The Gutterball Gambit

“I really don’t think this is a great idea, guys…” April complained as she trailed behind Babs and Jason.

“It’s just a bit of bowling! What, are you afraid you aren’t gonna be able to beat me?” Babs remarked.

“Could we at least go through some of the questions I have?” Jason chimed in.

“I already told you I’m not interested right now, Ghost Boy. It’s been far too long, and this gal wants to bowl!”

The three dategoers made their way through the hotel's winding corridors, following a happily humming Lyn as she led them towards their destination.

The hallways had a distinctly rustic charm to them, with polished wooden panelling lining the walls and a long, plush red carpet stretching down the centre of the floor. But with all that said, they were rather monotonous to walk through, so much so that Jason eventually found himself mindlessly analysing those around him.

Were these two wearing the exact same clothes as yesterday, or just identical outfits? April's tail swished in rhythm with her walking; that was interesting. Did Lyn have that blue flower on her hat last night? No, he'd definitely remember something like that, especially with how weird it looked. Almost like it had been taken straight out of a painting. What's with April's ears, anyway? Does she have four ears now? Those jeans looked really good on Babs…

“Left!”

Lyn announced as she turned left down yet another corridor.

As they rounded the corner, they found themselves in a seemingly endless corridor, completely lined with doors. Some were still holographic and ghostly, their faint outlines shimmering against the wooden walls, clearly not yet unlocked. Others stood solid and ready for business, with decorative signs announcing the various attractions waiting beyond.

A few in particular caught the group's attention as they walked by.

There was a trampoline park, the mere thought of which was enough to make April gag.

A butterfly field, which caught Babs' eye, but she was focused on bowling right now, and bowling was serious business.

Gymnasium, pottery class, soapmaking, Ghost-Chinese restaurant, Cheese cave, Punishment rem—

Wait, what was that last one?

Just as Jason turned to re-read—

“Arrived!”

Before he could get a proper look at that last one, Lyn's cheerful announcement drew everyone's attention back towards her.

The little blue ghost stood before a large wooden door, proudly gesturing towards the neon flashing sign hanging above it.

BOWLING ALLEY

With a triumphant flourish, she pulled open the door for the other three to step inside.

The first thing that hit the group was the smell. A peculiar yet almost nostalgic mixture of old carpet, shoe polish, wood polish and a sprinkle of stale popcorn. The lighting was dim, with several fluorescent tubes overhead flickering occasionally, casting a sickly yellowish glow across the room.

A faded, garishly patterned carpet stretched across the floor, its (presumably) once-vibrant reds and blues having long since lost their lustre. Rows of scuffed plastic chairs surrounded little tables, while a battered vending machine hummed quietly against one wall.

Straight ahead of them was the front desk; it was beige, with a wall of colourful striped shoes behind it, as well as a hot dog and popcorn stand attached to the side.

To Jason and April, it just looked like your average run-down bowling alley.

To Babs, it was unlike anything she had ever seen before.

She strode forward, looking around in absolute amazement.

“Would ya LOOK at this place!”

“You… like it?” Jason asked, clearly confused.

“Like it!? This is incredible! Just look at all the colour! I don't think I ever did see such a vibrant place!”

Her eyes darted around the room, taking in everything from the garishly patterned carpets to the rows of brightly coloured plastic chairs. The bowling alleys she remembered from the fifties had been much simpler affairs, with plain wooden furnishings with some neon signs and little in the way of decoration.

But this place? There were colourful lights, strange-looking machines, and all sorts of things she couldn't even begin to put a name to.

“Jeez, they've really gone all out with these places nowadays, huh?”

Before Jason could respond, Babs spotted something else that caught her attention.

“Ooh, look at those!”

She hurried over towards the lanes, where dozens of bowling balls sat neatly in their returns. Rather than the plain, dark balls she remembered, these came in all sorts of bright, eye-catching colours.

She eagerly reached down and picked up a particularly vibrant purple one, turning it over in her hands.

“Wow, these have gotta be the fanciest balls I've ever seen!”

“Ah, ah, ah! No touching until you've paid to play!”

Babs froze, letting out a quiet “Huh?” as she slowly lowered the ball back into place

She turned back towards the front desk, where the voice had come from, to see a small, very bored looking and familiar blue ghost sitting at the counter.

“If you want to play, you gotta pay.”

Babs walked over to the counter and put on her best smile.

“Heyyy, whatsyourface, the other one didn’t tell me I’d need scratch for this. Name your price.”

“Well, for starters, my name is Joss, and the price’s name is Sivell,” Joss responded matter-of-factly.

Jason and Babs looked at her, confused, while April let out a little chuckle, causing them both to turn towards her.

“What? Hahaha… Do you guys not… get it?” April asked between chuckles.

A small smile crept onto Joss' face, clearly pleased that someone had appreciated her incredible attempt at humour.

“Riiiight,” Babs drawled. “So what'll it cost us to play?”

Joss reached under the counter, pulled out a flashcard, and held it up in front of her face. On the back, the word Payment was written in enormous cursive letters.

“One hundred BP per lane, per person, and a one hundred BP deposit for fitted bowling shoes. This deposit will be reimbursed when the shoes are returned. If a contestant can't or won't return their shoes after a bowling session has concluded, they will instead receive a temporary punishment transformation as compensation.”

She lowered the card and placed it back beneath the counter.

The three exchanged slightly uneasy glances at the mention of a punishment transformation. Still, considering they were supposed to be wearing the shoes, how exactly were they going to lose them?

“Wait,” Jason spoke up. “How am I supposed to pay?”

“Oh, wait just a sec.”

Joss reached under the counter and retrieved the same flashcard, unfolding it this time to reveal an additional section.

“In the case of a Master/Mistress/Mastress wishing to participate in any paid activity, he/she/they may participate free of charge. However, this privilege may not be used to cover another contestant's expenses or participation fees,” she read out bluntly.

“Oh! That's… good, I guess,” Jason replied.

“Ooooh, look at you! Lucky boy, getting his first date for free,” Babs jabbed Jason with her elbow as she spoke.

Jason merely blushed in response and rubbed the area.

“Um, where do we pay?” April questioned Joss.

“Oh, just swipe your bracelet over this terminal, and I'll be right back with your shoes, darlin'!”

Joss pulled out the aforementioned terminal and placed it on the counter.

The first thing April noticed was that it looked similar to—no, identical to an average contactless payment terminal.

I guess if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

She held her wrist over the device.

Ding!

Joss smiled at her before turning towards the shelves behind the counter and retrieving a pink-and-purple-striped pair of bowling shoes.

“Right, I'll be needing your old shoes as well, darlin'. Just to make sure you come back for these!”

“Oh! Sure.”

April slipped off her Crocs and handed them across the counter.

Babs eyed the strange-looking footwear with a puzzled expression.

“What's up with those weird shoes?”

“Oh, they're really comfortable, and they don't have any laces for me to trip over!” April explained cheerfully. “They're also surprisingly durable considering how thin they are, and if I ever need to take them off in case of rabid dog attacks or getting caught in heavy machinery, it's as simple as pulling this little tab down!”

She gestured towards the back of one of her Crocs, looking rather pleased with her explanation.

Babs and Jason simply stared at her.

“…What's up?”

April: 1680 - 200 = 1480 BP
Babs: 1620 - 200 = 1420 BP

Once they had finally reached their assigned lane, Babs wasted no time making herself comfortable. She slipped off her sunglasses, shrugged out of her leather jacket, and tossed both onto one of the plastic seats beside their booth.

“Right!” she exclaimed, turning towards Jason. “You're gonna have to keep score for us, Ghost Boy. Never was much good with those damn score sheets.”

Jason looked at her, confused.

“Keep score?”

“Yeah, y'know, write down the scores?” Babs replied, raising an eyebrow. “What aren't ya following?”

“Why would I need to…?”

Jason trailed off as the realisation suddenly clicked into place.

“Oh! Right, of course!”

He pointed towards the large screens suspended above their lane.

“We have machines that do all that for us now.”

Babs followed his finger, looking up at the displays with newfound interest.

“Huh…”

She tilted her head, examining the bright, colourful screen.

“Well, ain't that something! Look how flat that thing is!” she exclaimed. “How the hell'd they fit a whole television in there? And it's huge!”

Jason chuckled at her amazement.

“Technology really can do some crazy things.”

“Sure seems that way…” Babs muttered, still staring up at the screen.

After another moment, she shrugged and turned back towards the lane.

“Alright, just make sure to pay attention!”

She strode towards the ball return, picked out her vibrant purple bowling ball, and stepped up to the approach.

With her feet planted firmly on the polished floor, Babs shifted into her bowling stance, holding the ball in front of her as she fixed her gaze on the pins waiting at the far end of the lane.

Just before making her throw, Babs glanced back over her shoulder at Jason, a confident smirk spreading across her face.

“You might learn a thing or two, Ghost Boy.”

With that, she turned back towards the pins, readying her throw.

Babs bowled forth with all her might…

Only to watch in disbelief as the ball veered sharply to the side, rolling straight into the gutter.

A sad little jingle suddenly rang out overhead.

“Huh?”

The sound caught Babs' attention, and she looked up towards the screen to find a rather awkward-looking 3D animation of Lyn.

The little blue ghost appeared with a bowling ball in her hands, looking ready to make her throw. She pulled her arm back, started forward, and then promptly… slipped? Tripped? Fell over?

It was rather difficult to tell, considering she didn't actually have legs.

Whatever happened, Lyn ended up tumbling headfirst into the gutter, rolling helplessly down the lane before disappearing off-screen.

A moment later, enormous, garishly coloured 3D letters appeared across the display.

GUTTER BALL!

A miserable little trombone sound accompanied the announcement.

Jason couldn't help but burst out laughing at the ridiculous animation.

“Don't push your luck,” Babs remarked, pointing an accusing finger at Jason, who was still struggling to contain his laughter.

Despite her threatening tone, there was a faint hint of embarrassment on her face. After all, she'd just made quite the show of how good she supposedly was, only to send her first ball straight into the gutter.

April let out a small chuckle of her own, earning herself a rather unamused glance from Babs.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up…”

With an irritated huff, Babs retrieved her ball and stepped back up to the lane.

“Just watch this one!”

This time, she took a moment to line up her shot properly before swinging her arm forward and releasing the ball.

Barely a moment had passed before—

CRASH!

The ball struck the pins dead centre, sending all ten flying in different directions.

“HAH! THERE WE GO!” Babs exclaimed triumphantly, throwing a fist into the air.

Unfortunately for her, the screen overhead didn't seem quite as impressed.

SPARE!

Babs glanced up at the display.

“Spare? The hell's that supposed to mean? I knocked 'em all down!”

“Yeah, but it took you two tries,” Jason explained, still grinning. “That's a spare, not a strike.”

“Whatever. Still got 'em all, didn't I? When I’d play with the gang, we never counted gutter balls on the first shot; the game hasn’t started yet!”

“I guess this place does it differently.” Jason responded.

“Whatever, just take your shot.”

“Alright, but fair warning, I'm not exactly the best at this,” he admitted, approaching the ball return. “Haven't played real bowling in years.”

“Just take the darn shot!” Babs jeered.

“I'm sure you won't do worse than me,” April admitted with a sheepish smile.

Jason gave her a slightly uncertain look before selecting a bright green ball and making his way towards the lane.

As he slipped his fingers into the holes and lifted it into position.

Man, it's been a while…

He adjusted his grip, took a few steps forward, and swung his arm back.

Then, with a slightly awkward motion, he released the ball.

It rolled down the polished lane, gradually veering towards the right-hand side.

Oh, come on…

For a moment, Jason was convinced it was going straight into the gutter. Fortunately, the ball held its course just long enough to clip the left side of the formation.

CRASH!

Six pins went tumbling down, leaving four standing in a diagonal line towards the left side of the lane.

Jason watched the remaining pins wobble slightly before settling back into place.

Jason retrieved his ball and lined himself up for his second shot, eyeing the four remaining pins.

Alright, just gotta aim a little further left…

He took a few steps forward and released the ball, watching as it rolled towards the remaining pins, the ball made contact with two of the middle pins, causing them to topple over, leaving the other two standing.

A little animation appeared on the screen overhead, showing Lyn holding up a large sign with the number 8 on it. She gave an enthusiastic thumbs-up, only for the sign to prove too heavy for her, sending her tumbling out of view.

“Heh. Eight points. I'll take it,” Jason remarked as he returned to his seat.

“Alright, my turn!” April announced, getting up rather hesitantly.

She selected one of the lighter bowling balls, carefully slipped her fingers into the holes, and approached the lane.

“Okay… here goes…”

April took a few tentative steps forward and released the ball.

Unfortunately, she'd released it at a rather unfortunate angle.

The ball rolled almost immediately into the gutter.

Brrrr!

The overhead screen sprang to life, once again displaying the little blue ghost. This time, Lyn was enthusiastically waving a pair of pom-poms, only to notice the ball disappearing into the gutter. Her expression fell, and the pom-poms promptly wilted in her hands as an enormous 0 appeared above her head.

April's ears drooped.

“Oh…”

“Don't worry about it,” Jason reassured her. “You've still got another shot.”

“Right! Yeah, I can do this!”

April retrieved her ball, took a deep breath, and stepped back up to the lane.

This time, she was determined to get it right.

She adjusted her stance, carefully lined herself up with the pins, and began her approach.

One step.

Two steps.

A smooth swing backwards, followed by an almost perfect release.

The ball rolled down the lane in a remarkably straight line, heading directly towards the centre of the pins.

April's eyes lit up.

“Oh! Oh, I think I've actually—!”

She squeezed her eyes shut in anticipation, an enormous grin spreading across her face as she waited for the satisfying crash of falling pins.

A few seconds passed.

Then—

Brrrr!

April opened one eye.

The ball had somehow curved away at the very last moment, slipping neatly into the gutter without touching a single pin.

The screen overhead began playing another animation.

Lyn appeared standing proudly beside a giant golden trophy, confetti raining down around her as she raised her arms in celebration. Then the trophy suddenly flipped around, revealing an enormous 0 on its front. Lyn stared at it for a moment before her smile vanished.

The trophy promptly collapsed on top of her.

GUTTER BALL!

April stared up at the screen.

“…Oh, come on.”

Jason couldn't quite suppress a chuckle.

“That's… actually kind of impressive.”

April gave him a thoroughly unamused look.

“Thanks.”

Babs, meanwhile, was already getting up for her next turn, looking considerably more enthusiastic than either of them.

“So!” she began, selecting her purple ball. “What do you two usually do to keep yourselves busy?”

Jason glanced up.

“Uh, well, I spend a lot of time hunting ghosts. Or, I used to, anyway.”

“Ghost hunting, yeah, I knew about that one. What else?” Babs repeated, raising an eyebrow as she approached the lane.

“Uh… well, other than that, I mostly watch TV and play video games.”

“Video games?” Babs asked, sounding rather puzzled.

She brought her ball back, took a few confident steps forward, and sent it hurtling down the lane.

CRASH!

All ten pins went flying.

STRIKE!

The screen immediately burst into an explosion of colourful fireworks as a triumphant 3D Lyn appeared wearing an oversized crown. She triumphantly raised a bowling ball above her head, followed by a gigantic golden X to materialise behind her, accompanied by a ridiculously dramatic fanfare.

Babs gave herself a small celebratory fist pump.

“Ha! That's more like it!”

“Whoa, good job!” Jason congratulated her.

Babs turned back towards them, a smug little smile spreading across her face.

“I know.”

She sauntered back towards the seating area, looking thoroughly pleased with herself.

Jason and April both found themselves blushing slightly at her sheer confidence, as well as the way her… endowments made themselves known when she walked that way.

Babs dropped into her seat and leaned back comfortably.

“So, what's a video game?”

“Oh, right!” Jason replied.

He thought about how best to explain the concept to someone who apparently hadn't encountered one before.

Well, we're bowling, so…

“Okay, so, basically, they're games you can play on a television. Like, I used to have this sports game, where you could play bowling just like we're doing now, except it was all on the TV.”

Babs stared at him.

“Huh…”

She considered that for a moment.

“Sounds really boring. Why not just play the real thing?”

“Well, I suppose the main reason is that having a bowling alley installed in your house would be quite expensive,” Jason replied with a little grin.

Babs narrowed her eyes.

“You tryna get smart with me, hot stuff?”

She immediately cringed.

“What, THAT counted? Seriously?”

Jason let out an awkward chuckle, still not quite sure how to react whenever her punishment decided to make itself known.

He got up and retrieved his ball, approaching the lane with little enthusiasm for attempting anything particularly fancy.

Just gotta hit some pins…

He took a few steps forward and let the ball roll.

It travelled down the lane with a slight wobble before colliding with the pins.

CRASH!

Seven of them went tumbling down.

At almost exactly the same moment, April spoke up from behind him.

“I wasn't allowed to play that game anymore after breaking the second TV,” she muttered sadly.

Jason turned back towards her, having barely caught a word over the clatter of the pins.

“Sorry, what was that?”

April glanced down at her lap.

“Oh, nothing…” she replied solemnly.

Jason grabbed a ball for his second shot, eyeing the three remaining pins at the far end of the lane.

“So, what do you do to pass the time, kitty cat?” Babs asked, turning towards April with a sly grin.

Once again, April was a little taken aback by Babs referring to her as something other than her actual name. Still, she supposed it wasn't the worst nickname in the world, and the way Babs said it..

Meanwhile, Jason lined up his shot and sent the ball rolling down the lane.

Clack!

It struck one of the three remaining pins, which toppled sideways into the other two, knocking them both over.

SPARE!

A cheerful little jingle rang out as the overhead screen displayed an animation of Lyn juggling innumerable bowling pins. She tossed them into the air, only for them to come crashing down around her, spelling out the word SPARE!

“Woohooo!” Jason exclaimed, pumping his fist. “Did you see that!?”

“Not bad, not bad!” Babs nodded approvingly before turning her attention back towards April.

“Well, outside of work, I do a lot of reading and watching movies,” April began. “I play some video games too, like Mario Kart and stuff, but they're not really my favourite.”

She shrugged.

“I don't really go out much because I'm cursed. Sometimes my dad comes around, but it's been getting less frequent lately. Though I guess I don't exactly reach out all that often myself…”

Her voice trailed off slightly.

“But it's not so bad! I get by…”

A brief pause.

“…Sort of.”

Babs blinked.

cursed?

April snatched up a ball, stepped towards the lane, and, without so much as a moment's consideration, hurled it forward.

Unfortunately, her aim was somewhat lacking.

The ball immediately veered off course, striking the raised edge of the gutter at an awkward angle.

THUNK!

Rather than dropping into the gutter, the ball bounced over the divider and landed in the neighbouring lane.

April watched helplessly as the ball rolled down the adjacent lane, gradually drifting further and further to the side until it disappeared into the gutter.

“Oh…” April murmured.

For a moment, nothing happened.

Then, from somewhere behind the pins, came a peculiar mechanical grinding noise.

Grrrrrrr…

Jason frowned. “What's that noise?”

CLANK!

The machinery at the far end of the neighbouring lane suddenly shuddered. Apparently, the ball had become lodged somewhere in the automatic return mechanism, which was now making increasingly unpleasant noises as it attempted to do its job.

Babs leaned forward inquisitively, and slightly worried-sounding.

“Uh… is it supposed to do that?”

Before anyone could answer, the machine let out an almighty—

BANG!

The ball suddenly shot out from beneath the machinery, propelled backwards by the jammed return mechanism. It struck the metal divider at an angle, bounced upwards, and came crashing back down into April's lane.

The heavy ball slammed into the wooden flooring just short of the pins.

Several of the floorboards buckled under the impact, their edges snapping upwards and sending a violent jolt through the pin deck, causing the pins to fly into the air.

For a moment, the three of them simply stared at the wreckage.

Then—

DING DING DING!

The overhead screen burst into life.

STRIKE!

A ridiculously triumphant fanfare blared throughout the alley as a 3D Lyn appeared on-screen, wearing a golden crown and holding an enormous trophy. She tossed the trophy triumphantly into the air, only for it to come crashing down on her head, flattening her into a little blue pancake. An enormous golden X spun into view above her as fireworks erupted across the display.

Jason stared up at the screen.

Then at the damaged lane.

Then back at the screen.

“…What?”

Babs' mouth hung open.

April, meanwhile, stood completely motionless, her eyes fixed on the splintered floorboards.

Her ears slowly drooped.

“…Oops.”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?” Babs exclaimed, gesturing furiously towards the destroyed lane

“I-I didn't mean to!” April squeaked, shrinking into herself.