The Paladins Adventure Begins

“Long story short the dragon queen has gathered an army of orcs, goblins, and other fowl beast but has done little else yet but fortify the mountain stronghold against attack but with a dragon at her side and an army under her command it is only a matter of time before she attacks. The baron sent emissaries and only one horse came back with a sac full of human eyeballs.” Minerva said finishing her tale. So far the dragon queen was drawing a line in the sand but how long before she crossed it herself.

“We have been looking for information about the dragon bitch but most of it is hearsay and rumor. The only real lead we found led us here. The old merchant we meet on the road told us that the inn keeper and his wife have a connection to the dragon queen. We agree we need to get information from him but our approach is a bit different.” Selene gave Minerva a look. The elf seemed happy to sit back, drink, and listen to the music the tavern bard was playing on his lute.

“I just think breaking into his room and trying to rob him isn't the best course of action.” Minerva shook her head. She had to be the voice of reason for this little group.

“I second that.” Artemis raised her mug.

“And if your plan fails he may destroy any evidence connecting him to the dragon queen.” Selene shook her head.

“She makes a good point.” Artemis pointed at Selene.

“Who's side are you own?” Minerva gave her a look.

“I forget. Which one of you bought me my last drink?” Artemis shrugged and took a sip. The elf could not handle her liquor.

“What do you think?” Selena looked at me.

“Divide and conquer maybe.” I shrugged.” Selena goes and looks around the room while you keep the barkeep busy and ask him a few questions once she is gone.” I realized I was trying to keep them both happy but they needed information. I didn't really think we would fins anything useful to stopping the dragon queen and her army here of all places.

“That might work. You are coming with me. I could use a lookout.” Selene stood up and grabbed my collar.

“What should I do?” Artemis smiled gleefully..

“What you do best sweet cheeks. We could use a distraction and maybe some spending cash since I am not allowed to pick pockets anymore.”

“Right. One song coming up.” Artemis pulled out an ivory flute covered in runes.

“Remind her to tell you the story of the one time at a bandit camp how she smuggled that flute out.” Selene gave a sly smile. As we went up the steps Artemis began to play the flute to provide a distraction.

Dice clatter across the table fills the air as lightening crackles outside.

Thankfully no one saw us leave as the bard joined in. Minerva went to distract the inn keeper and ask him a few questions. We made our way up the stairs and found the inn keepers room. A sign on the door saying fuck off was a clear indication.

“Keep and eye out for me?” Selene said as she stopped at the door and pulled out a pair of lock picks.

“You sure you can pick the lock?” I asked. I had helped make enough locks that I might be able to **** it open.

“It's a door in a tavern. How hard can it be?” Selene shrugged.

The sound of dice rolling across the table followed by the click of the door lock.

“See. Nothing to it.” She opened the door and stepped inside. “Quick. Get your big ass inside.” I stepped inside. The room was dimly lit by a single lantern on the wall The room illuminated for a second from the lightening outside. Long enough for me to get my barrens but not much else. “You look over there by the bed and I will check the desk but keep an ear out.” Selene pointed.

“Okay.” I nodded and walked over to the bed. I noticed shackles on the bed post. I opened the drawer to find a flogger, a bottle of some strange oil, a length of rope with a knot tied in it, a stamina potion, and what looked like a unicorn horn. It had to be someones junk drawer as I had no clue why any of this was here in a bedside drawer. Not much under the bed except for boots. I checked the wardrobe and found a saddle and horse bridle which struck me as an odd place to keep it. A whip and a riding crop hung behind some clothes. City folk were so weird I thought to myself.

“Jackpot.” Selene said.

“Find something?” I asked.

“A lock box.” Selene said setting the lock box on the table and pulled out her lock picks. “Yep. Question is how hard will it be to open.”

Paige: Roll a spot check.

Dice roll.

Suddenly the lock box came alive and opened up baring sharp fangs. It's tongue fired out latching onto Selene's tit and it pulled it's across the space between them before I could draw my sword. It's teeth sinking into her right tit or the leather of it.

“Oh shit. It's a trap. Get this fucking mimic off of me.” She spun around trying to shake it off to no avail and grasped at it as it gnawed at her armor. Luckily it was small and hadn't managed to sink it's teeth in very deep but it had a good hold of her tit. I grabbed it and pulled.

Dice clanking across the table.

Paige: Twenty. Critical success.

I ripped the mimic free and held it in the air as it tried to wiggle free but I had to good of a hold on it. Selena drew her knife and thrust it into mimics mouth.

“Die you fucker.” She twisted the blade with both hands.“Talk about a bobby-trap.”

“Looks like we have some letters.” She said pulling her dagger back to see she had stabbed through several envelopes inside the chest.

“Um your breast is showing.” I said pointing to where I had ripped her bustier. I good part of it now dangling from the beast teeth in my hands. I had pulled with maybe to much stregnth

“Fuck. I just got this bustier. Can you lay hands on and heal me?” Selene stuck out her large chest toward me. It looked more like scratches from a cats claw then anything serious. Like dozens of little paper cuts where the teeth had suck in around her tit.

“You want me to touch your breast?” I gave her a look.

“You told us you had only minor training as a healer right?” Selene smile and took my hand and slapped it to her tit as my hand filled with the warm softness of her breast. “So you need to place your hands on the wound for it to properly heal fully..”

“I am only doing this because I hate to see a person in pain.” I said casting the spell as I looked away though it did little good as I could feel it in my hand.

Sam: Hey Chris. If you want to LARP and act out this scene in the real...

Chris: Pass. Unless you plan on taking off you shirt.

Girls: Ooh...

Sam: Maybe later?

“How is that?” I asked after what should have been long enough to heal.

“Little more.” Selene replied and let out a little moan. “Can you do the other one two. They get so sore during the full moon so this feels amazing.”

“I was not given these gifts for such trivial task my lady.” I pulled my hand away.

“I am just trying to help you practice your craft paladin.” Selene said with a teasing smile.

“I am sure.” I shook my head at her.

Dice rolling

“Shh... I hear someone.” Selene cocked and ear toward the door. We had probably made enough noise up here to draw someones attention.

Suddenly I heard footsteps as well from outside the door. The footsteps stopping just outside the door and I heard keys jingling just outside. Fuck. Someone was coming in. I looked around for a hiding place. Under the bed didn't seem like the best place to hide, the wardrobe would be a very tight fit for the two of you, out the window seemed risky but an alternative to a fight since we had what we were looking for. Truthfully sneaking around was not my area of expertise and would prefer a fight but as far as I knew the person on the other side of the door had never done anything that would warrant me killing them.

Poll: What should the hero do?