The root pack

“Remember when I commented last time that there is a new villain to pick, Gina?”

“Yes, but that was a different fucker. Don’t tell me someone else actually added to dickgirl guys sausage fest.”

“Well...kinda, that particular author contributed a single chapter and then Zeebop obsessive compulsion took over and he continued from there.”

“Wow.”

“Bottom line, Zeebop has asked us to review this fresh new branch of his that features Poison Ivy and that what we are going to do.”

“Ok.”

“Wait what?”

“What?”

“I was expecting the usual song and dance. You know, you whining about it, I making some hilarious jokes and then we top it off with my brilliant taste in background music.”

“Geez, Marcie! Maybe I just don’t want to do the same thing over and over again.”

“...do you actually like Poison Ivy?”

“What? No! Why would I like some stupid plant lady!”

“Hehehe”

“Shut up and start already!”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“This story starts us off like every other branch with Lois at the bar. This time however she gets invited to a jolly round of Beer Pong.”

So for the first time in her life she experienced the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of beer pong.

“Thrilling. The two goons Jorge and Marc…”

“I wonder if they are a reference to Joe and Mac…”

“I don’t care. They make a bet out of it. Losers become the winners **** for the evening.”

“You would think this would develop the usual way with Lois losing. But no, In a surprising turn of events Lois actually wins the game and now has two slaves who have to do everything she says, no matter how humiliating and degrading.”

“You are getting way too excited about this, Marcie.”

“So, Lois orders her two slaves to carry her and her pong partner into a private room and…”

“and…?

“...orders them to answer some questions in regards to the ****.”

“Wow, Marcie just deflated completely!”

“Can you blame me, Gina? Lois can **** them to do whatever she wants! At least make them to the chicken dance naked while answering questions!”

“Lois is a nice girl, unlike you.”

“sigh Well, not that it matters anyway, because the branch ends here. We haven’t reached ten chapters yet, so lets backtrack and pick the other option in which the group plays Batavian downs.”

She'd been enamored by the idea of ****, the tastes and flavors. conducted mine-sweeping operations of half-finished drinks at parties, stood upside down with a beer bong, beaten the pants—literally—off of a sorority in a game of strip beer-pong.

“That sounds way hotter. Why can’t dickgirl guy write a story about Lois playing strip games with a bunch of hot college girls instead of these two dudebros?”

“Because Zeebop can’t write something that doesn’t involve body alteration.”

“...huh, yeah I call him dickgirl guy all this time, but he is really more a fucked up transformation guy...eh, just doesn’t have the same ring to it.”

“Getting back on track, Lois wins again.”

“Great variety you got there, dickgirl-guy.”

“But this time, the goons are less willing to admit defeat. They capture Lois and bring her to Poison Ivy who….ehehehe…oh my.”

“Ugh.”

“...inserts a body control potato inside her vagina!”

“Cheese might be the most unsexy food but Potato is a close second!”

“Our listeners might not be aware of this, but I have quite the fondness for body control.”

“Geez, Marcie, you don’t say.”

“I must say, I am rather looking forward to what Zeebop will do with the concept. Which is why I am saying this just as I am about to read the next chapter in which GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!”

It might have been a pretty face, once. There were wisps of fine blonde hair still, now dirty and unkempt...but the face and body were lumpy, deformed. One small breast was pert and perfect, the other was swollen, sagging, graying, and with a distinctly bumpy and hard appearance, the nipple replaced by a sunken dark eye...and the reporter barely held in her scream as she recognized the smell that hovered around this being like an aura.

It was the rank smell of a potato that has gone bad.

“Zombie Potato girls are attacking the lab.”

“M-my body control…”

“Now, usually I would complain about the absolute disgusting nature of, you know, FUCKING ZOMBIE POTATO GIRLS but just this once I led it slide because of how absolutely pissed off Marcie is right now!”

“I am not advocating for the euthanization of Zeebop, but I think we can all agree that he mustn’t be allowed to breed.”

The potato! Lois realized, as the fingers hit the mass of the control-spud jammed in her cunny, pushing it painfully inside of her. They can sense the potato!

“You know, Marcie. Sometimes I wonder if Zeebop just has a fucked up understanding of what sex is and mistakes vomiting for cumming.”

“Haa...well this is where the branch stops, so I guess I will not get any fudging body control! Fine! I didn’t want it anyway! Lets go back.”

“I’m noticing a trend here.”

“I let you do the summary for the next branch, Gina. I need to collect myself for a bit.”

“Yeah, so Lois is back in the bar gets kidnapped again. This time Ivy wants to turn her into a plant, bunch of non sexy sex happens, blablabla...I hope dickgirl files for bankruptcy because we reached Chapter Eleven and are done!”

“Well, technically...”

“WHAT!”

“This branch starts at chapter three. So..we still haven’t reached 10 chapters deep.”

“Uh, ok Marcie, but I’m pretty sure we picked every single branch in this fucking vegetable garden.”

“That is strange...Zeebop assured me that this branch would reach 20 chapters deep.”

“Well too bad, guess he can’t count. Anyways we’re done.”

“I mean it’s not like...oh.”

“What do you mean, oh? Don’t you fucking oh me like this, Marcie!”

“I just checked Zeebop’s submission again and it looks like we might have started with the wrong branch.”

“…”

“So...we kinda have to start over. Hehe, whoops.”

“MARCIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!”

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

“And we are back. With the proper branch Zeebop asked us to review.”

“I am doing the choices this time around, Marcie. Maybe that way we actually are done with this before next year.”

“Well, next year is in a few weeks, so...”

“So, this time Lois goes dancing and Ivy joins her. She starts feeling her up. I picked the boob option because I like to take things slow.”

“Hmm...this is actually quite nice. A bit of a low tension erotic scene. I like it when Zeebop puts them in.”

“Yeah well, too fucking bad because the fucking branch stops again! Fine, just shove it down Lois pants because that’s clearly all everyone cares about!”

“Unfortunately for Lois, Ivy is a villain.She uses **** to take control over her body and forces her to humiliate herself.”

“Well, Marcie, looks like you got your fucking body control after all. Hope your happy.”

“Hmm...it is pretty erotic..I guess…”

“What?”

“Where is the love? Where is the playfulness? Yes, she makes Lois strip and has her eat her out in a full club but it is all so conformist and gauche. There is an art to body control, Gina. It needs to come with a certain je ne sais quoi ironic cruelty. Like forcing someone to dance against their will, the ultimate expression of freedom, twisted.”

“Holy fuck, Marcie. That might just be the most pretentious thing you ever said and that’s saying something.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t understand, Gina. You have a clever brain in that cute little forehead of yours. But when it comes to topics of higher philosophy you are hopelessly lost.”

“I don’t have a forehead!”

“Well, what did you think of the scene? If nothing else, it did feature a decent amount of lesbian action.”

“I was on board with it until the fixation on ass licking. What’s Zeebop obsession on that anyways? Feels like all Lois and Blaze got up to in their fuck reviews is butt stuff. For someone who claims to hate Scat, there sure is a lot of that shit.”

“I understand that it is viewed as the ultimate degradation. But I prefer a more creative approach.”

“Of course you do.”

“Well, luckily for Lois, Batgirl and Supergirl are here to safe the day.”

“Which means Ivy continued the trend of these villains all being fucking awful at their job.”

The alphabet trick! Lois realized. The tongue was tracing the shape of letters. Now that her rational mind was riding atop the wave of lust, Lois could recognize that...and more, the message that Batgirl was seeking to convey.

“Nobody should say I wouldn’t give credit where it is due. Sending a message via spelling out letters inside a vagina was pretty ingenious.”

“I hate that stupid alphabet shit.”

“If I remember correctly, Lois and Blaze **** you to do the same thing, Gina? You know, when they plucked your vagina?”

“SHUT UP!”

“Well, at this point there was really little Ivy could do. After receiving a quite colorfully described anal orgasm Batgirl punched her ****.”

“Oh, come on! No **** ****? At least give her a spanking!”

“I thought you liked, Poison Ivy, Gina.”

“Not this one, I don’t. She didn’t even use her vines! Like what the fuck! Poison Ivy is supposed to be this beautiful mature killer queen who has a soft spot for Harley and makes sure she’s safe! Also where is Harley? You can’t just have Poison Ivy as a villain and not have Harley! I watched youtube clips of the show! And Zeebop has ruined it!”

“Well, the day is saved. Lois and the two superheroes retire back to her apartment for a threesome. Then the three become girlfriends.”

“The end! Ugh, finally!”

“Pretty rude words for a story that got you off, Gina.”

“Ey!”

“Yes, congratulations are in order, for Zeebop finally managed to cajole an orgasm out of Gina. Would you like to tell us what did it?”

“No.”

“Well, too bad, because you are going to do it anyways.”

“Grrr, I guess the last part of the story where it just become a lesbian orgy was kinda nice? It’s just nice to have a story that has a happy end like that. I actually wouldn’t have mind if it contin...”

“…AAAAHHHHH!!!”

“Holy fuck what the fuck Marcie! You scared the shit out of me!”

“I just remembered.”

“What?”

“Zeebop promised to write a chapter of our choice when we found a lesbian ending.”

“Oh.”

“Which we did.”

“Well, technically I did.”

“Uh, what?”

“You didn’t do shit, Marcie! You even screwed up so badly you picked the wrong path!”

“Well, to be fair!”

“Oh no, you are not getting out of this one! I am going to request a chapter from dickgirl and you can bet it will feature you!”

“H-hold on, Gina. What exactly have you planned?”

“Gyahahahahahaha!”

“I have a very bad feeling about this.”