The Goblins of the Shattered Mountains

[The following are excerpts taken from The Travel Log of Odo of Montebelle.]

And so it was that on the fourth day of the fifth moon, my guards and myself have arrived at the scenic landscape of the Shattered Mountains. Thanks to Sybill, bless the land that she walks upon, the resident goblins were ready to receive us with open arms. No doubt, the cheap goods I peddle to stay afloat have made me a welcome guest.

The goblins here average around navel height to us humans. Unlike many of the others I've seen in my day, these goblins have much more meat on their bones. The males are more brawny, while the females are more... curvaceous. Upon inquiry, one of the locals informed me that the dwarves deeper within the mountain are fairly tolerant to their kind, and willing to trade food and materials for the draughts and trinkets these goblins produce. I have been promised safety within these cavernous walls, so I shall retire for the night and resume writing when I have new experiences to share.

-

What a wonderful day it's been! Everywhere I seemed to go, the local women would come out from the stonework and offer food, drink, and companionship. Saints above, I haven't received this much womanly attention in my thirtyish odd years of living combined! If I'd known such people existed in this world sooner, I would've made this my first destination on my journeys across Rotha. The past is the past, however, and it is not worth dwelling upon. I have something more interesting for my readers to ponder on. Between meals today, I was given a tour of their alchemical and brewing facilities. While I've seen better facilities in the past (it's hard to compare to an alchemist of the high cities), the handful these goblins run have far exceeded the standards across Rotha. At the end of the tour, I was even given a sample flight of a dozen different concoctions. Never before has a healing concoction tasted so sweet to the lips before, save at the brink of ****. If I could somehow setup a trade route from here to export their goods, the world itself would prosper, would it not? I have much thinking to do, and I need time to do it.

-

A week has passed since I have put ink to page. It's with a heavy heart that I declare this my final journal entry in this tale. A new chapter is beginning in my life, so I must put a close to this one. Ten years of travel is a difficult thing to end on such an anticlimactic note, but I hope you readers understand. I have decided to take a family here. During a night's reverie, it was revealed to me that these goblins, not unlike many others, have an affinity towards those outside of their gene pool. By the Saints, I have fallen to temptation. Every squishy inch of flesh that rubs against me, just the thought alone is enough to make me drool! A half-dozen of the women here compete over me in just the most endearing way. A favorite activity of theirs is to pass aphrodisiacs between us mouth to mouth as they ride me for hours on rotation. How could any man resist after that kind of treatment? To all future generations, please keep an open heart, and an open mind wherever the road may take you.

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Publisher's note: The final passage was originally redacted by Sybill, who thought it inappropriate for her life-long friend and beloved public figure to disclose such lascivious details at the end of his journey. With the start of his business enterprise propelling his fame even further in the public's conscious however, the 2nd edition printing has deigned to include it with the rest of the tale. Since the 2nd edition release, some have cited this as a failure of morals, while others have made the Shattered Mountains a sex tourism hotspot. We, as the East Pine Publishing House, only wish to preserve history, and have included the entirety of Odo's journal for posterity's sake.