The Pink/Gold Swirly Path

I stood before the four tunnel entrances, still slightly unsure… I shouldn’t go down tunnel two… crystal monsters have always been both common enemies in the game, and difficult to defeat. There was no way I was going down tunnel three… two eerie. And if anything could happen in tunnel four, I might get attacked by an army impossibly hard monsters.

No, The swirly pink and gold tunnel was probably the best. Stepping up to it, I get a nice look at it, like that tunnel is slowly swallowing me down. No going back now. I run my fingers along the glittery gold swirl as I make my way into the tunnel.

It takes about ten seconds of walking to hear the sound of the next room render, meaning I was close. And once I finally escaped the darkness of the tunnel, I was facing the light of a new room. And oh boy was it a hard room to look at. It was so bright

The walls were encrusted with gold, hot pink, and covered with rhinestones. It was like looking at the case of a high school girls phone… in fact-!

“Ow! Wha-?”

My thought is cut off short, as I feel a smack to my side. Not a hard one, but it was startling enough to throw off my balance. I trip over my foot and stumble for a moment before standing straight and looking to the direction of the attack.

I was beyond shocked as I craned my head down, to see a pale green skinned little goblin. The goblin was standing there, angrily glaring at me. Though this goblin seemed… odd. It was wearing a set of pink workout clothes. Leggings and a sports bra. I couldn’t help but notice it’s… assets. A rather large rack, and a bubble butt, which made its movement look like a waddle.

I suppose this is possible for the game to generate… but I’ve never seen anything like this before. And this game is super retro! How did it manage to copy style that seemed so modern

It had a phone in one perfectly manicured hand, which looked much like the wall of the room. In its other hand, it was holding a golden colored purse. It seemed to be grunting and yelling in its goblin language, but between the incoherent nonsense, I heard a few normal words such as “Like” and “Um” and “Totally.”

It was all beginning to come together, as I looked above it’s head, and it was all clear:

[Lv. 1 Bimbo Goblin]

Luckily, it was just level one. This game was usually somewhat brutal. Well, at least there’s only one, usually goblins travel in packs. No matter. I need to kill this one first. I begin to slowly dodge its sweeping attacks. The goblin used her purse as a mace, and wildly swung at me.

It took a few minutes of dodging and weaving, but I managed to get its health bar low, and with one final punch, the goblin **** sound was heard, though much more feminine, and the goblin dropped a small item.

Man, if all fights are this easy, I’ll be blazing through this dungeon.

It wasn’t a hard fight, but I don’t have many health points, and that first hit did a surprising amount of damage. I’d have to find a way to heal up.

Walking to the item, I pick it up, it was a pink ring. It had a heart shape on it, and was encrusted with fake looking pink diamonds. I scream out a yes internally as I can finally have some items that can aid me. I open my inventory to see the item’s description.

[Bimbofied Health Ring]

: ++ Health

: + Appearance

: - Intellect

Huh…? That’s actually pretty decent stats. Better health is always a plus, and appearance can be used to persuade… Lower intellect is a new stat, but it probably won’t do too much

I slip the ring on my finger, and see it move to an equip slot in my inventory. I immediately see my health fill back up and even see it’s maximum grow a few points. It was odd that I actually felt more healthy…

I also felt the two other stats take effect… I suppose that I should’ve guessed by the name bimbofied that my appearance would actually matter… my ass bubbles up slightly, my hips grow wider, and my waist shrinks. It wasn’t that bad, but anyone who saw my ass would definitely notice it’s roundness.

I freaked out for a moment, my mind now racing with thoughts… what if I was stuck like this when I left the game. How much am I gonna change before I can leave? I could take it off, but it actually feels better with the extra health.

And of course, the last effect, a lowering of intelligence. It had already taken effect, but I didn’t feel all that different, maybe just slightly more distractable, I thought.

“Well, that’s like, not bad at all n’ stuff…”

I didn’t even notice the way I spoke. As if I was babbling mindlessly. Yeah, glad that not much changed, still the same old me with almost the same old mind.

Anyway, I need to see what to do next. There seems to be two more tunnels. One had the same swirly pink and gold pattern as before, but the other was different. It was a hard linoleum floor, and I could hear some loud yelling… although, I could always go back and retry a different path…