The Early Edict

Knock

“Hnngh”

Knock Knock

“Hnnnghh…”

Knock Knock Knock

“Just… just a minute Trish…”

CRACK CRASH BANG

“Uwahhhghh, I'm up, I'm up”

Jocelyn looked up from her desk, pushing her blue tangles out of her face to see Lyn at the door—well, what was left of it, anyway. The poor wood was completely splintered, framing the small blue girl who stood there with her mailbag thrown over her shoulder. Though, weirdly enough, the sack looked much larger and fuller-looking than when she had left. Like, a LOT larger. It bulged unnaturally, dragging along the floorboards like a bloated red monster.

“Delivered!”

Lyn gave a sharp salute and hovered into the room, setting her massive sack down in the corner with a heavy thud. Jocelyn also noted the new hat accessory Lyn was wearing, a deep blue rose with streaks of other colours across it—almost as if it was painted—sat atop the brim of her oversized headwear, though she didn't have the energy to question anything more right now.

“What took you so long!?” Jocelyn groaned, rubbing her temples. “I had to pause the time flow for… I don't even know how long! Do you have any idea how boring it is waiting around here by myself?”

“Networking!” Lyn chirped happily.

“Sure, sure, whatever.” Jocelyn waved a dismissive hand, her typical grin crawling back onto her face. “Just glad you finally got it all sorted. But now that you are back, we can finally get onto the plan for today. Day One is officially hitting the screens, and we have a show to run!”

Jason rolled over in bed and checked the time.

8:02 AM

It had only been twenty minutes since he last checked it, yet it felt like months had passed by. To put it simply, he hadn’t slept a wink. How could he? His whole… everything had been flipped completely on its head in the span of a few short hours. Not only had his entire life's work as a paranormal investigator been vindicated in the most extreme way possible, but he had also been sucked into some crazy, magical game show where he was expected to date the dead people he used to investigate…

Well, actually, it sounded a bit worse when it was put like that, but you get the point: he was in absolute shambles. He stared blankly at the sterile ceiling of his penthouse, his mind racing in circles until his eyes burned.

Suddenly, a bright blue smear covered the side of his vision. Just as he turned his head—

bwAAAAAAAHHHP

“Uwaahh!”

Jason nearly leaped straight out of his skin, his sheets flying as his peace was violently disturbed by the deafening blast of an airhorn right in his face.

“W-What the hell was that for?!” he choked out, clutching his chest as his heart battered against his ribs.

“Breakfast!”

“You could have just knocked!” Jason yelled, glaring at her through watering eyes.

“Sleepy!”

“I was awake!”

Lyn merely shrugged her shoulders, completely unfazed by his shouting. Without another word, she drifted smoothly backward, passing cleanly through the solid wall and leaving him alone in the sudden, ringing silence. Jason let out a long, ragged exhale, running a hand through his messy hair before slowly dragging himself toward the mirrored wardrobe to change into some proper clothes.

Meanwhile, on the floor below, the rest of the hotel was slowly creeping to life.

Although, in the Poltergeist suite, Babs may as well still be completely dead to the world, face-down in her floating pillow and snoring softly, her long limbs tangled in the sheets. The other side of the bed however was empty, Mika was already up, rhythmically moving her toothbrush back and forth in front of the bathroom sink. Her eyes were glazed over with boredom, fixed intently on the tiny print of the toothpaste tube. Sodium lauryl sulfate, sodium fluoride, hydrated silica... As an electrical engineer, These words meant practically nothing to her, yet reading the chemical ingredients was the only thing keeping her mind occupied in the quiet room.

Over in the Apparition suite, the vibe was a lot more tense. April was still completely passed out, her cat tail twitching under the covers lightly, still recovering from the exhaustion of last night. Sylvie, however, was wide awake. She sat on the edge of the bed, her fingers white-knuckled around the edges of the official Harem Hotel rulebook. She was currently sweating over a specific page detailing the protocols for “Contestants being too bimbofied to compete,” her throat tightening as she realized just how high the stakes could actually get.

Just a few feet away, the sound of rushing water echoed from the bathroom.

Esme was leaning back under the steaming spray, completely losing herself in the sensation of a real hot shower for the first time in years. She stood right under the showerhead, letting the heavy stream wash over her face, letting the heat spread throughout her body in a way she never thought she’d experience again.

Though, actually trying to wash her body proved to be a completely different story.

The unwieldy nature of her newly enhanced chest became painfully apparent the moment she reached for the soap. Every movement felt clumsy; the heavy, unfamiliar mass rubbing against her arms was unavoidable. And as she leaned down to scrub her legs, the sheer, exaggerated volume of them swung heavily towards her face, shocking her completely off balance. She had to grip the slippery tile wall just to steady herself, huffing in annoyance as she realized she felt like she might actually knock herself out with them if she bent over too fast.

Down the hall in the Wraith suite, things were much quieter. Eleanor was already clean and fully dressed, sitting gracefully at the dresser. She pulled her brush through her hair with slow, deliberate strokes, savoring the simple, comforting luxury of the morning routine she had missed for nearly a century. She even had the suite to herself currently, her roommate having made a swift exit while she showered earlier.

A few doors down, Lyn began her rounds. And instead of immediately blasting her way inside, she gave the first door she came across—the Poltergeist suite— a heavy, rhythmic knock.

There was no response for a few seconds until a muffled “One sheckond” could be heard. After a few more seconds the door opened wide, revealing Mika. She stood there in her loose pajamas, a foam-covered toothbrush sticking out of her mouth and her blue fox ears angled forward in curiosity.

“Breakfast!” Lyn exclaimed loudly, raising her arm and emphatically tapping the non-existent watch on her wrist.

Mika blinked, her tail swishing slowly behind her as she looked down at her own wrist—which also didn't have a watch—then back up at the assistant. “We shill hev rike an hour,” she managed to say around the toothbrush, her voice muffled by the minty lather.

Lyn simply offered a crisp salute, spun around in midair, and hovered straight over to the next door down the line.

Reaching the Wraith suite, she completely skipped the polite approach this time, phasing directly through the solid grey wood without a sound.

“Breakfast!”

Eleanor jumped a little at the phantom intrusion, her hand flying to her chest, but she quickly calmed once she recognized the small blue specter in front of her. Letting out a soft breath, she lowered her hairbrush onto the dresser with practiced grace. “Good morning to you too, dear. I am nearly finished, thank you.”

Lyn gave a sharp nod and instantly vanished, popping straight into the Apparition suite.

Sylvie was still hunched over on the edge of the bed, frantically scanning the fine print of the rulebook, when Lyn hovered right into her line of sight—

“Eeep!” Sylvie squeaked, dropping the booklet in shock.

The sudden screech violently startled April out of her deep sleep. In a blind panic, her cat ears pinning flat, she scrambled backward, completely wrapping herself in the heavy duvet before tumbling right off the mattress. She hit the carpet with a dull thud, a tangled, groaning lump of limbs and blankets.

The massive commotion immediately alerted Esme, who poked her head out of the bathroom door, wrapped tightly in a fluffy white towel.

“Breakfast!” Lyn excitedly announced to the room, and with a swift turn, she was gone

By the time Jason finally made his way down to the dining hall, it was 8:24 AM. He was looking rather disheveled, his hair still sticking up in the back from his sleepless night, and his mind was still heavily weighed down by the sheer absurdity of his situation.

He stepped through the grand doors, not really expecting much, only to freeze. The dining hall was dominated by a truly ridiculous, nay, gargantuan spread of food. It was an immaculate, sprawling buffet that stretched along the entire back wall.

Jason wasn't really a breakfast person; a lukewarm cup of instant coffee was enough to get him through the morning, but his eyes couldn't help but wander over the overwhelming options. There were towering silver platters piled high with sizzling bacon, rows of perfectly poached eggs, stacks of fluffy pancakes dripping with syrup, artisanal pastries that smelled faintly of vanilla, and a bewildering assortment of exotic fruits, not to mention the array of traditional cereals and grains.

But what really caught his eye wasn't the food. It was Cassandra.

She was standing at the buffet table, completely alone, and appeared to be aggressively stuffing her face with what looked like a massive breakfast burrito: a thick tortilla, loaded with sausage, cheese and egg. He also noted that she was seemingly wearing the exact same thing as yesterday.

'Maybe she doesn't have our modern ideas of changing clothing every day', he thought curiously

As Jason moved over toward the seating area, his footsteps echoed faintly through the hall, drawing her attention. Cassandra gasped, instantly freezing mid-bite. For a split second, she looked utterly aghast, a faint flush rising to her cheeks.

Then, in the blink of an eye, she straightened herself up. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, lifting her chin to look down her nose at him.

“A proper morning meal is essential for maintaining one’s magical stamina,” she said stiffly, gesturing vaguely to her half-eaten wrap. “Even if the establishment insists on serving such… unique peasant-fare. Though I must admit, this breakfast burrito is rather exceptional. The inclusion of this chipotle stuff elevates it somewhat.”

Jason blinked, rubbing the back of his neck. “Wait… burrito? Chipotle? How do you even know those words if you’re from the—”

“I read the food signage, you simpleton,” Cassandra snapped, her nostrils flaring defensively as she pointed a finger toward the display.

Jason looked over, and lo and behold, every single item of food had a tiny, elegant little chalkboard sign placed directly in front of it, neatly labeling the dishes in pristine white cursive. Jason opened his mouth to say something, but ultimately decided it wasn't worth the headache just yet. Instead, he simply turned to the coffee station, poured himself a plain black coffee, and walked over to one of the large, circular wooden tables near the center of the room to sit down.

'I would have never expected an accused witch to be so snooty, ' he thinks as he takes a sip of his drink.

Before he could take his next sip, the heavy doors opened again; another person had made their way to breakfast.

In came Eleanor, dressed impeccably for the morning, wearing a modest brown A-line skirt that fell well past her knees and a wide-collared cream blouse that looked freshly pressed. As she entered, she stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes widening in shock as she took in the massive spread before her. The sheer luxury of having such a vast choice made her breath catch.

Noticing Jason, she composed herself once more and offered a warm, gentle smile. “Good morning, Jason.”

Jason gave a shy, nervous nod back. “Morning, Eleanor.”

Eleanor turned her smile toward the other woman. “Good morning, Cassandra.”

Cassandra merely let out a dismissive huff in response, turning her eyes back to the buffet table.

Unbothered, Eleanor made her way to the cereals section and carefully examined her options, as she scanned across the spread, her eyes narrowed in on a particular favourite of hers. She grabbed a ladle and scooped a simple, modest bowl of hot porridge, adding a small spoonful of butter for flavour. She selected an empty table close to the spread and sat down gracefully, and quietly savored her very first physical meal in nearly a century. Cassandra, meanwhile, chose a completely isolated table in the far corner, clearly intending to eat the rest of her burrito away from prying eyes.

Not too long later, Sylvie slid into the room, wearing a long knitted jade cardigan over a pale floral dress. She caught Jason’s eye and gave a tiny, hesitant wave before scurrying over to the food spread like a frightened rabbit. She grabbed a single slice of pale toast, then found a jar of honey and carefully spread a perfectly thin, even layer along the surface. A small, genuine smile touched her lips at the sweet scent. Clutching her plate, she shyly walked over to Jason’s table, her face turning a soft pink.

“U-Uhm… Jason?” she stuttered slightly, her eyes darting to the floor and back. “Would it… would it be alright if I… perhaps sat across from you? If that’s okay?”

“Oh, yeah, sure. Go ahead,” Jason said, offering a small, encouraging smile. Sylvie practically melted with relief as she sat down directly across from him, keeping her hands neatly folded in her lap for now.

Mika bounced into the hall next, sporting a pair of comfortable denim overalls over a bright orange t-shirt. She looked on wide-eyed at the overwhelming mountain of food, her tail swishing excitedly behind her. She completely bypassed the hot plates, her internal radar instantly locking onto the cereal section. Right there, sitting atop a large glass dispenser, was a bright green box of Apple Jacks; her absolute favorite cereal as a kid. Without a moment's hesitation, she poured herself a massive bowl, drowned it in cold milk, and slunk over to sit a few seats across from Jason and Sylvie, a look of pure, nostalgic bliss washing over her face as she took her first crunchy bite.

Esme arrived shortly after, moving with a quiet, confident stride. She was wearing a more casual fit than last night, a fitted black turtleneck and dark, high-waisted trousers; she still managed to look effortlessly stylish despite her newly altered proportions. Her breakfast selection was similarly simple and clean—a plate of crispy hash browns, grilled mushrooms, roasted tomatoes, and a few slices of hearty wholemeal toast. She took a seat at a long rectangular table near the back of the hall, eating quietly while observing the room.

Then, the doors creaked open one last time, and April shuffled in.

She was wearing her normal attire: Her oversized pink hoodie, and denim shorts, though today she was looking particularly miserable. Her cat ears were drooping and her eyes were heavy with dark circles. Last night had been a challenge for her, she is normally a back sleeper you see, but in the advent of her new ‘appendage’ she has found her previous sleeping habits no longer applicable, and to top it all off She was so thoroughly checked out and exhausted that she didn't even notice the small puddle of condensation that had dripped onto the tile floor as she approached the juice station.

Whoop!

“Whoa—!” April yelped as her sneaker completely lost traction. Her arms flailed wildly for balance, her elbow catching the edge of a nearby buffet table. With a loud, echoing crash, a massive platter of fresh fruit slices and a pitcher of orange juice went flying, spilling sticky liquid and melons all over the floor.

“Oh my goodness!” Eleanor gasped, immediately rising from her seat and rushing over to offer some help.

Poor April sat flat on her backside in the middle of the sticky puddle, her face burning a deep, mortified crimson. Her cat's tail was puffed up to twice its normal size in sheer frustration. “I—I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! I’m sorry!” she stammered profusely while clambering to get to her feet.

“It’s quite alright, dear; accidents happen,” Eleanor murmured gently, kneeling down beside her and using a napkin to try and dab the juice off April's clothes.

Before anyone else could move, a familiar Poof echoed right above the mess. Lyn appeared out of thin air, a mop instantly materializing in her hand. With a series of lightning-fast, blurred motions, she swept through the spill, completely erasing the mess and absorbing the juice in a matter of seconds. Then she continued to wipe her mop around the air, and the table's contents were somehow wiped back into existence.

Just as Eleanor was helping a deeply flustered April wipe the remaining splatters off her arms, the grand clock in the main hall began to chime.

Bing. Bong.

Exactly nine o'clock.

Right on cue, a cloud of glittering smoke erupted from the stage at the head of the dining hall. The heavy scent of sulfur cut through the pleasant food aroma as it parted, revealing Jocelyn hovering tall, her cane resting over her shoulder and a brilliant, blinding grin fixed onto her face.

To say her sudden appearance was jarring compared to the peace in the hall prior would be an understatement.

“Good morning, my lovely contestants!” Jocelyn chirped loudly, her voice echoing perfectly through the room. “I hope you enjoyed your little taste of luxury, because Day One has officially begun, and it is time for our very first set of announcements!”

“Now, I know what you’re all thinking,” she began, “Jocelyn, darling, the food is divine, the rooms are cozy, but when do we get to the real good stuff?” her eyes sweeped over the scattered tables, pausing just an extra second on April, who was still being frantically fussed over by Eleanor.

“Well I’m here to tell you that the wait is over! Today marks the first day of our little contest here and it is a special one might I add, a double date special to be exact, and on day one no less! How unique! How daring! How–“

Jocelyn paused mid sentence and scanned the room.

“Where’s Barbara?” Jocelyn inquired, her perpetual grin faltering slightly as she continued to look around, confused.

Mika blushed slightly, swallowing down her mouthful of Apple Jacks, then stood up to speak.

“Ehhh… she’s still asleep. I tried to get her up in time, but there's only so much I can do.”

“Still asleep?” Jocelyn turned back to Lyn, her eyes narrowing. “I thought I was very clear about making sure everyone was here on time?”

In response, Lyn didn’t say a word. With a sudden, POOF, she vanished.

Barely two seconds passed before another loud POOF echoed through the hall, right at the foot of the stage. Lyn reappeared, completely unbothered, effortlessly holding Babs straight over her head like a championship weightlifter.

Babs had been completely dead to the world just a moment ago, but now she was furiously thrashing in Lyn’s vice-like grip. She was wearing a tight black vest shirt and a pair of loose drawstring pants, and as she violently squirmed to break free, her sizeable chest bounced around wildly with every single movement. The chaotic, heavy motion immediately caught the eyes of the other girls, causing a mix of conflicting and enticing thoughts in most of the heads in the room.

Her face burning with pure rage, Babs drew in a deep breath to hurl a venomous insult at the little blue assistant.

“Put me down, you little blue freak! If you don't drop me right now,—“

But as the words left her mouth, her chest violently hitched. The white-hot anger in her chest was instantly hijacked by the inescapable weight of her [Slip of the Tongue] punishment. Her eyes widened in absolute horror as the words twisted inside her throat, overriding her vocal cords completely.

“—I’ll wrap my thighs around you, and pull you in tight against my—

“Okayyy” Jocelyn interrupted with a tap of the cane. “That is not an image I need in my head right now so I’ll let that one slide for now Barbara.

The entire dining hall fell into an absolute, pin-drop silence.

Lyn, entirely unfazed by the explicit outburst, simply lowered her arms and dropped Babs onto the polished floor with a heavy, unceremonious thud.

“Awake!!” Lyn announced proudly, adjusting her hat.

Babs scrambled backward on her hands and knees, her drawstring pants riding low on her hips and her chest still bouncing heavily as she tried to put distance between herself and Jocelyn. She desperately wanted to scream at somebody right now, but she clamped her teeth tightly together, not wanting to hear what filthy thought might slip out next if she tried.

Up on the stage, Jocelyn’s grin snapped right back into place, her eyes sparkling with pure amusement as she leaned heavily on her cane.

“So, Barbara,” Jocelyn purred, her melodic voice echoing perfectly through the quiet hall. “I didn't realise that you had more important things to attend to this morning. But thank you for joining us anyway! Now that everyone is properly present and accounted for, let's get back to business!”

Jocelyn swung her cane around, pointing the metallic tip directly toward the center tables and began to recite her speach again, with rehearsed precision.

“Today marks the first official day of our little contest here, and it is a special one, might I add; a double date special! How unique! How daring! Our lucky Master Jason is going to be spending his entire day getting up close and personal with our towering biker beauty, Barbara, and our clumsy little kitty, April!”

April, who was still drying her juice-stained hoodie with Eleanor's help, froze instantly, her black cat ears stood to attention at the mention of her name. Across the room, Babs let out a tired groan.

“Let's see how our Master handles the pressure,” Jocelyn chuckled almost sweetly, her eyes dancing with anticipation. “Contestants, your first day begins now!”

Authors note: I am so sorry about the long gaps between chapters and the size/content of the last few, I have a lot going on IRL right now including being evicted and having to find new housing, and writing hasn’t been my biggest priority.

But fret not! This is a story I still have every intention of seeing through, this has just been a rough year so far, but thankyou to the people who keep reading and commenting! It means a lot :)
I promise updates will speed up soon, things are starting to stabilise and I am moving this upcoming week, also the next chapter may be sooner than you think ;)
And also, thanks for reading! You guys are awesome!
-Jozlyn