The Saint

“Your next Companion also has a deep connection to the ocean. Just like the castaway she spent her whole life on a small island. ” As Amora spoke, shards of coloured glass hurled across the sky, to assemble into something like a church-window. It showed a shapely woman wearing something that looked a bit like a nuns habit, clutching an ornate key in prayer. “The third in a line of Saints chosen by the Singer Below to spread a message of love and peace to the townsfolk of her small coastal community. ” a temple atop a cliff was added in the background behind the woman.

“Alas” Amora continued “The voice promising the faithful the Key to Understanding proved to be…. not a god at all. ” more shards of stained glass appeared, assembling first to show the bottom of the womans robe to be caked in a tarry substance and then a huge cavern in the earth beneath her feet. People were plunging themselves from a hole in the cave wall into a lake of the same oily substance that stained the womans’ robes.

“Many of you wondered what happened to the denizens of that town after our heroes silenced the hypnotic song of the Dweller Below.” the image of the cave broke apart and reassembled to show the cavern collapsing while black tenacles rose from the lake to grasp at the retreating adventurers.

“Well wonder no longer, for it is time to welcome: The Saint!”

The Saint stared out onto the ocean, wondering if that damnable woman had decided to just leave her here after all. Sure Amora had put on an uncaring front when she was questioned about the legality of the situation, but she reeked of middle management.

Maybe she’d decided to conveniently ‘forget’ the Saint here, to avoid justifying her action to the Ethics Committee that supposedly signed off on this. “ ‘Reality Engineering is where trolley problems go to die’ my ass” the Saint muttered. The only way something like this would get past any kind of ethics board was by fudging the application with technicalities. She wasn’t a lawyer, but she had run into more than her fair share of these tricks at works. “In their web of facts many a truth is strangled.” She repeated something her daughter had said once.

Probably before storming off to have a teenage temper tantrum that involved extremely loud music blaring from her room and/or shitposting on social media.

Her daughter.

Who didn’t remember the Saint even existed.

Another thing that couldn’t be legal!

The woman looked down, but instead of seeing the waves crashing against the cliff below she mostly saw her own cleavage. Because of course Jeff would be the kind of immature ass to prefer a hooters-barbie to a real woman. And no matter what the host said, there was no way these ridiculous things weren’t for his benefit. Fucking creep!

Another thing on the long list of things the Ethics Committee needed to be informed about. That entire show was going to go down in flames!

A door appeared in front of her, and the saint straightened her shoulders.

Ok, gameface on. The important thing now was to not give them an inch.

When the next contestant strode out of the smoke, Jeff belatedly realized the stained glass hadn’t done her justice. With the odd coloration and her hands clasped in front of her chest, Jeff hadn’t even noticed those robes had a boob window. Or the way her robe was straining to contain the biggest boobs Jeff had ever seen that weren’t on a screen.

“My face is up here.” The newcomer crossed her arms in front of her enormous cleavage, visibly annoyed. “Off to a great start I see. ” The Saint muttered as she made her way down the stairs.

Even scowling down at him like that, she was still a striking woman. Her chestnut curls framed a face that was very much greater than the sum of it’s parts. Her jaw and eyebrows for example were too prominent to be conventionally attractive, but without them her large luminous hazel eyes and wide generous lips would have looked exaggerated. The entire proportions of her face were a bit odd, but in a pleasant way. And the same went for her body. Like shoulders that were very wide for a woman, but went a long way to make her prodigious bust seem more proportional and enhanced her hourglass silhouette.

“I am sorry, it’s just….” Jeff started, before realizing that <Who wouldn’t stare at those?> wasn’t going to win him any points. So instead he just reiterated “I am sorry. That was very impolite.”

“Yes.” She agreed. “ Of course whoever designed this ridiculous outfit is to blame too “ she gave Amora an icy look “Let’s just get this over with and bring in the next victim.”

Jeffs head jerked around to the host “What does she mean by victim? Because so far none of these girls look really happy to be here.”

Amora looked about ready to strangle the newcomer who stared back defiantly. “Well,” Amora bit out between clenched teeth “I do have to admit the contestants departure was about as abrupt as yours. And I thought ” she glared at the priestess “ we had talked about this. ”

The other woman gave a dismissive snort “Yes. But nobody said anything about having to pretend to actually like this sick game of yours. He tried to……”

Amora made a sweeping gesture with her free hand and the world seemed to lurch. The brunettes mouth was still moving but no sound came out. “Careful.” The host warned “Loose lips sink ships. Or at least your chances to win the first challenge. This will be the one and only time I mess with peoples short term memory to cover for you. Now sit ” another sweeping gesture and the Priestess threw herself (or was thrown?) into a nearby seat “down and be quiet while I deal with this.”

Jeff took an instinctive step backwards as Amora turned towards him “I do apologize brave hero.” The hosts said with a fake smile that barely covered her annoyance “ It is a hoary Harem Hotel tradition to have at least, one bitter ex-girlfriend, workplace rival or other such contestant with a troubled relationship towards the master. I promise on my honor as the master of ceremonies that our Priestess here has fantasized more than once about taking you into her bed. ”

“I can’t speak for the others, of course.” A posh British voice rose in support, while Jeff was still pondering whether or not he could actually trust the host “But I don’t mind being here. ”

It was pretty obvious Amora hadn’t expected to find an ally there, but was quick to pounce on the opportunity “You see, dear hero. Harem Hotel: Adventure Edition isn’t nearly as sinister as our Priestess makes it sound.”

“Oh, it may very well be sinister.” The posh British voice cut in again, which was -very obviously- not what the host wanted to hear. “But so far it might be a deal that’s worth putting up with the poofy dress and heels. How about you?” the Princess nudged her redhaired companion, who had been trying to sink into her seat as deep as possible ever since the conflict began. The amazon mumbled something “She said it might be an improvement. ” the royal translated, getting a nod of confirmation from the other girl.

“See. There is no need to worry, brave hero. “ Amora assured Jeff ”Most seasons aren’t about tormenting contestants as they are twisted into unwilling sex-slaves. ”

Jeff didn’t miss the implications of ‘most season’ , but that was something to worry about later. Right now he didn’t get the impression the Princess or the Castaway had been lying. But…

“If she doesn’t want to be here,” Jeff indicated towards the brunette “it’s hardly fair to keep her prisoner. ”

“I suppose it is not. ” Amora agreed solemnly “ But this is an Isekai-Fantasy. Our Priestess here has been reborn in another world after her old one ended. Meaning there is no old life for her to return to. Unless…” Amora forestalled Jeffs protest “ unless she does well enough to win this seasons wish. “

“Wish?”

“But of course brave champion.” The host nodded “ You and your companions were brought here from another world. And before the finale you will witness many other amazing feats of magic. If they wish for it setting one of your companions up with a new identity is not a problem of all. Even if the identity is one extremely similar to the life they left behind. ”

“So if I win the wish…..” Jeff began.

“You brave Champion are the exception. Using Truck-kun was just a little joke. You weren’t actually fated to be run over by a delivery truck in the middle of the woods. Your life is still waiting for you once the wicked demon-queen is vanquished.” The wave of relief sweeping through Jeff made him completely miss Amoras next words.

“Err I am sorry. Could you repeat that.”

“I said, only the companion who did the most to support the hero will receive a wish. You, dear champion, will have to be content with getting the titular harem.”

“She really doesn’t look like she wants to be in any kind of harem. Especially mine.” Jeff said, looking at the Priestess.

“Well she should have thought of that before…. doing what she did.” Amora retorted ” She is your companion now. And as the Heroes’ companion she will have to earn the blessing of the Celestial Choir by supporting you as best she can, or be at the mercy of Lilianes Dark Masters and their fiendish curses. If she doesn’t get eliminated all together. ”

That didn’t sound good. That didn’t sound good at all. “Eliminated? What happens if she gets eliminated? ”

Amora sighed “I really wanted to wait until all the companions are assembled to avoid repeating myself, but since she **** my hand ” an annoyed sideways glance towards the priestess “Maybe it is time to go over the rules. ”