The Gate and The Key, by TheLeherengin

“Oh, goody, engin’s back again with another sexless story!”

“Do not be too hasty, Gina. This time we are reading, The Gate and The Key, by TheLeherengin”

“I sure wish I had a key and a gate.”

“To escape this story?”

“No, to shove the key up your ass and smack you over the head with the gate!”

“Very classy, Gina. But actually this is one of engin’s less popular stories.”

“Hah! Tell me about it. Just look at that pitiful likes and view ratios! I knew that engin is a slut for pain but come on! This is pathetic! I almost look forward to once more mock this miserable excuse of an author!”

“Yes, yes, you can indulge your humiliate engin fetish later, Gina. Let us begin.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

"M... My lord, is something wrong?" the cultist asks through panting breaths, confused by the sudden pause in their mating. Ashkyr's response was to open its mouth wide and drag her inside. She screams as she is pulled in, her hands desperately grabbing for something and catching hold of some of Ashkyr's many tongues as Ashkyr's mouth closes around her waist. The tongues she grabbed begin to grab back, wrapping around her arms, hands, breasts, throat and head as they her deeper into its mouth, its entire body undulating as it tries to swallow her down, "My lord! What are you doing?! Don't-" she begs before being muffled by a tongue pressing into her mouth and down her throat, her body is swallowed up to her neck, only her hands and head free and soon she is fully swallowed. Her form squeezed inside the body of the devourer.

“Well, Gina. Your fears were unwarranted. We are having sex right in the very first chapter.”

“Contrary to what fucked up people like engin believe, cannibalism is not sex.”

“Actually, Gina, in order for it to count as cannibalism both predator and victim need to be…”

“I don’t care!”

“But as a matter of fact, this is vore. A fetish that is surprisingly rare to find on here.”

“Yeah, who would have thought not many people are into eating each other.”

“Well, technically Gina...”

“I STILL DON’T CARE!”

“As another matter of fact, we only ever covered one other story that dealt with vore.”

“The one with the planet eating bitch, right? Man, is it just me or are we seeing less fucked up stuff lately?”

“I think you are just getting used to it, Gina.”

“Fuck.”

“Anyways, turning back towards the story at hand, this tale revolves around Amy Elsin who happens to be a monster hunter. She’s also the titular gate who is about to bring the apocalypse should she ever be impregnated. Kinda like Rosemary’s baby only with more tentacles.”

“You know, between sumedokin, moustache-man and whatever the fucker who writes about a planet cooking chef calls himself, I can’t believe it ends up being engin who writes an eldritch horror story that actually has sex in it.”

“Come now, Gina. Surely engin had proven by now that she can write porn.”

“Has she, Marcie? Has she really?”

“Our protagonist kinda sucks at her job and gets overwhelmed quickly by the token tentacle monster.”

“It’s always tentacles this tentacles that with these stories. Where the fuck is the giant eldritch shark, huh?

“Fortunately she has a trump card in the form of a pet eldritch monster girl that comes to the rescue.”

“Yeah, this story doesn’t just revolve around one but two protagonists. I fucking hate stories that do that.”

There in her eyes she can just barely make out the hated symbol that proclaims her as the gate. When she is aroused the symbol is obvious, but she can still spot it, there in her eye, a dull outline like an old almost faded scar. She hates the symbol with all her heart, not just because it proclaims to all the monsters in the world that she is a target and they should try to impregnate her, but also because it is just... so cliché. The symbol, one in each eye that glows pink and replaces her pupils whenever she is aroused and ready to be bred, is a heart.

“Alright, I feel we have to address the fact that while this is a Lovecraftian horror story with gruesome depictions of , engin attempts to go for a dark humor angle with it. Emphasis on attempt, engin is incapable of comedy.”

“To be fair, Marcie, your sense of humor is about as refined as your fetishes.”

It turns what is a tragic and terrifying curse into a pathetic and silly hentai trope every time it activates. The fact that if she ever fails she will doom the world while doing a textbook anime ahegao face is by far the most frustrating aspect of the whole thing. She sighs and grabs a towel, covering herself as she steps out of the bathroom. M'krna isn't at home, surprisingly she is at school.

“If the humor in here would be any dryer this story could clean your clothes.”

“Hah! And you claim I’m harsh!”

Amy sits down on the couch in her living room and turns on the television. Surprisingly she owns the house, it had been bought for her, by the cult of Hesh Re'ith, they send her money and generally take care of her needs as required .In their eyes, there is no chance she won't eventually succumb to her destiny so her rebellious phase of being a monster hunter isn't something to be concerned about and they see no need to dissuade her or try to persuade her to fulfill said destiny. If anything, being a monster hunter puts her in situations where her destiny is likely to be fulfilled more often and should be encouraged.

“Take Exhibit A, the cult that, for the lack of a better word, conceived Amy is surprisingly accommodating towards her needs. That is funny! An evil doomsday cult that is actually very friendly is a great setup.”

“Sounds like the plot of a wacky Disney live action series.”

“But that is it. It is just a setup. There is no pay off. No pointe. We are looking at a veritable comedic cockblock here.”

“That’s very nice, Marcie. Can we get on with the story?”

“Certainly, from here the story splits viewpoints between Amy, and her eldritch girlfriend, disguising herself as Amy Elsin’s sister, very cleverly named May Elsin. Heh, get it?”

“Amy’s is a bit of a fuck off while May’s not only extremely smart, powerful, but also better looking. No seriously, the story goes out of it’s way to establish that she’s just superior in every way.”

“This is a good choice. If you have two viewpoint characters for your story, you do want to make sure they are distinct enough. Engin then decides to send each of them on their own mini adventure to further establish both characters. Which is also a good choice. In theory.”

“What are you bitching about now, Marcie?”

“Isn’t it obvious, Gina? The constant switch between viewpoint character ruins the pacing. This is made worse by the fact that these two adventures have no relation to each other.”

“Gotta hand it to you, Marcie. That was kinda annoying. These chapter were suddenly short as fuck too.”

“Indeed. Instead of alternating chapter, the story would have flowed better by just finishing one story arc first before moving to the next.”

“Yawn….alright uh...wanna talk about the story in a bit more detail?”

“We do have the time.”

“So, as Amy is about to hunt a monster, she gets stabbed by a random mobber and fucking dies.”

Theo is shocked, he has just seen the girl he killed come back to life and then get telekinetically lifted and seemingly teleported in front of his eyes.

“This does explain why Amy can’t just commit suicide to prevent the apocalypse. I am happy it got addressed.”

“Unfortunately, some evil old bastard shows up and takes advantage of the situation. Amy gets kidnapped and teleported to the cultists of the weeks lair. Amy really sucks at her job. Why isn’t she taking her badass girlfriend with her on these hunts?”

“Because...plot? I think it is supposed to be tongue and cheek? Once more, engin’s attempt at humor befuddles me.”

"That woman is in danger and you put her in that danger. You need to help her," he grits his teeth, but he can't deny that part of him. The part of him that had existed long ago, before the debts, before his life was bogged down with responsibilities.

As a child he'd wanted to be a hero and that part of him knows... this is his chance. He picks up the bloody knife and hurries after the elderly man.

“This is engin we are talking about, so how much do you wanna bet this guy ends up gruesomely killed?”

“I don’t take bets I have no hope of winning, Gina.”

"Drive..." he commands and the man hesitates. Theo expects any second to be set aflame or otherwise murdered, but surprisingly it doesn’t happen and the man responds simply.

“Fuck me. The guy actually makes it!”

“Well, sort off. There is another attempt at humor here that Amy is very horny and want the cultists to fuck her before sacrificing her to whatever unholy hellspawn they worship and they agree but then Amy got rescued just before she managed to actually climax. Now keep in mind, that I made this sound more humorous then it actually is. And yes, I am serious.”

“Amy ends up fighting some giant bull thing, and actually wins for once. meanwhile back at May…”

“I hate these names.”

“You just said you liked them!”

“There is a bit of clever wordplay going on, granted, but that does not excuse the fact that your two protagonists have three letter names, the letters are all the same AND they are ending on the same letter. It is like the absolute atrocity that is Gina and Rina, only somehow even worse.”

“Are you done bitching, Marcie?”

“For now.”

“So, May goes to her party with her best friend…”

“You can not make this shit up.”

“With her best friend Shay.”

“At this point engin has to do it on purpose, right?”

“Beats me. But I’m happy your for once the one who gets all pissy about one of engin’s stories.”

"Kimmy!" she admonishes her, but John just laughs.

“FOUR! There are four NAMED female characters in this story ALL ending on the same letter! Do you know how many named female characters are in this story, Gina? DO YOU?”

“Uh...”

“FIVE! That’s 80% of your female characters ending on the same letter! This is preposterous!”

“You know what? At this point I’m more mad that engin doesn’t keep it up with the last one too.”

Shay is an African American woman with a dusky skin tone. She has jet black hair in Fulani braids with faux gold beads attached at the end of a mid-back length ponytail the braids are fed into. She has a full, nicely proportioned hourglass figure with an ample bust, flat stomach and wide hips supporting a bouncy ass. Her lips are curled in an appreciative smile as she looks May over, her lips painted with a slightly darker nude shade with a bit of gloss to give her lips a nice sheen. Her eyes are painted with some subtle purple eyeshadow and her lashes are carefully curled giving them a nice full look all of which serve to bring out the deep rich brown of her eyes.

“Alright, to switch things up, my next complaint is admittedly subjective…”

“Wow, how rare of you to admit that.”

“But I am not going to remember how Shay looks. Whenever a character ends up getting such a detailed description I can not help but feel it is a bit of a waste.”

“Meh, I can appreciate the attempt to write something beyond “has big boobs”

“I suppose. Shay actually ends up saving the day as the party gets overtaken by another eldritch monstrosity. Amy then body controls Shay into killing the monster. Hmm...body control…”

“May.”

“Come again, Gina?”

“May is the one at the party, Amy is the one fighting the giant bull thing.”

“….I really hate these names.”

“And we’ve caught up. Whelp, it was only 11 chapter long, most of them pretty short, but that still didn’t stop the lazy bitch from taking 18 months to write them.”

“To be fair, that is less because engin is lazy and has more to do with the fact that she has quite a few stories under her belt. Her output is really impressive, actually.”

“How does the saying go? If a thousand engin’s write an infinite amount of stories they eventually end up with porn in it.”

“hm, yes, well, Gina. What is your verdict on the story?”

“Not enough lesbians in it but despite the , and cannibalism, this one felt tamer then what engin usually puts out. So, meh. Needed more sex between Amy and May.”

“I don’t think the two are lovers, Gina.”

“Oh, fuck off! If Amy’s the Gate then May is obviously the Key!”

“I see, huh. You might be on to something.”

“Definitely, watch it, the two will end up fucking each other like eldritch rabbits before long. But there was no sex between them so far, so story sucks.”

“Personally, I am torn with the Gate and the Key.”

“So, are many of the cultists in it.”

“The writing itself is impeccable. I did not spot a single typo and there is clearly a lot of thought put into the characters and the setting. But the execution was clumsy.”

“So are the cultists in it.”

“Gina, what does that even mean?”

“Ugghhh! I don’t know! I’m tired! And all these talk about eating people has made me hungry!”

“Yes, I believe we can conclude this review here. Let us go grab something to eat.”

“I don’t want any humans!”