The Rules of the Show!

With a resounding clap bolstered by the auditorium’s excellent acoustics, Esther began her monologue.

“Alright! Everyone here and accounted for. Now, let me officially welcome you to the best game show in the multiverse, Harem Hotel!”

Esther delivered the title with emphasis, pausing for dramatic effect.

“First, a little backstory. Cedarwood College has been struggling financially for a while now. Your poor Master Fiona has been working through the budget all night, making some very hard decisions. Now, we here at Harem Hotel have always been big supporters of higher education. Where better to find such a delectable collection of eligible young ladies?”

A wave of disgusted grimaces crossed the audience’s faces.

“So we decided to give your Master a boost! We’ve stepped in with a large anonymous donation. Enough to make sure Cedarwood won’t have to worry about finances ever again.”

“Our donation policy specifically forbids large anonymous donations,” Fiona icily interjected, “we try hard to avoid association with unscrupulous billionaires who would damage the reputation of the college.”

“Then there’s no problem!” Esther laughed. “Our producers are nothing so mundane as regular old billionaires! But please, give me a chance to finish.”

The host continued, unperturbed. “Poor Master Fiona was still single and lonely. So, in our infinite kindness, we decided to give her a harem! We chose eight special gals, each with an association to Cedarwood – students, alumni, professors, and even a dropout! Yes, that’s you lucky contestants. From this point forwards, for now and forever, you are bound – to your Master – and to the campus of Cedarwood College itself. But, what exactly that looks like, will depend on you.

Over the course of the next several weeks, you will take part in a game to determine your place in the harem. Your status in the harem will be determined by your Victory Points, also called VP. Bonus Points, or BP, can be used throughout campus at a variety of shops. It will be up to you do discover what can be purchased. There are some very powerful items for sale, but beware – many upsides are balanced by a downside!

Now, how can you earn these coveted VP and BP? I shall explain!

VP are earned in two ways.

Firstly: at the beginning of each round, every nine days, we will hold a challenge – a game in which you will compete with each other. Those who do well will gain VP. Those who do poorly will lose them. The stakes will increase with every round, so don’t give up if you fall behind!

Secondly: in order to encourage you to enjoy your new sisterhood, and especially your new Master, we will award VP for acts of physical intimacy. Of course, intimacy with your Master will award the most points, but acts between contestants will award some too. Each act only counts the first time you do it – so go for some variety! And be quick – the first contestant to perform an act will receive double points.

BP, on the other hand, can be earned in a variety of ways. You’ll gain BP from our weekly popularity poll. Those who place well will earn more, but everyone will get a few. If you explore our lovely campus, you may find quests that yield BP upon completion. Finally, some of you may receive transformations that yield BP.

Transformations! Yes, lets talk transformations, the highlight of the show! Once at the beginning, and again each round, after the competition, you will be subject to one of three magical transformations, chosen by our viewers (and me – I get two vetoes)! Each option will be related to a “pathway” – a road, guided by some aspect of your past or personality, to a new and improved, super sexy version of yourself! One of those pathways will always be related to your subject matter of expertise, or what you studied or taught here at Cedarwood. As for the others - well, it's pretty much a free for all.

Now, this part you really want to pay attention to. The severity of your transformations will be influenced by both your VP, and your results in the challenge. Do well? Expect something light, maybe even beneficial! Do poorly, or fall behind? Well, I won’t sugarcoat it, it’ll be rough.

Here’s the important bit. If, at the end of a challenge, your VP are below 0, you lose the game. You’ll no longer compete in future challenges, and you’ll suffer an elimination transformation. Trust me, you really, really don’t want to be eliminated. There’ll be a grace period till the first challenge only – after that, stay sharp.

And no, elimination’s not a means of escape. You’ll still be bound to the Master and Cedarwood. Oh, and just to really motivate you – get eliminated before you reach 50 VP, and someone you care about will take your place!

The game ends when someone reaches 100 VP. The winner will receive a single wish. You may not unbind yourself or any other contestant from the harem. Nor may you undo any transformation. Nor may you make any stupid wishes like wishing for more wishes, or world peace, or anything like that. But everything else is pretty much fair game.”

Esther paused, taking in the reactions of the crowd. Bianca, her face etched with panic, still clutched Brooke’s frozen hand. Etta and Christina glared with grim determination; Fiona and Carmen with determination and rage. Polina remained utterly impassive, only an occasional twitch of the eyebrow betraying the worry within. Carolyn sat glum and fearful, shoulders hunched, Ms. Bungis suffering her rhythmic nervous squeezes. Maisie, arms clutched around her bare breasts, looked exhausted and resigned, and… was that a hint of arousal? Surely not.

“Now, just one more little twist!”

Continued Esther, her smile suddenly, and only barely, betraying a whisper of nervousness,

"You may be wondering why this season is called Catastrophe at Cedarwood College. Well, it turns out that Cedarwood has come down with just a teensy weensy infestation of extradimensional tentacle creatures. They like to hide in dark places, pick off stragglers, and do unspeakable things to them. I’ve herded most of them up – they’ll be appearing as obstacles during a few of the challenges – but, just be a bit careful when you walk around campus, especially the outskirts. The big ones will slowly drain your VP if they catch you. And, if you can’t escape within a full 24 hours, I’ll come rescue you, but I’m afraid that’s an automatic elimination. So make sure to check on your teammates! Or don’t, if you’d rather get rid of the competition.

Fortunately, your transformations will come with a variety of great bonuses for defeating the tentacles! Aren’t I nice? That said, I do really recommend making an effort to eliminate them all. Unfortunately, whichever ones you can’t kill at the end of the season, will stick around on campus. Only, you won’t be able to notice them anymore. Only their victims will notice them, and only while they’re being… victimized. So to save the Cedarwood students some future molestation, it would be best to get rid of them while you can.

Finally, just a few last pieces of logistics. Each day, excluding challenge days, one of you will be selected to spend the night in the Master’s quarters. There’s only one bed, and you’ll be expected to share it. Nothing else is required of you, but you must be in the Master’s quarters by 8 PM sharp. In the meantime, the rest of you will be staying in the dorms. You’ll be rooming in pairs that will shuffle after each challenge. No swapping rooms; its good to get comfortable with each other. And way more fun for the audience that way.

Now, that’s a lot of moving parts to keep track of, so all point totals, the order in which you’ll sleep with the master, and, as a bonus, the exact number of remaining tentacles of each size, will be displayed right here on this chalkboard!"

Esther snapped her fingers. A gigantic chalkboard on a sturdy wooden frame appeared behind the group. A jumble of high pitched, grating shrieks filled the air as a dozen pieces of chalk flew up and down the board, finally resulting in a neat table:

Maisie Miller - VP: 12 | BP: 0 | Night W/ Master: 1

Brooke Braun - VP: 6 | BP: 0 | Night W/ Master: 4

Etta Edwards - VP: 2 | BP: 0 | Night W/ Master: 3

Carolyn Chang - VP: 0 | BP: 0 | Night W/ Master: 2

Bianca Boswell - VP: 0 | BP: 0 | Night W/ Master: 5

Christina Chapman - VP: 0 | BP: 0 | Night W/ Master: 6

Polina Petrochenko - VP: 0 | BP: 0 | Night W/ Master: 7

Carmen Cruz - VP: 0 | BP: 0 | Night W/ Master: 8

Tentacles Remaining - Small: 765 | Medium: 437 | Large: 25 | Gigantic: 3

“So rejoice,” continued Esther, "For you have been given the opportunity to not only join your master in lovely harem life right here at Cedarwood, but also to rid your school of the tentacle scourge! Not every college in the multiverse gets that chance, you know."

She finally clapped her hands and spread them wide towards her seated audience, “Any questions? Oh, and I think Brooke has probably learned her lesson now.”

Brooke collapsed to the floor, hyperventilating, Bianca rushing to kneel beside her, cradling her head in her arms.

A cacophony erupted, an unintelligible stream of overlapping protests echoing off the shadowy balconies.

“One at a time, please!” Snapped Esther. She pointed a finger at Fiona, silencing the rest of the crowd with a suddenly threatening glare. “Let’s let your lovely Master go first.”

Fiona’s knuckles pulsed as her nails carved crescents into the gilded armrests. She swallowed stiffly, her eyes once again passing over the eight women seated below her, their expressions a maelstrom of rage, confusion, and fear. At least Brooke, still in her lover’s arms, seemed to be slowly recovering.

“I don’t want any part of this. Look, what do you want from me, Esther? What will it take for you to take your… tentacles… and let these women go?”

Her voice dropped to whisper, strained but resolute. “You can have me, do whatever you want. Are you after a ****? My soul? I don’t know why you chose me, but let the others go. They have nothing to do with this.”

Esther laughed, gesturing to the contestants. “Oh, how wonderful, you have such a magnanimous Master! I knew I chose well. But no, dear, I’m not after your soul. And you certainly won’t be a ****! No, as I told you, I’m here to help! This is your chance, your big moment! A once in a lifetime opportunity to save your school and settle down with a perfect, sexy harem, enhanced just for you! All you have to do is, well, give us a good show! Show us some romance, show us some drama, show us some epic tentacle busting action!” She paused. “Well, it won’t exactly be you fighting the tentacles. That’s what your harem is for. But you’ll need to give them plenty of moral support, if you know what I mean.” She added a suggestive double wink to punctuate the statement.

Fiona’s face twisted as she leaned back, her attempt at valiant self sacrifice defeated. “And what, if we fail, the campus will be infested with tentacles, invisibly molesting the students. Wait…” Fiona suddenly did a double take, looking at Esther in panic. “We’re on campus. You implied the tentacles are already here. Are my students in danger now?”

“No, not at all.” Esther sighed in regret. “I was going to have them hypnotized so they could be helpers for the season, but I had to quarantine the campus to keep the tentacles from getting out.”

Fiona’s eyes narrowed. “So what the hell happened to them in the meantime? Are they just missing class until this nonsense is over with? And what about the rest of the staff?”

“I promise, no need to worry! I split off a little bubble in spacetime, just for you. You can’t get hurt, can’t leave, and when everything shakes out, I’ll just collapse the bubble, and everything will start right back up like you never left. No one outside the bubble will notice a single difference!”

“None of what you just said should be remotely possible.” Polina chimed in, flatly.

“You know, **** and enslaving people counts as hurting them, right?” Etta glowered at the host.

“I’m talking about physical injuries,” countered Esther, “And besides, like I said, it’s pretty much for your own good. Well, mostly for the Master's good, but that's pretty much the same thing.”

“If physical injuries are impossible, why the hell did you need to zap Brooke? She couldn't have hurt you anyways!” Bianca interjected in outrage. The muscled blonde by her side, now mostly recovered and finally sitting up, squeezed her tightly.

“It’s about respect.” Esther responded, “and if I didn’t start with a little demonstration, you’d just waste time testing me later, and that would be boring. We can’t have boring.”

“Oh, you want to talk about respect. Rich!” Carmen muttered.

“Hey! One other thing,” Carolyn butted in, “What’s this about points for physical intimacy? I’m straight, I don’t want to bang my college president! Not that I would want to bang my college president anyway. Ooh, or do you count, like, hugs? That’s intimate, right? Anyways, what kinda stuff is gonna give us points?”

Esther smirked. “You’re straight now? Whatever you say, Carolyn – you do know I did a very thorough background check, right?. But really, your sexual orientation doesn’t have anything to do with it, you’re here for the Master’s pleasure, after all. You'll have to experiment for yourself to see what different actions are worth - but a hug alone won't cut it. We want to put on a good show for the audience.”

Carolyn’s tan cheeks flushed red at having been outed so callously, her eyes flicking to Maisie for an instant before responding haughtily. “I don’t know what on earth you mean. The only woman I have eyes for is Ms. Bungis.” She sat back in a huff, the rabbit squished once again between her crossed arms.

“Sex with women against their will is absolutely not my pleasure. I thought I made this clear,” Fiona added through gritted teeth.

“And that’s what makes it fun!” Esther giggled. “Now, its about time to move on. I promise its really not that complicated – just have fun, enjoy the ride, kill some tentacles, and try not to get eliminated!”

“Wait, what about the transformations? You haven’t told us about the transformations! What does that even mean?” Christina finally spoke up, anxious to have what seemed to her to be the most worrying part of the whole ordeal elaborated on.

Esther cackled. “Oh, you’ll see for yourself – that’s what’s up next!”

Maisie, the only contestant familiar with the show, shuddered in nervousness and anticipation. She hoped that this wouldn't be like a few of the darker seasons she had seen...