The Spanking Spriggan.

“When in doubt, go for the tavern.” David confidently proclaims. “There we will find the Fundamental Three F's of Life!”

“Three F's?” Sandra innocently asks before you, and the rest of the party, can wave her off, knowing that she has unwittingly set up the wise-cracking thief.

“Feasting, Fighting and Fucking!” David, playing Ragnar the Ravagener, slams the table with great authority. “Pub grub, bar fights and wenching, what else is there in life?”

“Not much else, I would guess.” The good natured cleric shakes her head in disagreement, but with an amused grin.

“Alright.” Saul, playing the fallen ranger Sir Michael Dupré, agrees. “But lets not start a scene that will bring the guards. We need to lay low and find a way to sneak out of the city.”

“I hate bars.” Brian, the playing Sir Robert Alwell, complains. “We always end up in bars. I'm a holy paladin for heaven's sake.”

“I hate them too.” Vivian, puts her hand around Brian's shoulders, comforting her boyfriend. “We'll sit back and watch the doofus make an ass of himself.”

“You approach a large, and very seedy looking tavern on the waterfront.” You try to take back control of the conversation. “The sign above the entrance depicts a very ugly gnome like creature with a fierce looking switch chasing a terrified succubus.”

“What's a succubus?” Sandra asks with an innocent expression. “And I don't get why a gnome is carrying a light switch. Could you explain that?”

“Umm.” You fumble your words as the woman playing Rae the cleric calmly looks you directly in the eyes, waiting for an answer.

“Pfft.” David spurts, “he's turning red.”

“I think Sandra just outed our illustrious DM.” Saul piles on, which brings an agreeing chuckle from Brian and Vivian.

“How?” Sandra asks, while not taking her gaze from you. In fact her head cocks just a bit on an angle, even more intrigued while studying your reaction.

“A succubus is a female demon of seduction, sexuality and perversion.” Saul throws you completely under the bus. “And a switch is a rod made of wood used to whip and spank people.”

“Yeah, so that means Stephen's got spanking a sexy ass on his mind.” David delivers another body blow.

“I do not!” You try to defend yourself. “'The Spanking Spriggan is the name of the tavern given in the module! It isn't my idea.”

“And the sign with a succubus and the switch?” Your best friend Saul smiles, going in for the kill. “Is that in the module? Could we see the picture?”

“Ahh . . . Umm . . .” You're completely tongue tied.

The whole party bursts into loud, uproariously laughter, solely at your expense.

“Can't say I don't blame him, though, considering the audience.” David knowingly winks at Sandra.

“All men are pigs.” Vivian shakes her head.

“Now that I think of it, the main villain of this campaign is a Type V female demoness with a whip.” Brian opines.

Saul just takes a satisfied sip of his soda, quite pleased that a mere player has been able to best the all powerful Dungeon Master.

“Everyone needs a hobby, I guess.” Even Sandra, the newest player joins in, her eyes never leaving the study of you.