You and the baroness, two noblewomen, take the counsel of mere commoners

You have decided that your earlier choice of attire - the short white skirt and leather full-length corset - will do nicely. Compared to many of your friends and allies - Tula, Hannah, Johari, and even your new quartermistress Michaela - your breasts are decidedly modest in size, not so much because you are so far below average as because the aforementioned women have been so disproportionately blessed. But, now that you have gone and made fun of your best friend Marzena for always wearing a padded bra (even now, she is doing the same - about half of the big bustline she's sporting there is cloth and fluff) you can't very well do the same. So, although the cloth of your frilly white blouse is buttoned tightly over the little mounds you do have, you are relying on your attractive legs to do most of the work.

Tula has left off her cleavage-baring armored dress for now. As you'd explained to her, it was fine for looking at but if there was a good chance you would be having actual sex, even such alluring metalwork would be noisy and uncomfortable. What she HAD decided to wear was even more daring than you - a tight blue dress that barely extended halfway down her thighs with a plunging neckline that went almost as low as her belly button with a leather corset - black to contrast your white - over it. As a reminder of her station as a knight, she had metal thigh-high boots that flattered her delightful figure. Marzena was wearing her usual powder-blue dress, a bit longer and less tight than Tula's. She has a truly pretty face so she won't have trouble attracting attention either, you think. Between the three of you, the first few scouts who give their reports stumble and stammer more than a bit.

"So here's the situation," Tula explains, standing up in front of the table. "If those reports you've given are accurate we have Aldergrove seriously outnumbered. Even if he and all of his vassals emptied their castles and levied every last sword arm, they'd have less than half the troops we do. This is cavalry country so the sixty or so knights that Aldergrove will be able to field can do a lot of damage, but those Grey Star guys who Zoe slutted into siding with us have pikes and besides, against numbers like that there's only so much a good charge can do. We're all agreed this will probably be a siege."

"Ahem." Gregor, a new enlistee in the militia who claims to have studied many military scholars extensively, steps forward and bows. "Countess. Baroness. I must inform you that the danger to us is greater than you may realize. Although Lady Tula is mostly correct, a siege is, well... the attacker isn't really the attacker, you see? The ones laying siege are the defenders, really - they are stationary, pinned in place, and those in the castle and their allies can strike when and where it suits them best."

"So, we'll always be on our guard and ready to take them!" Tula puffs out her chest and smiles.

"Well," Gregor explains, "here, my acquaintance Duran, from the baker's guild, has been talking a lot with your clever woman Michaela, and there's another to consider."

Duran is a bit on the plump side for a soldier, but then, it seems it isn't his main profession. "Ahem, yes - so you know, the county of Aldergrove exports wheat and barley. A lot of it. And since it is often targeted by goblin raiders all of it is stored inside of fortified settlements. Because our **** is moving slow, we'll catch very little of it outside the city walls when we get there, and even if it hasn't all been milled yet there's ways to make it edible... What I'm saying is that any of those castles, especially Aldergrove's personal castle-keep, will have enough food to last them for well over a year. Honestly, with how little surplus grain Undrek has, we will run out of provisions long before they do."

Stepping out from behind the tall, willowy Gregor is a squat male dwarf who calls himself Hod. "Oi. That's where I come in. Digging is my specialty but I didn't have to tell you that. So, this county has a high water table which means there's a lot of wells and springs. But if Aldergrove decides to poison or taint the wells outside the castle gates we'll run out of water even before we're short on food. Honestly, the army you've brought might be a bit too big, Countess. But since we've committed now, alas, we can't just fortify a siege camp and wait for them to give in as yon Baroness said. Besides, m'lady Tula, you're a warrior maiden, aye?"

Marzena breaks in with a giggle, sitting in a chair backwards. "Oh, she certainly is a warrior. 'Maiden', well, depending on what you mean by that..."

"Oh shut it, you creepy little demon-whore!" Tula snarls, kicking one of the chair legs. It's cheap wood so it splinters, sending Marzena tumbling to the floor. You toss an empty serving tray at Tula, and it bounces off the side of her head with a painful clatter. "OWCH!"

"As you were saying?" you say, turning calmly back to your militia advisors.

"Well, it'll have to be an ****, I reckon." Hod says flatly. "Terrible risk, both in the stage of finding a way through the walls and in storming them. But it's the only way."

"Well, that brings me to our greatest weakness..." Gregor says, adjusting his ill-fitting glasses with a cough. "As you know there's more than a few tales and stories talking about heroic armies defeating enemy hosts that outnumber them several times over with cleverness and heroic resolve. There's some truth to that, and we could easily end up on the wrong end of such a bardic tale of battlefield heroism if we don't do this wisely. The militia isn't well motivated. Oh, we all love you, Countess Zoe, you know that..."

You respond with a cute flutter of your eyelashes and blow him a kiss, which makes him smile back. But there's serious concern in his eyes and voice. "...but they want to get paid, and more to the point, they want to live. The moment things look even a little grim, it will be every man for himself. That is the simple fact. Even the mercenaries might hold out longer during tough moments. But they, too, will run if as soon as the battle looks like it might be lost. So one failed attempt on the castle walls will likely be the end of your campaign. Worse, the mercenaries will want payment anyway and might return to sack Undrek while it's under-defended."

There's a few moments of uncomfortable silence. "Ooof, sounds a bit grim. Anyone up for some mead, lighten the mood perhaps?" Marzena asks. You laugh softly. "Well, at this rate it sounds like we may have to..."

"Well, there's one particular historical siege that I think could show us the way to victory here..." Gregor says, looking over his shoulder at the other dozen or so in the room. "But forgive me ladies - I do not think it is safe to say it to all in attendance. I trust Duran, he's an old friend of mine, but I'm not so sure about the others. I don't at all mean to overstep my bounds or suggest something that smacks of impropriety, but perhaps I could explain more in a more private upstairs room to your chief vassal, since she is to be in charge of deployment of arms...?"

You consider. Of course, your thoughts are less on military strategy and more on carnal, as always. No matter how polite, he'll no doubt expect to be rewarded for his study and audacity with a lady's touch this evening. But should you go with him and his tag-along oafish friend yourself, or delegate matters once again? After all, in some sense you have been intending to 'save yourself' for Count Mace... perhaps even **** him into a short-lived marriage if only so you can take all of his lands when he 'unfortunately' dies. And Ross, wretch though he is, is starting to think of himself as your lover, and under the circumstances you can't afford for him to be thinking of turning his coat a second time. But then, simply WATCHING or overhearing a lot of sex once again without getting to participate would be frustrating. Will you grant this clever young lowborn man your 'favor' personally, and leave it to Tula to entertain his fat friend (it would serve her right, after all), regardless of the... risks?