The Grand Circle 69 of 2025

"There has to be some easy way to juice the numbers."

A fat man with curly hair paces his office, his fancy static outfit hung on a coat rack at the door, in case he needs to make an appearance in the show. The pacing only slows as he approaches his desk once again, looking at the data.

"Our engagement is solid. Our super fans are ride or die, hell, half of them are expanding our footprint, making us even bigger. You know what they say, another hotel for the lot, and everybody will be red in the end.... Hell we even reached 100,000 Lives pledged in our service. You have to like that."

"Although... Not enough people are giving the new seasons a shot... But that's just my opinion, not everyone may agree. And it's not like I can blame them, soon enough there will be an episode for every hour of every day. Some brilliant stuff is bound to get lost in the shuffle..."

The man runs his hand through his vast curly hair, hair so dense that it threatens to trap his hand. "Eh, maybe I'm overthinking it. We're already 9th in the charts. 8th by the end of the month probably. And this is all fun, no stress. Well except Yuki breathing down my neck, but she can't hurt me. Well, except for that snowstorm that dropped the second most snow ever on my office, that was weird."

But then his eyes go through his notes again. "Gah, stop being lazy. The founder made you a bigshot for a reason. Think, think. What would Hollywood do? Reference itself. No, we already have that with Ava. Dig into established IP. No, none of those last for more than 10 episodes for some reason. Double down on what works.... Half of the hosts claim they're already the best. And depending on how you judge it, half of 'em are probably right."

Further pacing continues, as he looks from ceiling to floor and back again, as though the answer will be found in some random ceiling tile. "Ratings... Wait, that's right Sweeps! What did TV channels do when it was their bacon on the line? Make more sexy shows? We're already sexy enough. Cancel Firefly? No, Joss Whedon isn't even a producer on this show..." The man cracks a wry smile. "Though he might make quite a dark season if he was. I’ll make a note of that later"

"No, no, enough jokes. What we need is a shake up, some kind of grand spectacle. Not an anniversary show, that's already in the works, And the last time we had 'oops the contestants are all hosts', it was such a disaster the 8th day of the week had to serve as a sort of metaphysical quarantine. I still miss Baldrsday. Only two day weekends now, and the barber industry has never recovered…"

"Wait, I got it! It'll shake things up! It'll bring attention to shows that haven't been given a fair shake! It won't involve me putting any actual work in! And depending on what the others want, it can be in a main timeline or in some funky alternate timeline where nothing matters."

The man shouts to his empty office, as though on a stage. "Yes, I'll have the various hosts change places, some where the show currently is, some at some juncture that seems fun. That's sure to be a ratings smash! Watch your ass Written Ownership! And with Sweeps rolling through, Nielsen will love it!"

"Now, what do I call it. Something catchy... something clever." The man grows quiet once more, the producer known as Sho lost deep in thought.

"Freaky Friday? Freakier Friday? No, that's coming out in August. No, enough with the jokes, you're the serious guy here. The spooky dark side maestro behind the evil, no second most evil, no third most evil host, Yuki. Maybe I should tie it to some holiday, that tends to work to break through my mental blocks... How about..?"

"The Grand Circle 69 of 2025?"

"Eh, only if I can't come up with something better."