The school nurse, Mrs. Pill

"I want a tape of you having sex with Mrs. Pill."

Your jaw about falls off your head. "Are you fucking crazy?" you shout at her. "You're crazy! What the fuck? I can't fuck the school nurse!"

"Why not?" Ariel asks with her maddening nonchalance. "Everyone says she's a total nympho, and I think she's definitely your type."

"You can't be serious," Rebecca says. You're painfully aware that even though you were both just caught having sex on tape, at least _she's _been able to get dressed. You lunge once more for your clothes, and Ariel laughs as she sidesteps you again.

"I'm serious all right," Ariel says. "Get me a video of Mrs. Pill. Blowjob, handjob, full on sex. Hell, I'd even take seeing her naked. But you find a way, or a month from now, I'm going to leak your leaky dick." The strange girl throws your clothes at you, and you hastily pull on your underwear. "You two know where to find me!" she chuckles as she stalks away from you and Rebecca.

"Well, shit," Rebecca says.

"Yep," you agree.

"What the fuck do we do?"

You think hard about the situation you're in. "Well, obviously, we can do nothing," you say, "but I think Ariel is crazy enough to actually spread that tape around."

"So do I," Rebecca says. "So that's not acceptable."

"We could try to threaten her."

"Or **** her."

"Interesting," you say. "Turn the tables? Maybe show her some of the footage we have of her?"

"Maybe," Rebecca says. "Though knowing her, she wouldn't be embarrassed, and she'd only make you look like a creep." A little close to home, dear....

"OK, OK," you say quickly. "Um, we could confess to the principal. Tell her the situation and get her to intervene."

"Yeah, maybe," Rebecca says. "But aside from being totally humiliating, there's no guarantee that that would work. I mean what could Dr. Clarke do about Ariel, really?"

"Shit, good point."

"You know," Rebecca ventures. "There is another option."

You're not sure whether to feel excitement or dread about what she's about to say. "Yeah?" you ask plainly.

"We just do what she wants."

"Yeah..." you say. "Maybe... Let's talk about it."

You take Rebecca's hand, thrilled to be holding hands with your crush, and walk out of the school. But even though there's still a lot to consider, you already know what you're going to do. You're going to fuck the school nurse, Rachel's mom. And you're going to share a sextape with a nerdy cheerleader and her AV club groupies.

Fuck.