The boys head over to Ivan's

Ivan's parents' house turned out to be a fairly unassuming single-family two-storey detached building, its red terracotta roofing and cream walls reminiscent of warm Mediterranean days that Cedric had spent at the beach while on holiday. It was surrounded by a lawn of trimmed grass, with a row of flowering shrubs delineating the property boundary. The late morning sun reflected off the in-ground swimming pool stretching down the east side of the house, casting ripples of sunlight down the stucco walls and open windows.

As Cedric pulled into the cobblestone-lined driveway, Ivan came out to meet them wearing a sly grin on his face and holding what looked like a newspaper in one hand. "Morning guys!"

"Someone's looking lively today," Cedric observed as he stepped out of the car.

"Oh, I just read the funniest article in today's paper. You guys should take a look at it too," Ivan grinned, his hazel eyes flashing. "It's really enlightening. Revealed a lot."

"Revealed what?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, Ethan... how are your balls feeling?" Ivan smirked.

"... the FUCK?!" Colour drained from Ethan's face.

"How'd you... wait, THAT was REPORTED?!"

"Here you go," Ivan said as he handed the paper over to Ethan, who snatched at it like a drowning man reaching for a lifebuoy while Cedric tried to peer over his arm.

Ethan desperately skimmed the article quickly before breathing a sigh of relief. "Fuck, Ivan, you nearly gave me a fucking heart attack!" He let the hand holding the paper fall to his side, and Cedric quickly grabbed the paper.

On first glance, the article looked damning - there was a rather large side view photo of Ethan on the ground, his hands behind his back and a censor bar placed over his groin in a way that highlighted rather than hid his arousal. Diana stood over him, the ball of her foot just disappearing into the censored area, and Cedric was visible as well, standing beside his car while the police officer held the bag of tissues in one hand. But after looking at it several times and scanning the accompanying writeup, Cedric also released an unconsciously held breath. The photograph used wasn't of great quality, his license plate couldn't be deciphered, and their facial features were barely recognizable - no one who didn't know them well would be able to recognize them.

It's not so bad.

"Gotta admit, this guy certainly had a great sense of timing," Cedric weakly offered. "What kind of trashy tabloid even covers this shit, anyway?!" He looked at the front page, but it wasn't one he was familiar with. A quick dive through the rest of the paper confirmed that it was, in fact, a tabloid dedicated to racy, rumour-filled, questionable articles that could hardly be considered news. "You READ this nonsense?!"

"Nah," Ivan dismissed. "Not my thing. Nana only gets it because it's one of the few that carries rumours of ghost sightings or other paranormal shit."

"... yet you, not your Nana, had it prepared for our arrival."

"Well... Nana went through it during breakfast, came across you in your birthday suit, and started laughing like a maniac. Naturally, I had to see what the fuss was about."

"Did you tell..."

"Honestly? I didn't, cause I wasn't totally sure it was you. The article didn't name names. But, y'know..." Ivan's smirk grew into one the Cheshire Cat would've been proud of - "... thanks for the confirmation."

Ethan facepalmed. "Oh my god, I HATE you so much right now."

"Anyway, why don't you guys come in. Nana's in the lounge."

It took a few seconds for Cedric and Ethan's eyes to adjust to the dimmer lighting within, by which time Ivan's Nana had already gotten to her feet and was making her way toward them.

"Nana, these are my friends, Ethan and Cedric," Ivan introduced. "They're the ones who needed your -"

"Oh, it's good to meet you boys!" Nana interrupted, clasping their right hands in turn within her own slightly wrinkled ones. Her voice was slightly raspy, but also carried a comforting warmth. "Ivan doesn't bring friends home often."

"... Nana, you haven't seen my friends because you aren't here often enough."

"... I speak to your Ma, you know," Nana said, looking up at the much taller Ivan.

"Uh-huh. And what has Ma been telling you?" Ivan asked patiently.

"She said you don't have many friends."

"Ouch," Cedric whispered to Ethan.

"Parent burn."

Ivan, to his credit, simply raised an eyebrow. "I go for quality over quantity."

"She's also worried that you haven't found a girlfriend yet and thinks you're spending too much time watching your cartoon animation things," she continued offhandedly.

"Must be the waifu," Ethan stage whispered, and Nana's gaze darted to him questioningly. Ivan, on the other hand, shot a glare at Ethan... before suddenly grinning.

"Hey, Nana? You know that guy in the paper you were laughing about?"

"Don't you dare," Ethan hissed quietly.

"That naked boy who had his pecker out in broad daylight?" she snorted.

Ivan clapped Ethan on the shoulder, completely ignoring the **** stare Ethan was giving him. "It's this guy right here."

"No, it's not," Ethan hotly denied, and Cedric could just tell that he was valiantly resisting the urge to elbow Ivan in the ribs. "Don't be silly."

Nana's eyebrows rose as she stepped back, clearly surveying Ethan from head to toe. "Ah," she said simply after a few seconds of awkward silence. "I can see it."

"But... it's not..." Ethan protested, his lie falling on deaf ears, his cheeks colouring slightly as he continued glaring at Ivan.

"Don't worry, dear, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of," she continued. "You certainly look much better than my grandson, anyway. I've always said he was too skinny."

"Nana!"

"What?" The septuagenarian's palm wrapped around Ivan's wrist, her fingertips touching. "See? My hand goes all the way around, and it's tiny. You need to eat more. Like your friend here."

"Yeah, Ivan." It was Ethan's turn to smirk as he poked Ivan in the chest. "You need to eat more. See, I can even feel your ribs."

"Alright, enough," Ivan gently pulled his hand from his Nana's grasp while batting Ethan's finger away with his other hand. "I don't think you wanted to come all the way out here to poke fun at me. Didn't you guys need help with something serious? A ghost emergency of some sort?"

Nana straightened up. The movement didn't add much to her height, but the effect on her stature was fairly impressive - the calm, kindly old granny now radiated a sense of palpable, no-nonsense authority, her eyes gleaming as the purpose of their meeting was finally broached. "Follow me," she commanded, her voice firm and leaving no room for argument. "I'll see what I can do."

"Have a seat."

Neither Cedric nor Ethan had ever had much interest in the occult, and stepping into the room Nana led them into was an eye-opening experience. Tarot decks, totems, books, even a radio... the cupboards and shelves were lined with all sorts of paraphernalia, and for every item they recognized, there were at least two or three other things unfamiliar to them.

"Huh," Cedric mused as he pulled out one of the folding chairs available, staring at the clean, well-organized room. "Gotta admit, this doesn't quite look like what I imagined."

"What were you expecting? A dim room lit by a single candle with flickering shadows on the walls? Maybe a hidden wind or smoke machine somewhere? A mounted crystal ball? Shawls and spiders and dusty shelves?"

"... kinda," Ethan sheepishly admitted.

"Bah. Amateurs and their fairground theatrics," Nana declared as she retrieved a mahogany Ouija board and placed it onto the square desk that sat in the middle. "No, I'm a professional."

Cedric nearly snorted out of habit - in fact, he was only semi-successful in keeping it in, but thankfully, no one else appeared to have heard him.

"Now. What exactly is the problem?"

"We've... uh..."

"We've got a ghost intent on harassing us."

"When did you first notice this spirit?"

"... about... two days ago?"

"And how do you know it's a ghost?"

"Well... we were kind of... we were..."

"...messing about in a graveyard."

Nana looked up from the preparations she was making and fixed them with an icy stare. The **** of her gaze all but pinned them to their seats. The silence that followed was one of the tensest Cedric had ever experienced, and he could have sworn that the temperature of the air in the room had fallen several degrees.

Nana clearly disapproved. Heavily.

Eventually, her face softened fractionally. "You young ones and your lack of respect for the departed," she sighed. "What did you do?"