The Forest

You think about where to go exploring. The caves around Mt. Imporne are filled with all sorts of monsters just trying to mind their own business. Besides, they probably also have adventurers trying to kill them, and most of them could kill you easily if they wanted to anyways. Going up the mountain is out of the question. Things only get harder up there, and low-level monsters like yourself aren't welcome unless you swear allegiance to one of the boss monsters: something you have no intention of doing. Well, that just leaves one direction. The forest it is! You could jump off the cliff and glide down, but that's a bit too exposed for your liking and you don't even remember the way back up. Maybe another day.

The hike down the mountain is relatively uneventful. You're somewhat confused to see a screaming adventurer fly off a cliff in the distance... probably some new quest that they're always getting up to. You roll your eyes and try to shrink against some of the rocks on the path and stay out of sight. Crazy or not, too many of your expeditions have been ended by well-placed arrows for you to needlessly take chances.

Finally the bottom is in sight. You've always been fond of the forest. There's no shortage of flammable things when you get bored or angry, and you can easily hide or bound through the thick vegetation in a pinch. That said, you still need to stay vigilant lest a local predator sneak up and turn you into a quick snack. You ponder what way to explore when suddenly a sound trumpets through the trees.

DEE-OOO

Isn't that some sort of game error sound? With no other plans, you creep through the underbrush to check it out. Soon enough, you hear the unmistakable guttural tones of goblins coming from a nearby clearing. You've always liked goblins: the little buggers' love of fire, trickery, and chaos makes you natural friends. Embarrassing as it may be, you're too weak to take them on, and you're smart enough that they'd rather work with you than kill you. However, rather than the happy chants and songs you're used to hearing, these goblins sound... defeated?

Peeking into the clearing to confirm nothing dangerous is going on, you step out to see most of this village standing in a sort of makeshift circle around their chieftess and a goblin holding a hammer. However, instead of the huts you're used to seeing, the clearing appears to be filled with haphazard piles of wood and bits of stone. The chieftess and builder appear to be standing in front of one such pile, looking about as sad as you've ever seen a goblin. Time to make your entrance.

Using trickery to amplify and deepen your normally fast, crazed, and high-pitched voice, you stride into the clearing.

"What troubles you, little goblins?" your voice booms as they spin around, their chieftess running over to you.

"Oh, great red demon man thing! Clan buildings now just bits! We tried and tried to make new town, but see human squiggles. Red squiggles leave bits pile. Green squiggles leave spooky ghost hut, but hit hut with hammer and just dee-ooo." She frowns, imitating the error noise from earlier, and the goblins all echo it in unison. "Dee-ooo show more squiggles, but we no have humans. If demon guy can help clan, clan give many shinies and things."

Maybe this has something to do with the new update? As far as you know, goblins aren't smart enough to read. No doubt they aren't following whatever new instructions come with whatever crafting updates just got patched in. You confidently step into the circle with as much of a swagger as short, folded over demon can muster. The moment you picture the sort of hut you remember these goblins used to live in, you see a game pop-up, not unlike your character sheet, appear in front of you.

Tribal Hut
Requires: 10 wood, 2 stone
Nearby: 100 wood, 10 stone
Build? Yes/No

After tapping "yes" with your finger, a transparent image of the hut appears where you pictured, overlaid with an empty progress bar. "Hit your hammer against the hut" you command the builder goblin, and as he starts to pound away the progress bar slowly starts filling with green. You sit down to talk to the chieftess as he works: it looks like it'll take a while.

Talking to the gobliness reveals that they've had much the same experience as you did: they awoke with foggy memories to see new patch notes (or at least, you assume that's what "big long squigglies" means), but unlike your tower they found their huts all dismantled. Maybe it's because your tower is considered part of the landscape rather than a monster-owned building? Strange. In any case, it sounds like the goblins haven't done much in the intervening day or so since the patch. No adventurers have come by and they've been busy trying to sort out their housing situation. The hard-to-follow and unproductive conversation is abruptly ended when you hear another loud DEE-OOO nearby, and turn around to be greeted by another popup.

Error: You have not claimed this land. You can only build buildings on land that you own. To claim land, find or buy a Claimant Crystal

What in the nine hells is a Claimant Crystal? You don't remember seeing anything like this in the past. You frown and wrack your brain until you're suddenly shaken out of your focus by the small green hand of the gobliness behind you. "Oh great mighty red guy! What squiggles say? Can you fix and help make hut?"

"It says you need something called a 'Claimant Crystal.' It sounds like something for adventurers. Do you have any crystals?"

"No, only have rocks and sticks and pointy sticks and pointy rocks and things. Some hard shinies but no cr-... car-... hard clear shinies."

You shrug and look up to the sky. The sun is starting to hang low in the sky, and you don't want to be caught in the woods at night. "Perhaps we need to kill adventurers to get some. I need to go back to my tower and make plans. I'll be back."

"Yes! Red man come back! Bring many crystal, make many hut, burn many human!"

You try to grin your most intimidating grin and turn around, sinking back into the brush. You'd love to just burn and carouse with these goblins, but you see an opportunity to gain some information and power and you aren't going to just let it go. It's rare that a monster of your status has any shot at living more than a few days, let alone power.

The trip back up the mountain is uneventful. Several other monsters seem to be making their way up the mountain as well, and you pass an orc hermit of some kind, a few kobolds, and a few large, hairy hobgoblins. Each time you dart behind a rock and hide until they're out of sight, but it seems like everyone is just as interested as you in getting home before dark when the truly big monsters come out. Finally, you find yourself rounding the last twist in the path which leads solely to your tower, and you can hear faint explosions in the distance. Perhaps your kin are throwing a party? Then you hear a feminine voice shout "Enileve, grant me strength!"

Adventurers

You cautiously slink up to the side of the tower, flatten yourself against the wall, and peek in. The sounds of combat seem to be dying down by the time you peek inside.