The Rankings

10–7. The Micro-Clit Losers – Jake Acorn (1.88"), Jordan Thumb-Dick (2.1"), Chuck the Cuck (2.7"), Chrissy the Sissy Princess (3.4")

These four are literal human garbage. Their cocks are so pathetic they don’t even qualify as dicks; they’re clits with delusions of grandeur. Jake’s disappears in ice, Jordan’s is buried in fat, Chuck’s needs a ring to stay alive, and Chrissy’s hides under Jamal’s soft meat like it’s ashamed to exist. They are genetic dead-ends, sexual emergency, do not resuscitate.Ethan “Average Andy” Washington – 5.8 inches soft

Black but tragically mid. The ultimate disappointment. He had the genes and still pulled a boring, forgettable, lukewarm cock. He’s the human equivalent of unbuttered toast.

5–1. The God-Tier Breeding Bulls

5. Marcus “Big Wood” Washington – 7.55 inches soft Black python, already longer than every loser hard.

6. Jamal “The Throne” Hines – 9.2 inches soft, using Chrissy’s stomach as furniture.

7. Penny “Mommy” Sinclair – 8.12 inches perfect girl-cock attached to double-D tits and a fat ass.

8. Manny “Donkey Dick” Ray – 7.08 inches soft Latino meat that grows to over 10 inches of pure destruction. Dick “The Annihilator” Cohen – 9.51 inches bone-pressed Jewish wrecking ball, the undisputed pussy-destroying champion.