The Mole Man

Wall Street was shaking. Seismic sensors showed the vast worms tunneling beneath the foundations of Manhattan. A pirate radio signal went out.

"...I demand that New York cease dumping is effluent into Subterranea!" The Mole Man screamed. "We are tired of your shit! Literally!"

It was up to the Fantastic Four to defend the city against the threat posed by the Mole Man and his monsters.

Which is how, at 3AM, Sue Storm found herself drinking coffee in a conference room in the basement of City Hall, as a Moloid in a suit negotiated a contract for proper waste disposal with the Mayor's office. Every half hour or so, Harvey Elder, the Mole Man, would work himself into a righteous fury and threaten to subsume the entire island and everyone in it.

That was, Sue had to admit, a good negotiating tactic. She'd already seen him whittle away at the Mayor's firm position that New York wouldn't pay a cent for the continued right to dump whatever they wanted down below.

Reed played the middle man, sketching out waste sorting machinery, ways for biological waste to be repurposed to fertilize Subterranea's farms, industrial reclamation of various metals...Sue was pretty sure that the Mole Man would actually come out of this well-ahead financially.

But there was a sticking point.

"Toxic and radioactive waste," the Mole Man said. "We have enough issues with mutagens already. Where do you think we can put them all? There are entire caverns that are uninhabitable because it leaches into the groundwater..."

"You signed the original contract!" the Mayor's aid said. "We're perfectly within our rights to..."

Sue Storm sighed. They had circled around this point so many times. What to do with it. How to deal with it. How much to store and dispose of it. She felt a headache come on, and carefully cut a little pink pill in half with an invisible knife, swallowing it with a mouthful of bitter coffee.

Her eyes relaxed a little as a pleasant, warm sensation filled her. She had been cutting back on the pills, as Dr. Stone suggested, but that didn't mean she didn't still enjoy them...

Her eyes focused on Harvey. On the bulge in his green jumpsuit. An idle thought flickered through her mind. Just a hint of curiosity. What he really looked like under there.

The suit vanished.

The Mole Man's naked body was never going to win a Mr. Universe contest. Short, stout, surprisingly muscular but hairy. Fitter than a man half his age. And his cock...Sue's eyes widened, shocked at what decades of mutagens had done to his tacklebox. It hung nearly to his knees, but was so covered with warts that it looked like an alien appendage grafted onto himself.

The entire room grew quiet. The Mole Man himself was the last to notice that the Emperor of Subterannea had no clothes.

"What," he said quietly, "is the meaning of this!?"

Sue Storm felt a pair of fingers tweak her bottom. She sat up with a jump, the Mole Man's clothes suddenly reappearing. Reed's arm slid back away from his wife's backside. The Invisible Woman's cheeks burned.

"I'm so sorry, really," she said, standing up. "I'm so tired my powers are...I, I think it's better if I leave now..."

"Oh no!" The Mole Man said. "You're not going anywhere. The Fantastic Four is here to guarantee these negotiations. In fact..."