The Steward, by wilparu

“Why, if it isn't wilparu, gracing us with another one of his wondrous tales! And look! A short title that doesn't even have his name in it. How quaint.”

“Did you hit your head this morning, Gina?”

“I'm just mentally preparing myself for the major dick sucking you will soon engage in. Because that's what you always do. Sucking dick.”

“If I remember correctly, you where the one who actually masturbated to wilparu's last story.”

“THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!”

“I'm sure it was. But let us not waste more time with Gina's persistent genital arousal. This time we are reading The Steward, by wilparu”

“Ok, the thumbnail is kinda ass, the synopsis is whatever but at least the tags are kinda interesting.”

“Now then, let us get this show on the road, or I guess I should say...the river.”

“Ugh.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

The stink of whale blubber being rendered was almost helping, strangely. The more consistently disagreeable stench of the port city - rotting vegetation, too many people of variable hygiene, the brine pools near the coast, the sewage lagoon that formed around the deep-water vessels - was at least partially masked by the acrid smell of the whaling ships.

“What a great start for a porn story. Really makes me want to touch myself. The tags didn't promise reader vomit.”

“Well, wilparu is just setting the scene.”

“Well, maybe the setting is shit then!”

“Gina is wildly exaggerating. We don't spend much time in this city anyway, for this is the story of Noah, a young scholar(?) who is on his way to an ancient, lost city to study(?) it.”

“Unfortunately he is kinda a bit of a bumbling fool, and since he can't book passage like a normal person, he decides to hire on a trading ship as a whore.”

“Ah, I feel I have to explain this. Due to brutal wars having decimated the male population this is a female dominated world. And I have to say the way wilparu integrates this...”

“There it is!”

“What?”

“The dick sucking!”

“Why, look Gina all I am saying is that I really enjoy the worldbuilding of this story.”

“Marcie, this is the story about a guy named Noah on a boat. It's not exactly fucking Shakespeare in its subtlety.”

“I never considered Shakespeare particularly subtle, but if anything this takes inspiration from A Song of Ice and Fire, in particularly the segment where Tyrion was sailing down the Rhoyne.”

“Whatever, the boywhore hires on and everyone is ecstatic.”

“No piss and shit stuff, aye,” Hannah nodded sagely from the corridor. “No idea if any of the crew are into that,”

“Too bad, eh Marcie?”

“Will you stop with this slander? That was one time!”

“Yeah right. So, Noah gets on the boat and this is where the majority of the story takes place. Most of it obviously involves Noah screwing the crew.”

“You know what they say. Can't spell screwing without crew!”

“Hilarious.”

“There is something enticing about sharing a man. I suppose it is a mild deviation of the cuckold fetish? Hm...no I don't think that is quite right. I suppose knowing someone is just a piece meat, lusted over by all your friends, it is tremendously tantalizing.”

“Can you contain your perverse ramblings anytime soon, Marcie?”

“Might as well ask you directly then. What do you think of the sex scenes, Gina?”

“For the most part I would have been fine with them. But then wilparu just had to go ahead and throw in some gay shit!”

“Gina.”

“What?”

“...are you being serious right now?”

“What? I'm a lesbian! Of course I don't like gay stuff!”

“Oh, dear.”

She mauled his neck as he licked her earlobe, making her squirm and start to whine.

“Oi, wilparu! According to your boyfriend the word maul is only reserved for a particular bla bla bla.”

“Well, Jerk does have a point. This is the first time I saw the word mauled in an erotic context.”

“But eh, the sex was fine, I guess. Would be better if there was some actual lesbian stuff going on. I mean there is literally a lesbian couple on board but all we get is straight and gay shit!”

“I feel I have to explain...things.”

“So no, I didn't masturbate to wilparu's shitty gay sex scenes. What about you, Marcie?”

“While I did like them, I feel there where two issues with them. With the sex in general. I mean.”

“Oh, Goodie.”

“First. The femdom was too vanilla for me. As a matter of fact I am not even sure this story counts as femdom.”

“Eh, there was some of it in it.”

“Yes, one of them involving a very disturbing roleplay and the other a crazy water hag. None of them count among my kinks.”

“Giving your control fetish I find that hard to believe.”

“I don't like it when the person in control is unhinged. The story also puts a very negative slant on these actions.”

“Well duh.”

“At any rate, these two scenes seemed to serve more as a narrative device. My point still stands that the sex here is very consensual.”

“Wow, consensual sex. What a turn off.”

“All, I'm saying is that with the premise of one guy serving as the sexual outlet for a crew of horny girls you'd expect at least some manner of degradation. Don't get me wrong, the way the girls are so protective of Noah is adorable, but it was all so dreadfully above board. Pun intended.”

“You know what I find hilarious, Marcie?”

“What?”

“This story constantly hints at harder stuff, like some fucking tease. Like, hoho, if you where on another ship they would have bound and gagged you, feed you some viagra and used you as nothing more then a vibrator for the entire trip...Marcie are you drooling?”

“Pardon me. Also nice use of second person. Very immersive.”

“Shut up. Get to the second reason already.”

“You know that scene in Dragonball where Vegeta tells Goku that his father was an average warrior but a brilliant scientist? It's funny because that was added in the dub and completely goes against what was latter esta...”

“GET TO THE POINT!”

“Basically the same as last time. Wilparu does such an excellent job at creating an intriguing world and a fascinating mystery that I have trouble concentrating on the sex.”

“So what you are trying to say is that wilparu is a great writer but sucks ass at porn?”

“Not how I would have phrased it, but oh well.”

“I admit there is some pretty crazy shit going on. I'm talking seals, whales and lizards!”

“If your aim is to sell the story, you are doing a pretty bad job at it, Gina.”

“Oh shut up, Marcie. Eventually Noah gets to the ancient city. Meets some blue dude and...”

“Roll paragraph.”

“I read of the ability of mages in times past to create wonderous and terrible things. I would need a map that would show the person holding it how time is flowing around them. So, it would need to change, if the person holding it was in a place where time was fragile or eddied in unusual ways. Ideally, it should point to where those disruptions originated. If possible, and I have no idea if it is, but if it could show whether an instability was the result of the past or the future intermixing with the present that would be amazing. And the power of the magic needs to be entirely in the map itself, so it will work for anyone. Or anywhere.”

“The fuck is Noah on about? The fuck is even happening here?”

“Very interesting. Also, wonderous is not a word.”

“No, he pulled the same shit with TAM! This is just random nonsense!”

“Once again I have to disagree with you, Gina. This all feels very deliberate. I am intrigued where this is all going.”

“Well, we sure as shit won't find out anytime soon. The most recent chapter has the ship attacked by Lizards and with how lazy wilparu is this will probably take ages to finish. Wilparu released 40 chapters last year. Do you know how many he released this year?”

“I feel we already made that joke.”

“Well, maybe he should actually start fucking finishing his stories!”

“He did say he originally planed for 20 chapters. We are currently at chapter 42 with no end in sight. Truly the George R. R. Martin of porn.”

“Whatever, lets talk characters. There's a lot of them. The crew is like 14 or something?”

“But I think wilparu did a good job of making them all stand out. They all have different personalities and Noah does remind us who the less prominent are by subtly weaving in small recaps. Really very nicely done.”

“Marcie's dicksucking aside, even I admit that the names in this story actually don't fucking suck for a change.”

“The writing itself is as stellar as expected. I particularly enjoyed the worldbuilding in this one. With that said...”

Not for the first time, she recognized that that he cared for the crew greatly

The blade pressed just hard enough to let Noah he was serious.

most of the reason the it was not often used.

Perhaps, but while she could cause some mischief with our rudder perhaps my understanding is she essentially is just be a large, smart great seal who may know some minor dust magic

“It is not infallible. There are some typos and other mistakes in it.”

“Not everyone can be a robot like Jerk.”

“And I do believe that covers most of it? It is a story I can definitely recommend. I am actually surprised that wilparu planned to have this one be on the shorter side. It almost feels like a waste to abandon this world he created.”

“Eh, he is probably doing some fancy bullshit like starting another story and call it Book 2 or some pretentious shit like that.”

“Perhaps, I deliberately danced around the mystery and major plot points here since spoiling them would be such a shame. I really urge our listeners who like fantasy and fancy a more unconventional setting to give this one a read. I don't think you will be disappointed.”

“Meh, you overhype it. There is no lesbian sex in it and despite the majority of it taking place on a boat there was not a single shark.”

“Well, it is on a river.”

“A river with fucking whales in it!”

“Alright, should we close this with the characters? Who is your favorite?”

“Hitty is obviously best girl.”

“chuckle, how predictable.”

“So, who's your pick? Oh, let me guess, its the fucking captain!”

“I like here. Incidentally, her scene was the closest I came to getting off. But she is not my favorite.”

“Which girl is then?”

“Yutu.”

“That is not a girl!”

“Now, I am not speaking in a sexual way, but there is something very nice of two guys making out. Their little dicks twitching in nervous excitement as they gingerly explore their bodies. So familiar and yet so exotic. And then when they finally have the courage to plunge into that one hole that is available to them...”

Baaaaarf

“...I should have seen this coming.”