The inevitable problem

Valkyrie splashed, and a small torrent of water hit the back of Jane’s head, soaking her hair and making her lean forwards, laughing again.

“Hey!” Jane said. “Don’t tell me there’s a tradition of Valkyrie splash-fights too.”

“Not tradition,” Valkyrie said. “But happened more than you’d think.”

Valkyrie splashed again, this time at Sif; Sif blinked, a long strand of dark, sodden hair now falling over her face and sticking to her features. Valkyrie winked.

Jane floated for a moment, still on some level trying to adjust to the situation she was in. Valkyrie, and to some extent Sif, certainly seemed more used to communal bathing, and apparently that translated to group skinny-dipping.

She’d gone swimming before, even in the sea, but not frequently, and not without a relatively decent swimsuit. Nude, she could feel it, parts of her body shifting as she floated, water unobstructed flowing past her - and she even felt it, her skin standing out all the more in the blue-green sea.

And here she was, technically in superhero-mode, with the King of Asgard, and Lady Sif, stark naked and paddling. This was insane. She couldn’t help but laugh.

“This… isn’t exactly how I imagined it,” Sif said.

She blew outwards, trying to get the strand of hair to keep from sticking to her face. Jane almost collapsed from giggling again.

“Still, fun right?” Val said.

She swam behind Sif playfully. A second later and Sif’s blush redoubled.

Of all the people to end up naked with, Jane reflected. There was no denying the two women were in excellent shape - toned, firm, she could see that even with the minor distortion of the water.

Sif was standing more guardedly, like Jane she was more stationary, adjusting to the sensation. Admittedly neither of them were covering all that much, but that was more because buoyancy almost demanded they lift their arms for balance.

Not that Sif seemed all that self-conscious while it was just them; it was more a vain attempt to maintain her air of authority while bare. Another splash-by from Val saw her loosen up slightly.

Valkyrie was, well, shameless was the only word for her; she swam in circles, brushing close by, and sometimes splashing, enough of her body lifting up to the water’s surface that she left nothing to the imagination. Jane’s face went hot as Valkyrie swam past her again, a trailing limb brushing by her chest and reminding her of her exposure.

“C’mon, relax,” Valkyrie said. “This is meant to be fun.”

“It’s my first time!” Jane said. “Give me a moment. This is… kinda a lot.”

Her first time and it was with two nude, literal goddesses. Jane wasn’t sure if that was helping or just making it worse.

“The King is right. This is not a time to stand on ceremony,” Sif said.

“See! She’s got the spirit- Ah!” Val began.

Sif tackled her, responding to a splash by rolling into Valkyrie and dragging her down below the water. Jane raised her eyebrows, watching a few moments of energetic splashing, before the two parted, panting.

Sif was grinning now too, albeit in a somewhat different way to Valkyrie’s perpetual playful smirk. It lasted a few seconds, before Val promptly dove back at her.

Jane stumbled backwards, still trying to float was the waves passed by her. A foot broke the surface of the water, then Sif’s head for a few seconds, and then there was just incoherent splashing until, at last, they separated again.

“I’ve been having splash-fights for way longer than you,” Valkyrie said.

“That sounds like a challenge,” Sif said.

Val was still grinning, apparently all-too comfortable with this. Then she paused, and turned, and Jane squeaked.

“Hey, we don’t want her to feel left out, do we?” Val said.

“Oh no, no-” Jane began.

She slowly floated back. Val dove.

In retrospect, Jane reflected, she probably should have expected this plan to end up as chaotic as it had. Laughing, she splashed around wildly, extricating herself from Val’s play-attack (and trying not to think too hard about where Val’s hands found purchase).

Only to find herself bumping into Sif.

It was a good few minutes before, still laughing, the three of them began to slowly emerge from the sea. Three smiles, so used to their mutual nudity that they’d almost forgotten it. They swam, until it was shallow enough to walk, and waded as it got shallower and shallower, more of their bodies becoming visible over the water.

Though, just then, there was no real thought about covering. The beach was still quiet, New Asgard was still decently distant, and hiding from one another felt superfluous.

(Though Jane did, admittedly, sneak a peak down at herself. Magic hammers beat work-outs any day, apparently. She did look good).

“Was that more how you imagined it?” Valkyrie teased, throwing her arm over Sif’s shoulder. “Bathing with the valkyries?”

“About that much subtext,” Sif agreed.

“It was fun,” Jane agreed. “Though I’m about ready to dry off and head back.”

“Spoilsport,” Valkyrie said. “Have to do it again sometime.”

Rolling her eyes, Jane slowly walked over to where they’d left their clothes. Unsurprisingly, Mjolnir kept them where they were. She bent over, pretended she didn’t notice Valkyrie openly staring, and went to reach for the hammer’s handle-

It jerked away.

Jane blinked. She reached again, and Mjolnir twisted out of her grasp. The cracks in the hammer shone sullenly.

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me,” Jane muttered.

“Dr Foster?” Sif said. “I would much prefer my clothes back sooner rather than later.”

“I’m trying,” Jane said. “I think the hammer’s sulking.”

Mjolnir obstinately rested atop the pile of clothes, quietly shifting any time she reached for it. Thor had mentioned that his new hammer could get jealous, but she hadn’t expected his old one to be…

“What is it?” Jane said. “I told you, I love the clothes you give me. Is that what this is? Or is it that I couldn’t use you for the last few weeks?”

She wasn’t sure why she was surprised when the hunk of metal didn’t answer.

“I can spend time with other people!” Jane said indignantly. “Okay, maybe this wasn’t the day out you wanted when I picked you up again, but…”

Her voice trailed off. The handle twisted out of reach again, and the hammer resisted her attempts to summon it.

Slightly more nervously, Jane straightened, backing away from the stationary hammer. She turned around nervously to face her two companions, awkwardly shifting her weight from foot to foot.

There was something that felt different about being nude out in the open air like this. The water wasn’t exactly much of a cover, but it had felt like more - and at least she’d been doing something. Now she was just standing on the beach, sopping wet, and completely naked.

Though admittedly she wasn’t alone. Jane fidgeted, unconsciously crossing an arm over her breasts, biting her lip, not sure how she was meant to break the news.

“I… don’t think I can get our clothes back,” Jane said.

Sif stared. Then quickly brushed past her, crouching to first tug on the unmoving hammer - oh, it let her touch it, but she couldn’t lift it - and then yank on the weighed-down clothes beneath. Nothing could move.

After a futile few attempts, Sif quickly jerked back to her feet, face colouring slightly. She turned around, standing up straight, not adopting as overtly an embarrassed pose as Jane. Still, her eyes were slightly wide.

“Well,” Valkyrie said. She paused. “It happens, I guess.”

“What?!” Jane said.

“What, never had to streak home after a day out?” Valkyrie said.

“Nope,” Jane said.

“That’s not a normal thing,” Sif said.

Val paused. Then shrugged.

“You lead boring lives,” she said.

“I am not- not running like this back to town,” Sif said. “Much less through the town.”

“We could stay here,” Valkyrie said. “Though that doesn’t feel like much of a solution.”

Valkyrie, at least, sounded more practical than anything else - a casual, ‘well, this happened, better live with it’ attitude more than Jane’s steadfast denial, or Sif’s flustered apprehension.

Jane swallowed. This wasn’t where Valkyrie’s playful idea of a day out was meant to end. She fidgeted, looking down in disbelief at the pile of clothes, so near and yet so thoroughly out of reach - the best they could do would be to tear bits off, but that wouldn’t be much help.

Valkyrie was stood more casually, half-slouching, matter-of-factly looking past Jane to the slope that led back up to the town, almost speculative. Jane stared, wide-eyed, almost in disbelief at how easily Valkyrie bared all to them - though, admittedly, it was likely different being there compared to being in town.

Sif stood beside her, tall, amazonian, with just the slightest hint of a blush in her cheeks indicating that she wasn’t necessarily as confident as she put on. She had her arms crossed in a position that would almost look natural if not for how tightly she hugged them to her chest.

And Jane, last of all, suddenly trying to cover herself from even the people that had already seen her, nerves at the sudden inability to dress making her nudity feel all the more embarrassing. She kept one hand over her core, and was bright red, stammering just slightly.

She did not expect to need to streak through New Asgard because her hammer was throwing a tantrum.

“Are you sure you can’t reason with… it?” Sif said.

“I don’t know how!” Jane said.

She side-stepped awkwardly, making a show of another hasty attempt to grab the ever-evasive handle. Even the hammer’s head rolled out of her reach when she tried, staying firmly weighing down the clothes.

It shone grumpily at her. Jane snatched her hand back to half-cover her chest, looking back to Sif.

“Way I see it, we have two choices,” Valkyrie said. “Stay here. Have another dip. Maybe naked sunbathe, maybe have an orgy, I’m down for either. And you can hope the hammer changes its mind, which if you ask me doesn’t seem likely if it’s still being jealous. Or option two, we head back to New Asgard, and we’re dressed within half an hour.”

“Dressed after being seen by half the town,” Jane said, voice slightly higher.

“Which, if you can’t convince the hammer to move, is going to happen no matter what,” Valkyrie said. “So how long do you want to stew in anticipation?”