Chapter 98 by Jerynboe

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The Waifu Paradox

Gil was waiting outside of the ancient black stone ziggurat when Rose arrived, nodding and making small talk with a few random passers by, which he extricated himself from the moment he saw Rose.

“I checked the records rooms for T1s.” He said, “No proper waifugeddons, unfortunately, but there was a shipment of slightly racist British goth girls named Amelia half a cycle back, so we might be able to pick up one or two. We’ll need to ask around to find anything else for Vanessa. I think I found a few promising prospects for my other idea, though. Plenty of guys with the Nerd tag we can hunt through. Let me show you to the viewing chambers. That’s where we can properly interview the wares before buying.”

“So you know, I have offered to engage with Vanessa’s kink.” Rose said, keeping her voice low. Despite everything she’d seen of tester culture, the concept still felt terribly taboo.

Gil laughed, and patted her on the back.

“Good fucking luck.” He said, “You may have bitten off more than you can chew. We can plan it later, once we know what we have available to work with.”

Rose raised an eyebrow.

“I intended to ambush her and drive her into a frenzy of lust as a stranger.” Rose said, “Is that not enough? She enjoys being ****, no?”

Gil gave her a pitying look.

“It’s a start.” He said, “Look, we can try. You got the stuff for Nessa at least, right?”

The viewing chamber was a large room at the pinnacle of the tower, and it took a while to reach. The spiral path to the viewing chamber took them past around 20 chambers, each marked with a number between 1 and 10, save one sealed with a heavy door marked “X.” Each chamber was packed with frozen individuals, who moved for a few moments whenever someone looked at them. As they walked, Gil rambled about best practices.

“Now the thing to remember about this place is churn. Everyone and everything is here because someone didn’t want it, and nobody else has wanted it enough since they arrived.” He explained. “At the lowest tiers, that’s at its most clear. You’ve seen them. A bunch of sleazy salesmen, drunks, and comedy sidekicks. What don’t you see?”

“Young women?” Rose said, “Or even old ones, actually.”

“Exactly. Everyone likes cute girls.” Gil said, “Most women like having attractive women around them as friends or lackeys, because they are social by nature and have an in group preference. Guys like to fuck pretty girls. Some, like you, have both motives.”

Rose blushed slightly at that characterization, but didn’t argue.

“Of course, there are exceptions, like gay guys and robots and such, but we are talking in terms of averages. That’s how the market works.” Gil explained, “The thing to remember is that at higher tiers, it’s still true but it becomes a little more complicated. I call it the Waifu paradox. Take those two girls. Which is a better purchase?”

He pointed into a room with a T4 etched into the stone above the door at a malnourished woman whose eyes were staring off in two different directions. She was distinctly plain, with her only distinctive features being rather unattractive, like her lank hair and unfocused eyes. She sat in a corner, arms wrapped around her knobbly legs. Above her floated a label, “Merope Gaunt, T4.”

Next, Gil indicated a lightly armored beauty with bright crimson hair and green eyes. Clearly from a fantasy sort of world that didn’t fear fanservice. The only thing unattractive about her was a sour expression, which vanished in a flash when she noticed she was being observed. She waved at Rose and smiled, taking a step forward and then freezing again. Her name also floated above her: “Malty Melomarc, T4.”

“Well the girl sitting on the floor is not exactly a stunner, and they are supposedly of the same power level.” Rose said, looking around. The room still skewed male, but less so. With that said, the answer seemed too obvious. “I’m guessing Merope, but I’m not certain why.”

“Correct.” Gil said. “Why, exactly, would anyone pass up on the redhead bombshell if she’s available and in a somewhat reasonable price range?”

“Perhaps she’s at the lower end of the tier?” Rose said, “If most gods are only tier ten, then each power band must be quite large.”

The two resumed their journey towards the top of the tower. The staircase was a bit narrow for anyone to stand around and speak to one another, even with minimal foot traffic.

“That’s a good possibility.” Gil said, “She also might be dangerous, like having magic that drains life from the world around her. Or a total bitch; I’ve got a lot more mental rewiring items than most do this test, and keep in mind that less than half of them actually alter the underlying personality. Body alterations and power boosts are a lot easier to get, and backfire less. Only people with proper full bindings can afford to play with fire on dangerous individuals. Maybe one in a million tests has a full binding on maximum settings.”

“So if I see an attractive, pleasant seeming woman in the ziggurat?” Rose said, rhetorically leaving the question open.

“You leave her alone unless you’ve got something available to fix her up, or you can find out why.” Gil said. “There was a girl I picked up a while back named Raven. She looked a bit like you, but turns out she’d usher in the apocalypse when she hit a certain age and she was sold to the Bazaae about two days before her birthday. I was feeling a bit cocky, so I grabbed her anyway.”

Gil snorted.

“That test ended a few weeks later due to planetary dissolution, but Raven herself was a great girl. Sweet, competent, powerful.” He admitted. “If the problems are obvious, the girls themselves are usually a lot better. If I had to guess based on body language and appearance, Merope would be a bit clingy, but if you could fix her looks and work with her likely awful self esteem, she’d be extremely loyal. Who knows what might be up with Malty?”

They walked into the viewing chamber, and Gil suddenly stopped short. Rose side stepped around him, checking the trajectory of his vision. Her heart tightened when she saw something new in Gil’s eyes: fear. Actual, genuine fear.

She looked across the room to see someone interviewing a girl in one of the many viewing chambers. The merchandise was a pretty woman dressed for the 1920s, though her eyes were just a bit too large and her skin just a bit too pale. The name floating above her was “Asenath Waite, T5.”

Gil pushed through the crowds waiting in line, making a beeline for the two women. What Rose didn’t see was that Gil, looking at the back of the tester examining Miss Waite, saw her ripple and take on exactly one other form for several seconds. A form near identical to the merchandise she was examining, save that she was dressed for a medieval court.

Gil walked right up to the woman, placed a hand on her shoulder, and spoke gently, like he was talking to a spooked animal. Or to someone standing upon a ledge.

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