A priestess and a rogue

You suppress a sigh as you look inside the tower. The room is trashed, even compared to its usual decrepit state. Every surface is covered in scorch marks from the imps' firebolts. The ground is littered with small, flaming patches, no doubt the corpses of your unlucky kin. And in the middle of it all, an exhausted priestess is meditating while a rogue is upturning every bit of furniture looking for loot.

You take some time to inspect them a little closer. Both of them appear to be elves. The rogue looks thin but toned, fairly standard for his class. A line of daggers are strapped to the lower half of his leg, with the slots on the other half missing. Looking around at the flaming bodies of your friends you can guess where they went. He appears to be wearing black leather armour with a hood and gloves. You suppress a cackle: it seems like nearly every rogue player you've seen insists on the same edgy, brooding look even though the devs patched in very generous transmog options a long time ago. If anything, it's only made the outfits worse as they've found pieces of other class' gear to complement the stereotypical appearance. More importantly, the armour appears to be singed and cut in numerous places: these adventurers must be extremely low level to have had this much trouble with a few imps. Maybe this is your lucky day?

The priestess, on the other hand, appears to have emerged somewhat unscathed in comparison. Her white silk robes only have a few singes on them and whatever cuts and scrapes she might've had must've already healed. Before you know it, you forget she's an enemy and sizing her up turns to, well, sizing her up. You can't help but stare at her gorgeous pale lips, her long eyelashes, her blonde hair which cascades down to her ass. You imagine fondling her perky, firm breasts clearly outlined by her robe. With how little that thing leaves to the imagination, you find yourself wishing every female adventurer wore one. Suddenly, your gaze is interrupted by a game window appearing in front of her.

Arialle Fairbreeze, Level 3 Cleric of Enileve
High Elf, Hero, Explicit
Time since created: 3 hours
Time played: 3 hours
Feats
Patient: You gain a bonus to experience from longer fights. You can regenerate mana quicker by meditating.
Ambitious: You gain significantly more experience from defeating monsters higher level than you. You can cast spells above your level with increasing chance of failure or complications.

Huh. Helpful. Even knowing her shortened character sheet might come in handy. Which you obviously knew you could see. Which is why you were staring for so long rather than taking advantage of the situation. Banishing those thoughts, this situation looks bad. The cleric must've just levelled up, as she's in perfect condition. There's no way you—a lone level 2 monster—could hope to defeat her on her own. Not to mention she isn't alone—she has a companion, and she looks like she's preparing to heal him. You need a plan, and you need it fast.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a sound from the priestess, despite her eyes being closed and her body staying perfectly still. "David, can you please spend five seconds without looking to loot something? We'll have plenty of time to search this place once we clear out all of the little nuisances, and we're a bit exposed here. I won't be able to heal you for a bit, and you won't be able to take more than one or two more hits." Her sarcastic, bratty voice is a stark contrast to her refined appearance.

"Shut up Sarah! It'll be fine. If there were any more of those imps they'd have charged us by now. Monsters at this level aren't smart enough to plan anything. Reminds me of a certain sister. Besides, weren't you the one who wanted to come here for your stupid caster items? Also, don't call me that! I'm Shadowdagger, mightiest assassin of the realm!" He turns and brandishes his dagger in a way you can only assume was meant to be heroic.

"Whatever, moron." The priestess rolls her eyes and goes back to meditating. Barely a moment later, a frenzied yell and high-pitched cackle erupts from above you as two imps lunge from the second floor.

This is your chance! As the priestess turns around and a mace materializes in her hand, you fire a firebolt at "David" the Rogue, then another. Sure enough, he's dead before he knows what hit him, disappearing into a puff of smoke and leaving a little pouch where he stood a moment before. One down, one to go! Unfortunately, taking down an adventurer who was almost dead is one thing: taking down one at higher level and full health is another entirely. "Sorry friends," you grimace, watching the priestess' tight ass wiggle as she chases down and swat them with her mace. Even with their incredible speed she eventually hits them, and one hit is enough to take each one down. Once she's done, she returns to her seated position in the middle of the room, and then suddenly yells incredibly loudly.

"Jesus, David, I told you! Now I have to wait in this stupid tower all evening until you respawn and hike back up here! Great job!"

Is this adventurer crazy? She realizes that her party member is dead, right?

"Well, Sarah, maybe if you hadn't wasted all your mana trying to cast show off and cast shatter you could've healed me! You know, like, your job?"

Wait, isn't he dead? You can hear the rogue's voice coming out of the priestess' mouth. What in the world is going on?

"Dinner soon! Come down and make yourselves useful! And for god's sake, you're supposed to be adults, act like it. If you're going to live here rent free the least you can do is look for a job and stop playing ARGs all day! Or at least get off long enough to talk to each other in indoor voices!"

Okay, wait... what? That was yet another voice; one you haven't heard before. Does this adventurer somehow have multiple personalities or something? Before you can contemplate that any further, you see the priestess sigh dramatically, stand up, and tap a window that appears in front of them. Her eyes roll up in their sockets and go blank, before suddenly returning to normal. You've seen this before, at least. Something called "logging off." You're not quite sure what it means, but when it happens adventurers seem to start acting more... normal, at least by your standards. More like their feats and classes and such would make you expect, not in the bizarre, idiosyncratic way that adventurers normally seem to act.

"Well, this is great, just great," she says in a voice that suddenly seems more regal, calm, composed, and almost musical. You almost slip back into staring when you notice she starts to walk your way. Shit! Hopefully she hasn't seen you. You duck around the side of the tower just in time as she steps out the door. "And now it's about to be night. Fantastic. Well, I guess I might as well set up camp in the tower. Now that the imps are dead it should at least provide some shelter from the monsters." With that, she turns around, steps back inside, and you dart back around the tower just in time to see her start to set up some sort of cloth tent she pulled from her inventory. Soon after, she opens the flap, and you get one last peek at her long legs and firm ass before she slips inside and closes it. You look down at the erection you're now sporting, think back to her character sheet and yours, and lick your lips. You think you have the beginnings of a plan in mind. Maybe this time you can be the one killing, and... dominating—you shudder at the thought—adventurers for a change. And you certainly aren't ready to give up the 100xp you just earned by waiting for her to wake up in the morning and swat you like your two late comrades.

You sneak around the closed tent as quietly as you can. First, you pick up the still-flaming bodies of your former comrades and arrange them in a pentagram both here and on the floor below. Next, you creep up to the loot bag left by the rogue. You've never looted an adventurer before: hopefully this doesn't make a noise. You wince in anticipation and open the bag to see an inventory window appear.

Loot Bag
Leather Armour (Damaged)
Throwing Knives (15)
Healing Potion
Pickaxe
Hatchet
15sp, 5cp
Take Some/Take All

Wait, he had a healing potion? No doubt "saving it for the final boss." Well, his loss is your gain. You aren't sure what use you'll have for most of the items, but it isn't like your inventory is overflowing at the moment, so you might as well grab them all. Finally, you return to the basement, washing up and drinking as quietly as possible, and you wait for midnight to enact your plan.