The Sacrifices We Make

Kingdom of Mercia

The candles in her room burned. She listened closely. It was late. Everyone had to be resting in their chambers, she thought as a naughty grin appeared on her face. She left her bed and reached for her cloak which lay across the foot of the bed. Just as she attempted to put it on, her door opened, “Cousin?” she said with a surprised look.

Darleen smiled. She had a tray with two cups, a pitcher, and baked goods, “Yes, it’s me. I thought we’d enjoy some milk and bread before we sleep. It’s been a long time since we’ve had our nightly talks. You’ve been busy.”

Winfred made a face, “Busy? No, I’ve been exhausted. Soon, I’ll be married and—”

“No worries. Let’s just eat and talk,” she said as she walked over to the small table by the chair in the room. She placed the tray down, turned to her cousin, and handed her a cup and a piece of sweet bread.

“Ummm,” Winfred said as she tasted the bread. It was nice and warm, “I will miss our baker. She makes the best bread.”

“Indeed she does. I’ll miss her too.”

Winfred made a face, “Why is that?” she asked out of curiosity.

Darleen wore a gorgeous necklace with blue stones. She toyed with it as she spoke, “Because I am coming with you. I am not staying in Mercia. I will be wherever you are.”

Winfred smiled, “It will be nice to have a familiar face there with me in North Umbria.”

“And, of course, I plan to win over Prince Liam.”

Winfred’s eyes were glazed over; she yawned, “Heavens, pardon me.”

“Are you okay, dear cousin?”

“Yes, perhaps, I should rest now.”

Darleen stood, “Yes, perhaps you should. Sweet dreams,” she said as she stood and left.

Winfred fought the drowsiness. She had a mission. Arledge was waiting for her. She longed to feel him once more. She didn’t have many nights left. She reached for her cloak. She placed one arm inside, and before she knew it, she fell back onto her bed.

*****

The room was dark. He was already in bed anticipating her arrival. When the door opened, “Winfred, my love, finally,” he said sweetly.

“Close your eyes,” she said softly.

He chuckled and complied with her request. The footsteps got closer and stopped. He lay on his back. She wrapped a cloth around his eyes. He felt the warmth of her cunt as she rocked her hips. He hummed nicely, “Kiss me,” he said.

Her hand covered his mouth. She humped faster and wildly, bucking on his cock like she was riding a bull. This felt different. This wasn’t what he was used to with his sweet princess. He reached for the cloth over his eyes. Just as he peeled the left side off, he saw her face. He went into a panic.

She gave a sinister smile, “Tonight, you will leave. I have made arrangements for you to study at a monastery in Frankia.”

He pushed her off his drenched cock, “I don’t understand.”

She lit a candle in his room, “I’m sure you understand perfectly,” she replied as she adjusted herself, “I know that you love Princess Winfred,” she sighed, “I just never thought you’d betray your King and your Queen by defiling our daughter.”

He gulped, “But we’re in love.”

She scoffed, “That is sweet. However--”

The doors opened; two menacing men stood there, “I need you to write a letter to Winfred. Tell her that you are leaving.”

“I can’t,” he said as his eyes watered.

The guard drew his sword. She held up her hand, “And why not?”

“I can’t read or write.”

She sighed, “Fine. I’ll figure something out.” She eyed him impatiently, “Well, go on then, get your things. The morning will be here before we know it.”

Arledge moved about the room collecting his things. He didn’t have much. What he most valued, he couldn’t take. All of these things were loaded into a gray sack. He looked back at Queen Godgifu, “I know I am not worthy of marriage to the princess, but you do not have to do this.

For a moment, she felt torn. She sighed. Just as she was about to speak, Darleen entered the room. The guards grabbed Arledge and shoved him toward the door, “Have fun in Frankia,” she sneered.

He snatched her necklace from her neck. She gasped when she saw it flying through the air. It landed on the floor by the Queen’s feet near the bed. “You are despicable,” he said to her as they shoved him out the door.

She hurried over to the Queen, who lifted the jewel and handed it to her. Darleen’s eyes watered, “My mother gave me this before she died. Now it’s nearly ruined,” she whined as she looked at the item.

“It's not ruined. It simply has character,” the Queen replied.

*****

The morning arrived; the day started with breakfast in the royal dining hall. The King and Queen were sitting at the table when Darleen entered. She greeted them before she took her seat. They spoke briefly while the food was placed on the table.

Minutes went by, and then, finally, King Charles looked at the seat where his daughter usually sat, “Where is Winfred?” he asked.

Darleen shrugged, “Perhaps she is still sleeping.”

“Is she okay? It’s not like her to sleep this long.”

Darleen looked at the Queen, who was tight-lipped. However, the two women seemed to have a conversation with their eyes, “I’ll go see what’s keeping her,” said Darleen.

Queen Godgifu smiled, “Thank you so much, Darleen.” She reached for her husband’s hand, “I’m sure she’s fine. We can eat.”

He smiled, “You are right, my love.”

*******

Darleen reached her cousin’s bedroom door. She took a few breaths before tapping on the heavy wooden door, “Cousin?” she said as she stepped through. She saw Winfred still lying across the foot of the bed with her cloak half on, “Oh dear,” she said as she hurried over to her. She nudged her, “Winfred?”

Winfred’s eyes fluttered open, “What, where, ughhh,” she sat up slowly with the assistance of her cousin, “my head.”

“We were worried when you didn’t come to eat. Are you all right?”

Winfred looked around her room. Her heart pounded against her chest. She felt panic. She grabbed her chest, “Is it morning?”

Darleen nodded, “Yes.”

Winfred’s eyes misted over; she held back her tears. She got out of bed and paced frantically. Darleen watched her, “Winfred, what is wrong?” she asked her cousin who looked troubled.

“Nothing. I just. I need a moment. Please tell my father I am fine. I will see him later.”

Darleen stared. Her lips parted, “Are you—”

“Please!” she snapped.

Darleen clutched her necklace. She felt a stone missing. “Very well. I will speak to you later, cousin.”

Winfred paced her room. She missed her date with Arledge. She quickly found suitable attire, got dressed, combed her hair, and left her room.

*****

Scandinavia

The water was covered with ships. The rowers were diligent. They were already a distance from the port. Ida and Yana stood at the edge of the dock. They watched the warriors sail away. Yana was still in her wedding gown. Her face had specks of blood from their wedding ceremony. Her love was leaving. She waited eagerly for him to turn to her. She wanted to believe that perhaps their marriage wasn’t one of convenience. She hoped it could blossom into love.

Sven stood next to Sigurd. Sven looked back. His eyes were on Ida. His wife stood at a distance. She saw how he looked at Ida. She huffed and left the docks. Yana didn’t get the look she wanted but she was still hopeful.

She turned to Ida, “I’m surprised you decided not to go with Sigurd.”

Ida smiled inwardly and responded, “My brother left me in charge. He trusts me to keep things running in his absence.”

Yana rolled her eyes, “Sigurd and I are married.”

Ida shifted her stance, “So you thought that he’d leave you in charge? A woman who barely speaks our language. Barely understands our culture or people. As if you could defend or devise a plan of attack against someone who wanted to come here and kill everyone.”

Yana remained quiet. Ida shook her head and walked off.

*****

After the run-in with Ida, Yana found herself walking through the forest. She found the Seer’s hut. She knocked and entered. The Seer smiled, “Yana, the wife of Jarl Sigurd. How does it feel?”

Yana sighed, “I don’t know yet. I thought I’d be happier, but—”

“Sometimes the things we hope for do not make us happy. You wanted to be free. You are free. You are married and with child.”

Yana’s eyes widened as she touched her belly, “I am with child?”

The Seer nodded, “You are. Find a reason to be happy now.” She saw how Yana sat; she looked defeated, “What is the matter?”

“Ida. I don’t think she likes me.”

Astrid shrugged, “What does it matter?”

“Sigurd trusts her. He left her in charge.”

“She is his sister.”

“I am his wife.”

“Last night, you were a ****. This morning you married Jarl Sigurd. Trust is earned.”

Yana stood and handed her a few coins. Astrid watched her leave and sighed.

*****

Ife, Northwest Africa

Yande pointed, “Look there,” she said smiling, “we are here.”

Aminata looked past the trees. She was there. She was back in her village. She saw the people walking to and from. The women carried baskets with grace on top of their heads. Some balanced with one hand and the more experienced ones walked steadily without holding their baskets.

Men were fast at work doing things in the village. Some worked on houses, and others worked in the gardens with their wives. It was busy like she remembered it. As they walked down the dusty path, people looked. They pointed. Some whispered.

One older woman said to another, “Is that Aminata?”

She felt their eyes on her. Some looked happy to see her. Others were surprised. There was one home, the largest one in the village, where several people funneled outside and watched. Her heart beat fast. Joaquin rubbed her arms, “It’s going to be okay.”

She nodded. It had to be. She took a deep breath. She stopped and stared into a woman that shared her face, only she was older. She wrapped her arms around her, “ọmọbinrin mi ti pada,” she said happily, “My daughter has returned.”

Her sister scowled at her, “We thought you were dead.”

“How? I sent many letters and money here for Mother and Father.” She looked at her brother Enofe. He looked away.

“We never received anything,” her sister replied as she looked at the people who accompanied Aminata, “who is going to feed all of these people?”

“Don’t worry. We brought our provisions.”

She kissed her teeth, “All these years, and you come back when Baba is near dead. If you had not left things so badly with the Nneka, perhaps she could have helped our father.”

Their mother sighed, “No fighting. No arguing. This is a happy day. My husband may go on to be with the ancestors but my daughter has come home,” she said as she looked at her oldest daughter, “and look at these beautiful children.”

“Children by a pale face,” her sister mumbled.

Yande eyed her aunt in a way to make her look away. Aminata touched her arm, “This is Yande.”

Yande hugged her grandmother warmly, “Hi, iya agba.”

“You’ve taught them Yoruba,” she said to her cheerfully.

“Yes. This is Samba, our son.”

He hugged his grandmother and smiled, “Inu mi dun lati pade yin.”

“It’s nice to meet you as well.” She looked at Joaquin and smiled, “Where is my hug?”

He smiled and embraced her. His mother-in-law was kind to him in the past. She only warned him that people would not like him being with an African witch. It was foretold that one of the Warrior witches would give birth to a child with incredible powers. The other would give birth to a child that was cursed.

Nneka was with child at the same time Aminata was carrying Yande. She created the story that a child with a pale-faced man would be cursed. Everyone thought of Aminata as a traitor for sleeping with an outsider and carrying his child.

“Come inside. Everyone.”

They followed Grandmother Chiagoze into the house. Enofe was with his sour-faced wife and their children. She also saw her sister’s children and her aunts. They greeted her. They asked many questions. There were things she didn’t want to discuss in front of her children. Too many things that reminded her of that time she had to flee for her safety.

“Where is, Baba?” she asked.

“I’ll show you,” her sister said.

“Why don’t you let the old man rest,” Enofe barked.

“Ahh, be quiet Enofe,” Zauna said as she led Aminata to a room that was closed off with a garment that hung from the top of the door.

Aminta saw their father lying motionless. She wondered if he had already gone to be with the ancestors.

She touched his hand. A smile emerged on his face, “Aminata,” he whispered shakily.

Tears streamed from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.

“He just lies here. Somewhere between life and ****. I wish that you could help him. Is there any way—”

“No. Not after what she tried to do to me and my family. Maybe—”

“What are you two doing? Leave the man alone,” barked Enofe as he barged into the room with fire in his eyes.

Aminata sucked her teeth, “I came here to see my father. And that’s what I am doing.”

“I don’t know why you’ve come. There is nothing you can do to help him. He’s as good as dead. Save your tears. Take your pale-faced husband and children and go.”

“I can see...opolo re ko si nkan nkan sibe.” Which meant, “I can see there’s still nothing in your brain.”

He hissed before tossing the cloth aside and leaving the room.

Zauna smirked, “He has become more insufferable as the years have passed.”

“How does his wife deal with him?”

“Who else wants her? They are perfect for each other.”

She hugged her sister, “I have missed you Zauna.”

“I have missed you as well; I was only angry because you left me here to deal with that fool. He has had a hard time. That is why he moved back here with all of their children. I don’t know what he is doing, but I’m sure it is something stupid.”

Aminata sighed. They both looked at their father. “He was doing well. Then one day, he became ill. I swear I think it is a curse," Zauna implied.

Aminata’s left eyebrow lifted, “But who?”

She shrugged, “I do not know. We have asked around. One high priestess says the curse was meant to kill him. But for some reason, Baba holds on to life. I know he is not ready to be with the ancestors. We have even made offerings to Babalu Aye. The curse is too strong.”

“Maybe there is something we can do?”

“How?” her sister asked out of desperation, “No one knows where Nneka is. And you can’t do it.”

“Perhaps Yande can.”

“Your daughter. She’s barely a woman. How can a child possess such gifts? Besides, everyone knows that those children are cursed.”

My children are not cursed,” Aminata snapped. “They both have gifts but Yande. She has something like I’ve never witnessed in any witch. Abosede speaks to her.”

Her eyes widened at first but she scoffed, “How do you know she isn’t just pretending.”

“Well, let me go get her and you will see.” Aminata left the room and returned with Yande by her side. She walked slowly toward her grandfather who lay motionless. She looked back at her mother. Her mother touched her shoulder, “You can do it, Yande.”

Yande gulped, “I don’t know. I have never tried it on a person before. Only on injured animals.”

Her mother rubbed her shoulders. Her sister shook her head, “I told you that girl has no gifts.”

Yande eyed her aunt. She gulped. She touched her grandfather’s hand. Her body froze. Her eyes went almost white. The women watched Yande as she stood. Physically, her body was present, but her mother knew she was someplace else.

There was a field of beautiful flowers and a towering tree with so many leaves it looked like a giant afro in the sky. Yande moved closer. She saw her great-grandmother Abosede sitting speaking with a man. She smiled when she saw his face.

He smiled, “Omo, Omo, mi,” which meant, “My granddaughter.” He reached for her hand, “My mother says that you have come to help me.”

“I hope I can. I’ve never tried it with a human before.”

“You can do it, Yande—”

Suddenly she felt disturbed in her spirit. “I think I have to go now.”

Her grandfather sighed, “Enofe,” he grumbled, “be very careful around your uncle. Come to me when no one is around.”

She nodded.

Suddenly her body collapsed. She was on the floor with her aunt and mother hovering over her calling her name.

“Get that girl away from my father,” Enofe hissed.

Aminata lifted Yande, by then Joaquin and her mother entered the room, “What is the matter?” her mother questioned with concern, “what happened to my grandchild?”

Joaquin took Yande from Aminata’s arms, “Take her outside for some air.” He nodded and helped her out of the room.

“What happened here?” her mother asked again.

“That foolish girl was standing over father. Who knows what she was trying to do.”

“She was trying to save him,” replied Zauna.

“Save, him?” he scoffed.

“She was only spending time with him,” said Aminata, “he is her grandfather and she deserves a chance to be with him.”

He watched as his sister stomped away, “Crazy woman and her cursed children.”

“You are the one that is crazy,” said Zauna as she left the room.

His mother scowled at him. He shrugged, “What? I suppose this is my fault.”

She rolled her eyes and left him standing there. He looked over at his father and muttered, “Foolish old man, what are you waiting for to go be with your ancestors?”

“You will pay for what you did to me,” he heard. He looked at his father. He was shaken, he felt like he was out of his mind. He approached his father and looked at him. He waited and he didn’t hear it again. He breathed a sigh of relief and left the room.

*****

Kingdom of Merica

As fast as her feet could carry her, she ended up at the place where Arledge stayed, swiftly, the door opened and there she stood hoping to see her greatest love. Her heart sank deep in the pits of her belly. She took several breaths and spoke to herself quietly as she moved about the small space hoping to find some answers.

She stared at the bed. Her mind flashed to the first time he filled her center. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She searched every inch of the space. Yet all signs pointed to her worst fear, _he left, but why? _She wondered. They still had several days to enjoy each other, did he not want that?

She bawled and plopped down onto the bed. “Why, Arledge?” she asked out loud. She gulped and took a few more breaths as she wiped the tears from her eyes. Before she stood, her eyes caught a glimpse of something exquisite, a blue stone. She reached down and picked up the shiny object. She studied it for several moments. “Hmm,” she said before taking it with her as she left.

As she walked back to the castle, her mind was flooded with questions. She wanted answers but she didn’t want to arouse suspicions. She was so lost in thought that when Father Avery greeted her, she walked right by him without speaking.

Father Avery paused in the hall and watched with concern as Winfred walked in a daze. He turned. His eyes rested on the Queen. “Queen Godgifu, how are you?” he asked cheerfully.

“I am well, Father Avery.”

“Everyone is excited about the upcoming wedding between Prince Oswald and Princess Winfred.”

She smiled, “Yes, we all are.”

He sighed, “Is she all right ?”

Her head tilted, “Whatever do you mean?”

“I saw her moments ago and she seemed, I don’t know a bit...different.”

“You mean strange?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to say strange but yes.”

“I’m sure she’s fine. Becoming a wife brings many responsibilities. I’ll speak with her,” she said as she left him standing in the hall.

*****

After an extensive search, Queen Godgifu went to the one place she had not ever set foot. She dared not go into the bed chamber of the former Queen. Even though she had the King’s love, she knew how much he loved his former wife.

Slowly, her hand pushed open the door. She stood at the threshold as if something were keeping her from entering. She saw Princess Winfred sitting on the bed. She never looked up. “Winfred,” she said from the doorway.

Winfred did not move. She called her once more and again until finally, she decided to cross over. Slowly, she walked toward her stepdaughter, she touched her chin, “Winfred, what is the matter?” she asked with great concern.

Her eyes connected with the Queen’s, “Were you happy when your father sold you off to marry my father?”

She nearly gasped at the question, “I heard that your father was a kind man and that’s not something most men with power are.”

She nodded, “But do you love him.”

“Of course I love him. Why are you asking these things?”

She shook her head, “I have never liked the idea that we as women have to sacrifice ourselves giving up everything so the men can hold on to power.”

The Queen saw the look of hurt and anger on her stepdaughter’s face. She knew what she meant. “We do what we must but we can still be powerful.”

“How? I don’t understand. I feel powerless. I am to marry a Prince that I do not love and I am sure that he does not love me. Where is the power in that?”

She reached for her hands and watched her stand, “in time, you will learn how to be a good wife. He will love you and believe me there will be power in that. He will lean on you for many things. There is power in that. Our lives are not easy but they are our lives and we learn to live them and with God’s grace, we live them with whatever pleasures we can find along the way.”

Winfred’s eyes teared up, “Did you know that Arledge has left?”

“I heard it. One of the guards saw him leaving late last night. When he questioned Arledge, he said he no longer wanted to be in our service.”

Winfred sniffled a few times. The realization that Arledge was gone finally set in. She took a deep breath, “Well then, I suppose I should prepare myself to become the new Princess of North Umbria.”

The queen smiled and touched her face, “I too loved a man before I wedded your father. My mother taught me a trick to tighten everything up down there so things are not called into question.” She said with an eyebrow lifted.

“A man can tell that?”

She smiled, “The ones that pay attention to a woman’s body can. I can teach you if you like or perhaps it’s not needed. I don’t want to assume anything.”