The Bully Bodyguard´s case

“Gotta say, Laura, I’m surprised you agreed to help me with this case.”

Rebecca took a sip from her coffee mug and groaned, leaning against her wooden chair. It was hard to take my hard-boiled detective friend seriously while she wore a pink negligee… although maybe hard-boiled was the most adequate description for her.

She had dark shades under her green eyes, and her red hair was doing more splits than a gymnast. The case was gnawing at her, especially since she went behind her boss to hire a P.I. like me.

Despite not rocking the early-morning look, I would still say Rebecca was like, the third most beautiful girl on campus right now. I’m the first, obviously.

The second place probably has to go to the spunky bundle of joy that is my assistant Annie Nigma. She is sitting right across the table like Rebecca. She is also a redhead, although her hair only reaches up to her neck. Her skin is softer than a pillow, only besmirched by a few freckles that give her that jovial allure-

“Err, boss. You are doing that staring thing again…” Annie complained, rudely interrupting my inner monologue.

“Don’t worry about it. Laura used to do that all the time in the ****.” Rebecca placed her mug on the raw wood like the bad girl she was. As she turned to talk to me, Annie discreetly shuffled a coaster underneath it. “What does worry me is that you are not taking this seriously, Laura. You aren’t even dressed for the job.”

“Y-yes,” Annie chimed in. “I can still pass as a college student, but you, boss…”

“Be careful with what you are implying, Annie.”

“Err, I mean that you, hmm, don’t quite look like…”

“Don’t beat around the bush, girl. Laura, why the fuck are you dressed like a cheerleader?”

I leaned back on my chair, making a show of crossing my lovely chocolate-colored legs. The skirt only reached up to my firm thighs, so both redhead’s eyes were glued to my panty-clad groin… proving my point.

“Because, even if someone doesn’t think I belong in college, no one will complain about this cheerleading bombshell walking among them.”

“I-“

With a quiet thud, the apartment door closed behind us. A mousy woman shuffled into our impromptu meeting. Her skin was paler than the milk Annie was drinking. Her dark hair was long and greasy, her face framed by giant glasses that made her eyes seem tiny.

Mimi was her name, the gal we are meant to protect. Supposedly, she is a great hacker. She ripped the source code of that Vice City San Andreas game. She didn’t leak it, of course, but she bragged about it. Loud enough to attract the wrong kind of attention.

Less reputable hackers tried to buy the source code from her. One of them, 1nc0gn1tΛ, was particularly insistent, threatening to kidnap Mimi after she refused. No one at the station took the warning seriously except for Rebecca. Or at least, they didn’t want to waste police resources protecting a self-professed criminal.

Therefore, we were hired as her bodyguards. It seemed like an easy babysitting job, however…

“Mimi, for crying out loud. What happened to your pants?”

Mimi’s milky thighs were almost blinding. She was going pantless, her Princess Peach shirt didn’t stretch low enough to cover her shaved groin. “Err, a couple of girls cornered me in the hallway and took my pants.”

“Your room is just down the hall! You tell me that happened right outside the door? In the ten-second walk from here?”

“…yes.”

The problem is that Mimi is the most unpopular girl on campus, bar none. Her habit of getting into other people’s phones and exposing how they cheat, both tests and their sweethearts, has earned her more enemies than a mob boss.

Not even the faculty is sympathetic to her after she leaked their little scheme to pad their numbers to qualify for the Aspen Prize. But, they didn’t find grounds to cancel her sizeable scholarship, and her grades are always top-notch. So, she is still here. To the displeasure of everything involved.

“They even took your panties?!”

“I, erm, no. I decided not to wear panties anymore… people are always yanking them up, pouring gravy into them, making me wear them on my head, or hooking them to the flagpole and hoisting them up, sometimes while I’m still wearing them…”

Annie and I shared the look. It was going to be one of those cases.

“Go back to your room and put some pants on!”

“I’d rather not. What if I’m ambushed again?”

Rebecca massaged her forehead. With a grimace longer than the highway, she stood up and shuffled her brown shorts down her legs. She tossed the garment at Mimi, who failed to catch it and had to fetch it from the ground.

“You can borrow my short pants. it’s not like I’m going to leave this room today. Now, girls, you know the drill. Protect Mimi from any would-be kidnappers. I’ll hold the fort and keep an eye on the campus cameras from here. I’ll let you know if I see anything suspicious.”

“Fine, let’s get this over with.” I stood up and opened the door outside. A bucket fell, nearly missing my head and ruining the hallway’s carpet with cold water. I heard a couple of girls giggle as they ran back to the stairs. “It’s going to be a long day.”