The Extinction Kings: A Primer

Lily reverted to her natural, bright pink skin, and removed the "borrowed" jacket and pants. With the sleeves rolled up on his shirt, and the bottom hem covering her pelvis, she put on the determined face of a businesswoman. That she looked like she just slept over at a boyfriend's house was not lost on John, but he did his best to focus on the task at hand.

She cleared her throat once, and put on confident airs that obviously weren't hers. "Let me be the first agent of the Extinction Kings, Master, to welcome you into the fold, and to congratulate you not only on your first bounty kill, but also on your first Hate contract! While you may have already collected so considerable a bounty, did you know that there's even more opportunities to secure both wealth and power by signing on officially with our organization?" She put a strange emphasis on the word, and stretched her hands towards the wall behind her, as if to present a grand display.

Nothing happened.

John looked between her and the blank wall, confused.

She slowly looked behind herself, and was visibly startled by the same. "... Ah, Master," she whispered, holding her pose, "where's the bell you used to call me?"

"In my inventory. But do you need it? I thought you couldn't actually handle it-"

"Yes please, just... just set it right there," she pointed at the nightstand half-buried in the wall.

Confused, he manifested the bell and set it as instructed.

"Ahem... by signing on officially with our organization?"

The mirror sheen of the tap-bell shimmered, and a small dot of light burst from its button and beamed onto the wall a five-by-four-foot projection.

"That's right! We're a corporation recognized in over 600 of the known Kingdoms, and receive top marks for-"

"Lily..."

She stuttered to a stop; her practice rounds in the restroom never calculated for interruptions, notwithstanding superiors hiding in stalls. "Y-Yes?"

"Is... is this a PowerPoint?"

She puffed her chest, and a confident smirk replaced her apprehension. "It sure is!" He's impressed by my technical savvy. I knew this was a good idea!

I can't believe they use PowerPoints in Hell... "OK... sorry, please continue."

"R-Right! Well, on top of being known in so many Kingdoms, we receive top marks for-"

"Question!"

"Hah?!"

"What's a Kingdom, for you guys?"

Lily cocked her head to the side, obviously confused. "Um... it's... a Kingdom. Are you asking if I mean literally, because I promise I do-"

"No, no! I mean, really: what's a Kingdom?"

"You..." She looked about, ever searching for help that wasn't coming. "... you killed a Hate contract, didn't you?"

"I guess so? But that was in a barrier... is a barrier a Kingdom?"

Her jaw dropped. "... What... what are you... How did you come this far without..." She looked around, as if for an explanation, and found none. "S-So... um, a Kingdom is... how to say it..." Nervously she tapped her chin. "... well, it's like a little world, shaped by whoever holds its Infinity Gemstone or, if it's been absorbed, then the Throne itself."

"Wait a minute." Lily paused as instructed, and John's eyes narrowed as he contemplated her. "You can't be... you can't mean that, right? Infinity gems? Like from Marvel?"

"Huh?"

"Do these... Infinity Gemstones... possess power over mind, life and the like? Like the comic books and movies?"

"What? I mean, I guess within a Kingdom... but I don't know where Marvel is, and I'm pretty sure they didn't come from there, Master. To put it plainly: they're the seeds of creation, forming worlds by the whims of their possessor. They're really powerful, and really, really rare!"

John nodded, and did his best to hide his disappointment. Well, considering this past week, I guess finding out comic books are real wouldn't even be that impressive anymore... "I'll ask more questions later. Go ahead and continue."

"R-Right! I was saying... right! We receive top marks for customer service, and from our hunters as well! A few have even gone to buy their very own Kingdoms for millions of soul gems after an illustrious career with the Extinction Kings!"

At least I already know what a soul gem is... but millions? If Dell was just ten thousand, and Lord Brighton a few tens of thousands...

"But why are our Hunters the most satisfied employees in the Abyss? I'll tell you!" Lily clapped her hands, and the slide changed.

"We're not like those other hunter services," she said, pretending to be disgusted by the very concept, "because we're not aiming just to be rich: we're aiming to be a pivotal **** in the Abyss! With our network of hunters, both landed and rising, we're quickly becoming one of the greatest mercenary services in the infinite span of the universe! We don't believe in keeping our hunters anonymous, impersonal, and protecting them from rivalries. We embrace rivalries, building reputations, and giving you the fame you deserve by utilizing our bounty-ranking system and our good working relationship with all known Abyssal Lords."

"Question, and please be specific."

"Y-Yes?"

"... What's an Abyssal Lord?"

Lily stared for a long time, despite his warning. She shriveled, as if intimidated. "You... You can't be... Master, are you... making fun of me?"

John violently shook his head. "I'm getting the picture that you think I should know all this? But I was really normal until-" Wait, John. He caught himself. She's not really your servant. You need to be more careful with what you tell her. "I mean, I just don't operate in these circles, at least not until now, I guess? So tell me, in basic terms."

"Well... an Abyssal Lord is a magnificent god of one kind or another, one who rules over a Domain, which is more or less a... hmm..." She looked at her PowerPoint for inspiration, trying to quantify what was a natural understanding for her. "Ah! You know what a boat is, right?"

"Please, Lily, don't assume I'm just a complete idiot..."

"S-Sorry, I mean, I would never- OK! So boats have captains, or at least that's who we're supposed to seduce if we ever find ourselves on one," she pleasantly explained.

What the Hell kind of spotty education did this girl get?!

"But the Captain is the master of the boat! And the boat floats on more of that water stuff, and eventually water gives way to land, and lands are ruled by all kinds of human leaders. Right?"

"Right enough..."

"R-Right. But Captains don't own the water, and they sure don't own the land!" John thought better than to correct her on so miniscule a point. "So if a King is a Captain, and a Kingdom is a boat, then the water is the Dream, and eventually you can dock at a Domain- oh, I haven't even- you know what the Dream is, right?"

John stared blankly at her before surrendering with a heavy sigh. "Maybe later. Let's get through this PowerPoint."

With a nervous smile, she bowed slightly before continuing. "Well! We'll talk later about the rating system for our bounties, but suffice it to say that one-star bounties are pretty tough, and they become exponentially more powerful from there. Very few five-star bounties even exist!"

"What was Yarrick Dell at, then?"

"Eh? Oh, the bounty you collected! Well, he was a Hate contract, which is how we categorize bounties from Abyssal Lords, so they're exceptions from the normal system. I wouldn't know for sure, but if I had to go by the amount you were paid, I'd say... a two-star, or a really weak three-star!"

She smiled innocently enough, and John's eyes were stuck wide-open in plain shock. Really... weak? She said they were exponentially more powerful... what the Hell is out there, then? I only got lucky with Dell, he was still leagues above me... so how...?

"Of course, if you prefer to have an easy time, Master, then our one and two star bounties are plentiful, which is one more benefit over those other hunting services," she said, again with the fake disgust. "Which brings us to the elephant in the room: our terrible, but undeserved, reputation!"

"What-" Lily cut him off with a clap of her hands.

John quickly scanned the text... and the less-than-fine print at the bottom.

"The Extinction Kings are built on libret... libterran... libertarian ideals!" she managed. "We reward effort, self-interest, and the spirit of the free market, so we have no use for misguided moral qualms about a bounty filed by anyone who wishes to file. If the target didn't want a bounty on their head, they shouldn't have been so poor as to not afford our Bounty Pay-Off Service!"

Man... go figure that Hell would be full of neo-conservatives... "Throne-breaking... I've seen that term before, though I didn't quite get it when I... first learned it."

"Ah, well that's more understandable: Throne-breaking is a very difficult, and very heinous crime in the Abyss!"

"So does it just mean removing the King, as you mentioned?"

Lily shook her head, her expression turning grave. "No, Master... usurping a Throne is fine, after all. It happens more often than any King would like to admit. But Throne-breaking is what it's called: it destroys the Throne. Once the Throne is formed, it is the root of a Kingdom's creation... and without the root, the Kingdom cannot maintain its form, and begins to drift into the Dream." She paused and contemplated her earlier analogy. "It's the difference between killing a boat's captain, and breaking the boat itself, Master. It is a genocide of all who live on the boat."

John swallowed a lump in his throat. Then Yarrick Dell... destroyed one of these Kingdoms? He thought to the insane artifact still stowed in his inventory; was it that blade that killed a world?

"... which is why the Extinction Kings have a strict policy against Throne-breaking! We do, of course, encourage usurpation by purchase or ****!"

"Huh?!"

She shrugged with an innocent-enough smile. "It can't be helped if a King has a bounty and refuses to pay us, after all... that's why the Extinction Kings has, by way of registered members, 23 Kingdoms to date!" She leaned forward with hopeful eyes. "Maybe you'll be a Kingslayer one day, Master..." ... and then I'd get promoted for sure!

"Eh-heh-heh..." John couldn't say no to so earnest a hope, however dire she made it. "Wait, so if I join the Extinction Kings... do I become a King?"

"No, Master," she curtly replied, "you become an Extinction King... but not the Extinction King. But you can be a King if you get a Throne!"

"... What?"

"Huh?"

"Who's the Extinction King?"

"Why, the leader of the Extinction Kings, of course!" John gave the succubus a blank stare, and she continued, "W-Well, you've surely heard of our wonderful organization before-"

"Nope."

"O-Oh... well, the Extinction King formed the Extinction Kings, and contracts with independent agents, such as yourself if you choose to accept his invitation! From there, you become an Extinction King, a hunter for hire and, by your title, a representative of the Extinction King!"

"... Why didn't he just name the hunters something else?"

Lily smiled proudly. "Because, as an Extinction King, you are the embodiment of his reach! It is to let the Abyss know that his reach extends to the edges of the Abyss, to every Throne and city, and to every reality. No matter where one may think they're safe... the Extinction King is there." Lily's voice came lower, her eyes narrowed, and the innocent smile now seemed sinister. "There is no safety from the extinguishing of one's existence. When you have been marked for **** by his will, your every hope for survival... becomes extinct."

Lily let the almost physical silence hang in the air, and John found himself leaning back slightly, wide-eyed and a bit worried, as she leaned forward.

And just like that, Lily was suddenly her perky self again. "So sign up today!" Lily declared with a clap.

John stared at picture of a human-disguised Lily in her pajamas, and then back to Lily, whose smile twitched. He looked to the fine print. He looked back to the faltering hope of the level 1 succubus.