There's been a mistake...

You couldn't believe what you were reading. This had to be some joke, there was no other reason for it. Most of all, you were straight! You were married and you and your wife had recently been trying for a kid. You reread over the note, amused by what had been written, as you walked to the kitchen to get some coffee. Discarding the note onto the table, you made your coffee and walked to your office.

Because of the state of the world, you were to work from home. Your day largely consisted of Zoom calls and emails. When you weren't to contact someone, you usually did housework for your wife, Jane. She worked as a nurse and had been pretty stressed for the past few months. Least of all, your attempt to conceive a child hadn't been successful yet.

Jane had gotten to the point where she withheld sex until she was ovulating and ordered you to not even touch yourself in the time inbetween. At first, it wasn't that bad. Now, though, working from home and having a lot of spare time, you struggled. Anytime you did try to run a sneaky one out, Jane seemed to know and would berate you. You understood it was because she was stressed, but it was getting hard (quite literally). You'd bought a home gym set to at least get into better shape, but on especially mind numbing days, you really just wanted to have a quick jerk session.

Your day flew by pretty quickly, one Zoom meeting and then a list of emails you had to send out. By the time you got a break, it was noon. You decided to go and make lunch, opting to eat and then clean up the kitchen afterwards before you returned to work. Just as you opened the fridge, your phone rang, showing Jane on the screen.

"Hey babe."

"Hi, honey. How are you?"

"Just making my lunch now, how about you?"

"Not too bad actually, today's been pretty quiet compared to the past few weeks. I know that's the MacBeth of hospitals but it's actually true today."

"Well as long as you don't jinx yourself."

"Hopefully not. Hey, when you have any free time later today, can you go to the shop to get a few things?"

"Yeah sure, what do you need?"

You grabbed the first bit of paper, the note from this morning, to write out a list. Grabbing a pen, you listened to what she wanted.