The guards

Without fast travel, Ed didn't feel like going on month-long road trip through the frozen and dangerous countryside. For now, he thought, let's stay here. Walking outside, he was greeted by the familiar sight of Whiterun's market and many of his current target. The guards. After all, they were the one who could arrest him.

He walked up to one, admiring how the sun shined on they tanned skins and chainmail bikini. Of course, the metal covered in now way their intimate parts to the eye. Up close, he had no problem seeing in great details the smoothness of their athletic body or their bush trimmed to the armories of Whiterun.

"Hi." He waved to the guard.

"Yes citizen?" She answered. "Did somebody stole your sweetrolls?"

Ah, right. You could be walking around in daedric armor and the guards would still give you attitude. Good old skyrim, where the Dovakin could be put to jail in the middle of the apocalypse.

"No. I just wanted to know the laws of the town."

"Don't attack anyone, don't steal, don't trespass on private propriety, don't Shout."

Ed waited a second, waiting for more. "... That's all? What about prostitution? Or public sex? Or public nudity?"

"No lollygagging." Was her answer.

Ed felt frustrated. Those guards were already kind of useless in the game, now it was downright unhelpful. He racked his brain trying to remember what mods he had installed for them, beside the skin change that is. There were a few AI upgrades, some other few things and a monetary adjustment mod he could not remember did what exactly. Out of ideas, he shrugged and decided to try and find it the fastest and most fun way possible. Walking behind the guard, he raised his hand and landed a loud smack on her big ass. She let out a cute welp and jumped forward as her ass rippled under Ed's hand.

"That should do it." He said.

"Stop right there criminal scum!" The guard shouted at him, drawing her sword. "You have..."

"Yeah, yeah. What's the fine?"

"5 golds."

Ed chuckled as he handed her the gold. She pocked it, turned back and yelped once more as his hand landed on her other asscheck with the same strength. He repeated this little routine until the guard's ass was bright red and her folds slightly wet. That surprised him. Kneeling, her could clearly see drips of girl's juice going down her tight*.

"Are you getting excited?"

She didn't answer, looking away at the marked. With a sigh, Ed raised his hand and smacked her ass. There was still a big feeling of naughtiness accompanying the act, but he could get used to it pretty fast. As his hand hit the mark, the guard once again jumped in surprise and spun around, weapons drawn.

"Who did that? Where are you?"

Ed was stunned. He was just under her nose, kneeling before her. What was her problem. Then it hit him. His character had maxed stealth from all the time he had spent sneaking behind various NPC looking at their butts. A feeling of glee filled his mind at all the sexy potential this opened.

Before him, the guard went back to her standard stance. Never did she see Ed sneak toward her and carefully reach for her armor's straps, never did she realize the mix of stress and anticipation Ed was feeling as his hand unlatched her bra, how terrified and excited her felt as he slid her armor down her shapely legs and left her naked under the sun.

Ed could feel his heart beating like crazy inside his chest as he stepped back, holding the guard entire armor in a bundle between his hands. She was still standing just like before, shamelessly showing her naked form to the world. The only sign that maybe she was aware on some level of her state was the juice flowing between her legs.

Admiring his work, he noticed the neutral expression of Lydia to his side.

"Hm, Lydia. Do you mind if I undress women?"

She looked at him, puzzled. "Of course not my Thane. Do you want me to go kiss this woman?"

"What?" Where did that come from?

She kept her neutral expression, as if they were discussing a particular innocent subject. "You usually like it when I kiss other woman."

Oh right, that old animation he had downloaded. "Hm, if you want to."

She smiled at Ed before stepping forward, grabbing the guard by the waist and pulling her against her chest. The naked guard only had the time to gasp in surprise before Lydia invaded her mouth with her tongue.