The Book of The Body

The Limo rocketed across the salt flats. It didn’t know where it was going, except for away. Away from that toxic Casino.

“We can’t keep doing this.” Stan panted, totally exhausted. If any of them had been human, it's likely they'd all be gone a long time ago. Still, even demons and robots had their limits.

“I know.” Cleopatra leaned up against him. Once there might have been the warmth of familiarity and seduction to the move. Now they were just two exhausted souls laying on each other for support. “I’m fit to collapse.”

“Wimps.” Molly sighed and stared out the window. There were dessert and salt flats passing them by at a breakneck speed. “It looks like this set has been abandoned.” She chuckled. “This world is a map of Route 66, and it goes right past Colorado.”

“Maybe we should just give up.” Cleopatra groaned. She pulled a bottle of champagne out of the limo’s fridge. “Let’s just find a place to hide here.” She raised the bottle to the sky. “We’ll start a new society for humans, devils, and robots alike.”

“That’s not like you,” Stan said gently.

“Oh it’s perfectly like me.” She swigged from the bottle. “I killed myself to avoid my ultimate fate. You saw that thing in the snow, we’re fooling ourselves if we think we could beat something like that.” She was still shivering from the cold, and from the way that little doll had lifted Stan off of his feet.

“We just have to beat Skylar,” Molly said defiantly. “I thought you had a plan.”

Cleopatra exploded. “I did! But that was before I saw how crazed she was. She’s going to rip us up like a Rottweiler before I get a word out.”

“All you care about is winning.” Molly sneered.

Cleopatra nodded. “Exactly right, if you want a glorious loser, stick with Boudica.”

“What we’re doing is right.” Molly's eyes were fire. “Didn’t it feel good to stick it to the hosts? To spoil their stupid shows? Why do you think they sent so many people after us? Because they’re afraid! We scare them!”

“I’m with her.” Stan crossed his arms. He was shining with sweat, his limbs trembled with exhaustion. “If there is a chance of a chance of a chance that we can help the others, I'm taking it. They’re scared of us because they think we can do it.”

“You’re both fools.” Cleopatra closed her eyes. Her body throbbed, she’d gone beyond what a human could do… plus ultra. “If you die, you’re gone. No souls, but there are fates worth than ****. It’s me they want.”

“Slavery is worse than ****,” Molly growled. “Not having control of my own life, name, and memories is worse than ****.”

Stan nodded. “Seeing the people I love suffer is worse.”

“It’s me they want.” She whispered again. She hadn’t let it on, but that chase had really disturbed her. All those hosts fighting over her, but it wasn’t like in life. They didn’t value her wit, her beauty, her power. They just wanted her as a tool to get what they wanted, she was nothing more than clay to them. Something to be molded into their perverse desires.

Stan smiled. “They can want you all they like, you said it yourself. Who is worthy of claiming such a treasure?”

The limo braked before she could answer, everyone went lunging forward and Cleo spilled the champagne.

The DJ’s voice blared over the radio. Her voice as soft as velvet.

“Hall of Famer Tex has gathered himself a few backup vocals, and they’ve got a killer tune. Watch out runaways, if you want to get to Colorado, you’re gonna have to do a little crowd surfing.”

Molly popped open the sunroof and stuck her head out. “Oh my god…”

The others joined her and their gasps joined her one, into one miserable exhalation. Stretched before them was an army. Extras, PA’s hosts, janitors, crew members, riggers, boom Mic operators, best boys, caterers, goons, goblins, and super fans. They stretched out like some dark army standing at the gates of Mordor. At the head of this army was a dusty old man on a dusty old horse. He had on a Pancho and a cowboy hat.

“Cleopatra.” He was voiced by Steve Blum. His voice carried over the salt flat like the desert wind. “Don’t know what made these youngins think waking you up from your grave was a good idea, but it weren’t.”

Cleopatra blushed, his voice was like sexy gravel.

“Eternity is a lonely thing…” the man sighed. “I reckon the trail would be a good bit less lonesome iffin we had someone to walk it with.” As he spoke, he loaded bullets into a six-shooter. “Now I’m walkin’ towards eternity, and I don’t plan on doing it alone. The only question is are you going to walk into that sunset by my side as my wife.” He raised his gun, and despite being quite a ways away, aimed it with deadly precision towards Cleo. “Or under me as my horse.”

“Now I know how Helen feels.” Cleo gave a half sob. “These people only see us as prizes. Something to fight over.” She looked at the vast army set before her. “It’s hopeless.” She started to crawl out onthe sunroof.

“Cleopatra no!” Stan reached out to grab her, but stopped short. He couldn’t do it.

As she pulled herself out of the car, she smiled at Stan. “I asked for you to be rich, and Eve asked for you to be good… even with my trait corrupting you, you’re a better human than I could ever be.”

The man on the horse sat up. “They said you have brains. Glad to see you coming to the right decision.” He holstered his gun.

Cleopatra nodded and walked the length of the limo to the driver's side door. “I pair up with the winner.” She sighed. “I always try and make the smart move.”

“Cleo no! Think about what these bastards have done to you!” Molly screamed.

“Don’t do it Cleo!” Stan yelled. “The others still need you.”

Cleo growled at them. “Will you two shut up?”

Tex chuckled. “Firey, I like that. Come on now, little lady, we got a long ride back to dodge city.”

“No.” Cleopatra planted her feet. “Because today, I’ve learned something from my friends.” Cleopatra lowered her hand down to her hip.

The camera zooms in on her wiggling fingers.

Tex cocks an eyebrow and lowered his own hand down to his hostler. “And what’s that?”

A whistle whips through the salt flat, a tumbleweed rolls between them. Everyone shifts uncomfortably. Stan and Molly duck back down into the limo.

“How to be stupid!” Cleopatra lunged for the driver's side door.

A gunshot rings out.

Cleopatra heard a thud in front of her face. She sees the bullet lodged into the glass of the open door , still spinning. Its magic whistles to her. “I’m going to turn you into an animal.” It says.

Cleopatra jumps into the diver’s seat before a second shot could finish the job. She placed her hands on the wheel. The black of the limo transformed into a golden sheen. The engine roared.

Over the speaker, Molly’s voice rung out. “I knew you wouldn’t give in! Nobody is worthy of claiming you, and I right?”

Another gunshot scratched the window in front of her. Right between her eyes. The guy had amazing aim. “No, that’s not it, I’m doing this…” she moved the car into drive, and started spinning her wheels. “… because I want to be like Stan!” The limo shot forward, aimed right at the horse. “I’ve got to save my husband!... and those other people.”

The golden Limo roared forward, and so did Tex’s posse. The wave of bodies had no fear, or thoughts really. The lot of them were white-eyed zombies, shambling to his commands.

Behind the limo, the world upheaved. The edges of the set rose into the sky and began to roll towards the limo like a tsunami. Dirt, and rock, and road, and gas stations, cacti, vultures, and all the potential of a perverse season of clowns, dorses, and a female lead came tumbling towards them.

“Stupid move.” Cleopatra grunted, pressing her foot as flat to the floor as it could go. “Now I’ve got nowhere to run!”

“She’s totally crazy!” Molly cried. Fastening her seatbelt.

“It’s kind of hot!” Stan did the same.

The limbo slammed into the wave of assailants and sent them flying into the air as the golden chariot plowed its way through the garbage.

Cleopatra lost sight of Tex, as bodies went rolling and flying out of her way. Totally pg-13 unharmed.

“Do you even know where the door is?” A voice from within the limo tutted.

Both Molly and Stan screamed as Eloise appeared in the seat across from them. They’d become familiar enough with her thanks to the rave harem, and after her performance on stage with Skylar.

“Sorry kids, didn’t mean to scare ya.” She winked her dark eyes. She looked like she'd regained some of her grace after having slunk away while Boudica destroyed the network. She was looking and feeling like she was back in control.

“What do you want?” Stan growled. Familiarity breeds contempt, after all, and Eloise was a supremely contemptible being.

She shrugged and crossed her legs. “I got what I want, baby. Now I’m just enjoying the afterglow. Skylar is dead, Babs is stuck in retirement, I’ve won, and now I can finally be free.”

“Then why are you here?” Molly snarled.

“I’m here to take you home.”

A gunshot rang through the limo. A bullet hole ripped the roof above them open. The soda can-sized gap of twisted metal revealed Tex standing on the roof, cocking his next shot.

Eloise was unphased, even though Stan and Molly were scrambling to unbuckle.

“Your whole cast has done so much for me, I figured I at least owed you that much.”

Another gunshot, this time the roof above them, blew off.

“Fuuuuck!” Stan cried, throwing himself over Molly. “Do it! Just fucking do it.”

Eloise smiled and looked up at Tex. “Sorry old timer, Master makes the rules.” Her dress came to life and swallowed up Stan and Molly. Tendrils of darkness and fabric It burst through the driver's window and ate Cleopatra too. Then it reeled back in as if they never existed. She gave him a coy smile and put her hand on the door. “Now to make my exit, I…”

BLAM!

Eloise collapsed and fell out of the car. A dark void was beyond it, and she fell through.

“Green horn.” Tex growled out. The limo had no driver so it swirled widely as the collapsing world began to catch up with it. He calmly checked his gun, even as the limo began to get pulled into the earthen wave. “One shot left.” He stepped towards the open door. “Better make it count.”