The armies assembled and marching into Aldergrove lands

Even even though waging a campaign of conquest was not at all what you had in mind when you started down this path a little over a week ago, you now find yourself riding in an elegant carriage at the head of the largest army ever assembled by the county of Undrek.

All in all there are over 1100 mercenaries, almost equally divided between highlander swordsmen from across the sea, armored and disciplined pikemen with their support, and a motley of poachers, bandits and peasants toting bows. Such a **** would prove ruinously expensive over the long-term even to a city such as yours with considerable reserves of hard coin in its war chest. But with any luck, the tributes you extort from the towns and villages in your path will be enough to keep them and your pocket until the job is done.

Since you cannot afford to leave the city gates unguarded, only 800 Undrek militia march ( if one were feeling generous enough to call an unruly stampede a "march") at your back. Tula, meanwhile, is both hungry for glory and eager to smooth over her attempted betrayal of you, so she has recklessly levied almost every able body in the villages under her control, dragging about 300 to war even though their crops will rot on the ground and their villages suffer a famine in the coming winter if the campaign lasts longer than a month or two. Several of the minor Barons who are only loosely under your control have sent small contingents of their own to join you out of fear that you are gathering an army to punish them for withholding years of taxes.

Then there are the goblins. Few of their number are domesticated enough to serve in the militia, for many are wild and tribal still, but the promise of war and loot brings them tagging along. They're not reliable enough to be part of a battle line, but they're useful opportunists to harass **** enemy scouts, foragers and baggage trains.

And lastly, marching behind the rest of the column are Johari and four of her fellow necromancers (mercifully you have allowed her to begin wearing a cloak over her new 'uniform' and to use hard-soled boots while in the field, but she is only allowed to clasp it closed at night - in the day she must leave it open to reveal her brassiere, stockings and panties). In their wake, trailing behind the rest of the troops so as not to disturb them, is a hideous throng of 300 zombies, the workshops and tanneries having been virtually emptied of these 'workers' to use them as battlefield weapons instead. Although when you berated Tula about their effectiveness you had been speaking true - and she knew it - the tireless nature of the undead makes them ideal in siege situations.

Aside from your personal carriage, there are also 10 more - containing both the witches you have brought with you and a score of more adventurous non-magical prostitutes who see an opportunity for great profit in this (not only from the troops, but because they expect they can ransom any captives taken and turn them into 'working girls' for themselves, using the profits they've gathered from the soldiers and mercenaries to become madams in their own right). Besides the ever-eager Marzena, Hannah is leading a dozen other witches who have volunteered to serve you in war (and to share the load of 'entertaining' so many men, which the greatly outnumbered female members of the militia will no doubt appreciate). A few are not accompanying you in so willing a fashion: you have ordered Olivia, Rima and Yara, the most rebellious of your first round of 'war witches' to come along, explaining that they can repay their failure either by doing a better job at fighting this time or by providing entertainment with their bodies.

When your massive army is spotted approaching, every guardpost and watchtower in your path is abandoned by the time you go past it. It is impossible to maneuver so many stealthily - Aldergrove will certainly know you are coming by the time you reach his main castle. The only question is if he will dare to face you in the field or (more likely) hope to hold you off with fortified walls until winter arrives.

It is now 10 days since you first marched out to face the mercenaries. While most of your army is encamped in tents, the girls and witches (and you) have taken over a roadside inn for a temporary headquarters. Many of the troops are drawing lots for how many will be allowed to spend some time (and money) in the inn this night of the march - you have chosen to limit it to not more than threescore per night, as you don't want either the troops or the women to get overly worn out. In the main hall, you, Tula, Michaela and Marzena are holding court.

"So to summarize," you explain, pacing back and forth in front of a dozen sergeants from among the militia and mercenaries, "I am humble enough to understand that my schooling in military matters is incomplete. Baroness Tula knows more, but even she is untested in a true campaign. So we have brought some of you veterans in here to give us reports, summaries, strategies, and so on. Those who make a convincing case and give me actionable plans might be favored by being invited to, ahem, share sleeping quarters with myself, my main vassal, or perhaps my liason to the witches - if you can stand her incessant awful jokes long enough to share a bed with her, that is. Of course, those of you who waste my time with prattle that is useless, unnecessary will be flogged for wasting a Countess's time, and those who give advice that leads to disaster, should I choose to follow it, will be punished severely... so consider your counsel carefully before you offer it."