame Krisi. No time to explain. Can you get us out of here?”

“Yeah, no problem.” Able looks at Kristi, now suspended in the air by a mass of tentacle dicks, stuffed full in all three holes, flailing and gurgling with bulging eyes. “Er… what’s going on over there? She learned to fly or something?”

You realise it’s still only you that can see the demonic dicks - definitely a physical manifestation of your subconscious in this bizarre liminal space, then. It would explain why they’re all attacking Kristi, but leaving Hazel alone. Bitch should have done her job properly when she had the chance.

“Meh. Leave her be. She can find her own way back when she’s done dicking around.” You hoist yourself up onto Able’s back as he kneels down.

“Woah! Dude! Get some pants on first! I don’t want your saggy ballsack on my back! No homo! No homo!”

After re-dressing and only falling off Able 3 times, you finally manage to climb atop him sideways and, like a knight in shining armour atop your gallant steed, offer your hand to the princess - if that princess happened to be a horny slut wearing high heels and a pornstar quality schoolgirl costume.

Hazel hops up onto Able with considerably more grace. He voices no objections to her red thong squeezed between the pussy lips resting on his back, you note. She wraps her arms around you and pushes her tits into your back as Able starts trotting back to the comforting embrace of the reality where you can get blowjobs from any woman in the world with zero repercussions and no demonic tentacles trying to give you nightmares.

The wind whips through your hair as Hazel nuzzles her head into your shoulder. Behind you, the gurgles and splattering of Kristi getting her guts rearranged and skewered all the way through ass-to-mouth fade into the distance. You only fall off Able Master two more times on the way back.

With a neigh and a flash of light, the weird liminal space is replaced by an employee lounge, all sterile neutral wallpaper and musty furniture. A vending machine much like the one behind Kristi’s office sits in the corner. A couple of women in similar flight attendant-esque outfits to Krisit sit eating snacks at a table. One of them looks up and says hi to Able Master before going back to their staff lunch.

You slide off Able’s back and land on the old, beige carpet with a thud. Holding your hands above you, staring up at the ceiling fan lazily turning, you clench your hands and look at your palms. All there, solid. You crane your head down and peek under your pants. Hell yeah, Giant cock. Everything is back to normal.

“I’m not going to ask what the hell you were thinking wandering around outside BJU Dave,” Able says, “but I’m guessing the hot piece of ass on my back has something to do with it?”

Hazel leans over and looks her mount in the face. “How can you talk?”

The two girls eating lunch look up at that. “New girl?” one of them says, eyebrow raised. “I thought this univserse was fully populated?"

“Yeah, new recruit. Taking over for Kristi,” you reply.

“Huh. Well, I’m almost done, want me to take you over to HR, get you processed and started on re-education?”

Hazel jumps down from Able, the talking horse completely forgotten as the promise of an exciting new job prospect is presented to her. She’s led off by one of the other BJU office workers, turning as she goes to grin, wave goodbye, and flip up her skirt to flash her little ass cheeks at you as she turns the corner out of view with a giggle.

“Damn, David, nice catch,” Able whinnies. “Alright bud, I got to go. Things to do, carrots to eat.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks again,” you reply, scratching your nuts and wondering if you should stick around for Hazel to finish her training or go find a throat to fuck and come back later. You still want access to all those toys under Kristi’s desk. Maybe you should go find someone in HR or QA.

“You fucking ASSHOLE!” Kristi stumbles into the room, covered in black goop. “You left me out there with… whatever those things were. Jesus fuck, this stuff reeks!”

She wipes her face, but only succeeds in smearing more of the slime into her mouth. She lets out a wet belch, and coughs up a wad of slime that drops onto her bulging belly, filled to the brim with fuck-knows-what. She’s so stuffed with cum that she looks like she’s carrying twins *p-too!* “Ugh, gross. I need a shower.”

“Don’t suppose you want to give me access to those portals now?” you ask.

Kristi’s response is to flip you the bird before doubling over and throwing up. Eh, it was worth a shot. You make yourself scarce before the smell causes you to join in. It doesn't matter, you'll soon have Hazel working on the inside, she'll help you out, you're sure of it. And then... actaully, why did you want those portals? You kind of forgot, but what's important is that you are David, and this is your Blowjob Universe, and you always get what you want.