The Witcher Audition

Anya Chalotra waited for the audition, glancing down at the casting call sheet where the words that had haunted her for weeks were clearly stated: “Nudity required for this role”. She struggled to come up with the right words that would get her point across to the casting director.

She thought to herself, “I don’t think I’m comfortable with this one scene… no, no, I need to be firm. I refuse to do nudity! No, that’s too strong…”

Just then, she was called in for her audition. Aside from that one sensitive issue, Anya was totally prepared. She had read all The Witcher novels and short stories, or at least the ones that pertained to Yennefer. She knew that character inside and out, and in a sort of way, was in love with her. She was for this role. The money and fame that would certainly come from being in a Netflix show based on such a popular franchise were nice, to be sure, but she connected with Yennefer personally in a way she never had in any other role. She NEEDED this part, and she would do anything to get it. Well, almost anything…

As she sat down inside, she was introduced to the casting director and a producer, who would be conducting the audition. The casting director was a conservatively dressed older woman, with a kind face; Anya instantly identified her as an ally, who might be convinced to omit the nude scenes. The producer was a man, but Anya didn’t think of him as a creep. He was young for a producer, maybe in his early 30s, and he looked more like a handsome hipster than an old Hollywood creeper who’d pressure women into doing things they didn’t want to.

She performed for them a scene based on The Last Wish, which told the tale of how Yennefer first met Geralt. They realized that Anya must have done her homework when she easily slipped into character without any guidance. They knew an actress who really cares about her character would always be more passionate and emotional than someone just in it for the paycheck, and Anya acted so flawlessly that they knew her heart was in it.

The pair commended Anya’s brilliant performance and expressed their desire to have her follow up in the next round of auditions. But before they could make it official, there was an awkward silence as the casting director turned her eyes to the floor. Anya began to panic as the producer started talking.

“This part is never easy… As I’m sure you’re aware, this role requires some nudity. There’s really no way around it. If we offered you this part, your breasts would be on display for a considerable period of time.”

“Yeah, um, about that…” Anya tried to speak up, but her nerves meant only a whisper escaped her lips.

“The nudity is present in the source material- you read that right? You should know- and we believe it’s important to the plot and not at all gratuitous.”

“Maybe, but-“ Anya tried again to interrupt, but still no one could hear her.

“And so the way usually we handle these things in the audition is, um…” the producer trailed off, leaving them in yet another awkward pause.

Eventually, the casting director asserted her presence. “Oh for Pete’s sake, don’t the poor girl. Just get it over with.” She turned toward Anya and said sternly, “We need to see your boobs. Now.”