The second issue you have is when you get to your new residence

Turns out that this 'Oxford' place is a university. An impressive one, too - you can feel the history behind the place. The apartment you're staying at is pretty nice, there's scenic areas around the place, and the streets are filled with young people, so everything should be okay, right?

Well, most of those young people are male. You see women around, occasionally, but they're different. Ethiopian, Indian, Chinese - everything but white British bitches.

You pass a student, off by himself, who looks approachable enough to talk to. "Yo, where the white women at?" you call out. Kids these days still know that reference, right? You're not sure.

The kid looks confused and a little scared of human interaction, so you clarify, "British chicks, dude. Where are the British chicks?"

"Ah, well, you see, British girls would never be able to get into Oxford," he says, emphasizing the name of the university as if it's impressive or something, "Students have to be real people, not furniture. So all of the girls here are foreign."

"Oh", you say, and the disappointment in your voice must have hurt the poor kid, because he continues trying to help you.

"There's a couple of pubs in town that have British girls as part of the entertainment, though! You can check those, and maybe see how they found them."

You smile and nod, and walk off. A pub, huh? You'll be happy to check that out.