The first morning after

You wake up with a start. You are still sitting at your kitchen table, but now you have a takeout breakfast sandwich and a cup of coffee in front of you, and the light streaming in from your window tells you it's the next morning. You do feel a little hungry, but other than that, you didn't experience the passage of time. "Good morning." Drake says. "I got you some breakfast."

"Morning." You say, a little disoriented but no worse for wear. You look over towards your microwave to see what time it is to find your microwave missing. "What happened to the microwave?" You ask. You instinctively go to retrieve your phone from your pocket to check the time and find that your clothes have changed. Rather than the jeans and t-shirt you were wearing last night, you are now wearing what appears to be a very nice dark grey suit. Eventually you find your phone and confirm that it's eight in the morning.

"Oh, I took it apart. I needed some components to upgrade your router." Drake explains. "Don't worry, I bought you a new microwave. It should be here later today."

You look over at your wifi router and see that it is now sitting in the shell of what used to be your microwave, covered in slightly glowing patterns and what you assume are magical symbols. You walk over to examine it more closely, careful not to actually touch it. "What's all this do?"

"Think of it as basically a magical version of a VPN. It makes it very hard to track someone's online activity without using magical means." Drake says. "I needed to check in on some of my investments but didn't want to draw any attention this way in the event someone was monitoring my portfolio for activity."

"You have, like, investments and money?" You ask in disbelief, grabbing a bite of the breakfast sandwich Drake had gotten you. "I guess I was just sort of assuming you were, you know, above all that stuff."

"Money is incredibly useful to have, depending on where and when you find yourself." Drake says matter-of-factly. "I have different systems set up in various Ages to ensure I don't have to start from scratch. In this Age I have a few trusts established within several financial institutions making investments on my behalf. I update their instructions every time I pop back with new information about what's going to happen in the market."

"Wait, isn't that going to fuck up the future somehow?" You ask. "Like, that whole butterfly thing? You make some small changes now, and the whole future changes from what it was going to be?"

"Making a few good stock picks isn't going to affect things any more than handing out superpowers to random people." Drake says nonchalantly. "Look, time and fate and the relationships between cause and effect are all far more complicated than anyone in this Age realizes, and I can't really explain why this is because you all lack the vocabulary and perspective to understand. I've tried talking about this with some of the smartest humans in this Age and we always end up speaking past each other. Just, trust me when I say that history is far more resiliant than you might think. Nothing I do will drastically affect the..."

"Holy shit!" You cry, cutting him off. As he was explaining, you were doing a quick spin around your apartment to see if anything else had changed during the night, and you happened to catch your reflection in the mirror. "Did you get my ears pierced?"