The Teachings of Ty Lee, by Serca45

Ty Lee recruits prisons for a very special program.

“Recruiting entire prisons is quite the accomplishment.”

“Oh, hey look, Marcie. It's the ninja fucker with the smell fetish. Been a hot while since we featured that one.”

“Indeed but this time we are not reading about Naruto but dive into the world of Avatar.”

“The movie with the hot blue aliens?”

“No, no, the cartoon.”

“Ugh, lame”

“Ah, Avatar the last Airbender: Some call it the best western anime. Not that this is a particular high bar to clear, but...”

“Marcie. Are there any hot blue alien chicks in this?”

“I don't think so.”

“Then I do not care.”

“Irrelevant. We are reading The Teachings of Ty Lee, by Serca45”

“Yay.”

(Note- this story takes place 13 years after the events of Avatar The Last Airbender, both the comics and Korra aren't cannon for this story)

“Well it's a good thing they aren't cannon.”

“Marcie...”

“Or else they would explode!”

“This will be a riot.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“This was not a riot.”

“Care to give us a summary, Gina?”

“This is the story about a prison bitch called Sato. He's a brooding edgelord in a high security prison with lots of scars and only one hand.”

“And his life is just about to get worse as he receives an invitation from Ty Lee.”

“Bah.”

She smiles at me "Well sit down and I will tell you cutie!"

“Gina, I can't believe I am saying this but this authors punctuation might be worse then google's.”

“At least this one actually managed to get rid of his ellipses fetish.”

“That is true.”

“Moving on. Ty Lee makes Edgy an offer. Join her on a luxury island and life together with a bunch of hot chicks as part of a prison rehabilitation program.”

“It is a hard sell, but after a lot of convincing Sato agrees.”

“Alright. I think the readers need to understand just what I mean when I say Sato is an edgelord. Because, you see, Marcie. We aren't dealing with your average edgelord anymore. This is a super edgelord!”

"I don't feel anything..." My icy demeanor radiates from the core of my being.

I scoff "Come on are you serious? Not telling me about him was intelligent, why give me information I could use against you? Always keep your prey confused, that's the most logical way to stay in control."

I give a primal scream, It's not directed at anyone in particular, just at existence itself. I guess this island is my punishment for all of the pain I've caused. I walk toward the same glass door Toph went through and punch it with all my might, the already busted glass shatters with ease. I'm nearly hyperventilating as I step through, the glass crunching under my feet. Warm blood trickles down through my palm, a feeling I'm very familiar with, it's strangely comforting.

“It is hard to deny this.”

“Oh, but don't worry! We also get stuff like this!”

I see her face contort in anger as she reaches down the front of my pants and grabs a handful of flaccid sweaty cock.

“Well, we certainly can't fault Serca for being descriptive.”

“Fuck you. From all the disgusting dick descriptions we got and trust me, dickgirl guy is very creative, this somehow is the worst. This sounds like grabbing a slimy worm. Ugh! I can actually feel it!”

“Lucky for you, we don't spend much time on Sato's dick after that.”

“Of course we don't! Because from here the story revolves around Sato being an edgy asshole while everyone tries to make him feel better. This shit is 16 chapters of “Ugh I'm so cold and lonely” “No Sato, cheer up!” “Ugh, If you could only understand the pain and misery I'm feeling.”

“16 chapters might not sound too bad. But these chapters are quite long. I don't think it is unreasonable to call them about thrice the length of an average chapter.”

“And these tags are a blatant lie. At most there is some basic petting in this shit. Maybe if Sato wasn't such an angsty douche all the time they could actually get to second base!”

“I don't think you know what second base means, Gina.”

“Shut up. There is no sex in this. There is a fucking sex dungeon in their house. It gets mentioned quite a bit! But it never gets used! When are they going to the sex dungeon, Marcie?”

“Hmm. You know the saying All style no substance? I can't help but feel that this story is all substance, no style.”

“But guess what? It doesn't even fucking matter. Serca published all these chapter between late February and mid March. After that, not a single chapter in three months!”

“Maybe we are too hard on this story. Are we too hard on it, Gina?”

“No, fuck you for wasting my time with this garbage.”

“And it is a shame, because the core of it is very well made. I can see that there went a lot of time into characterization and worldbuilding.”

“Isn't this just a fanfic? Not sure how much credit we should give the fuck for that.”

“Hm, perhaps. Actually, I think I get it.”

“What?”

“The main character is just not very interesting.”

“Wow! What an amazing observation! Hold the presses! Angsty Mcfuckface doesn't make for good protagonist!”

“A generic protagonist isn't an issue per se, if it serves as a window into the story. But Sato isn't generic. He has a well defined personality, it is just...”

“Said personality is absolutely repulsive.”

“I am not saying you need to get rid of Sato. He would work fine as a deuteragonist.”

“I would rather have him be a neuteragonist.”

“Err, I'm so sorry, Gina but that pun isn't really doing it for me.”

“Like, I care!”

“To get back at matters at hand. It is clear that Sato is supposed to go trough a character arc. But what is the end state of that character arc? That he learns to love himself? That he stops falling for the Hedgehog dilemma?”

“I hate Hedgehogs.”

“It is simply not enough. At most this is your B-plot. As a main narrative drive it falls flat.”

“Let me put it a bit more succinctly so we can finally fucking move on: Sato sucks!”

“Basically, I can't help but feel that a lot of issues could be resolved by changing the point of view to Ty Lee.”

“Or fuck, give me Toph! Or Avni, if you still want someone grumpy. Hell, even the fucking cook would have made a more interesting protagonist!”

“This review might have come across as somewhat needlessly harsh.”

“Nah.”

“But I am really seeing a lot of potential in this author. The core writing is good, sometimes even great...if the author would proofread a bit more. Punctuation is a point of contention. Also general spelling. Nothing as offensive as barley, but he did misspell shudder as shutter.”

“Ha.”

“3 times.”

“Bwahahahaha!”

“What I am trying to say is that the story has all the right ingredients. The characters are complex and well rounded, the premise is interesting and the setting is well thought out. But this is all just table setting, if the narrative doesn't hold up none of that matters.”

“Thanks, now I'm hungry.”

"This might be a structural problem as well. I can't help but feel that the author doesn't really know where to take the story.”

“Hence, we are stuck with Sato whining and bitching all day.”

“Indeed. Well I suppose this about wraps it up. Any closing comments, Gina?”

“Blind chicks are hot!”