Turns out the pub had nothing

There were, in fact, no British girls at the pub you went to. Absolutely none at all. Unbelievably disappointing.

There was a French history student there with her boyfriend and his lover, and while those two were making out at the bar she started chatting with you. Not in a sexy way, just in a 'I obviously want to masturbate but can't because I'm in public' way. You've seen it several times, with several ethnicities.

"Well, you see, when the EU was formed it meant that there were a lot of half-breeds. Especially in the UK -" She pronounces it eau-kay. Silly Frenchwoman, not having been born in a country that used proper English accents, "- since it's the major financial center, and had immigration from the Commonwealth. But most guys are looking for something in particular, right? So the EU has some regulations making it mandatory for ethnicity to be tracked by officials, and you can ask those officials to find you a girl with the kind of ethnicity you're looking for, even if GDPR means you can't use an app to check girls passing you on the street. I don't think those offices have been shut down in the UK yet."

You'd tuned out of the entire rest of this conversation, because you're American, and that means you don't need to actually know the history of an island as boring as Europe. But that last bit catches your attention. "I can track down any ethnicity I want? How?"

She gives you an address. Tomorrow morning, she says, they'll be open, and you can ask them about anything you want.

Yes, tomorrow, you'll finally have the chance to track down your perfect English rose.